Beneath His Cold Eyes

Kabanata 32

Love

I know I was wrong for acting that way.

And now, feel bad because I know...I am not the same girl he used to love years ago. I am aware that my insecurities and flaws started to show up for the past years, hindi kagaya noong dati na naitatago ko pa. Siguro ay dala ng paghihirap sa treatment, at sa araw-araw na pag-iisip tungkol sa maraming bagay.

I changed. I know I did. The past years changed me. Gone is the little girl who's optimistic, understanding and full of warmth. What's left is the insecure, frustrated, bitter and regretful woman who doesn't know where to find the lost love, contentment and happiness in her.

And that realization just dawned on me...right after Kyzer left with Lucienne.

Sigurado akong...hindi gaya ko'ng insecure at bitter ang gugustuhin niya. There are better women for him. They even flock on his feet. Mamimili na lang siya kung alin doon ang tingin niya'y perpekto para sa kaniya...

Mas lalo akong nakumbinsi na...talagang deserve niya ng mas higit pa sa akin. He doesn't need someone like me who will just dump him when times are hard. He deserves a stable, secure and peaceful love. The love that stays. The love that's silent and calm, yet strong enough to endure the storms.

Hindi ako sigurado kung maibibigay ko iyon sa kaniya.

"Magkakilala kayo?" tanong ni Architect Chavez nang makaalis na ang dalawa.

"Uh...yup," simple kong sagot.

"Oh, akala ko you were just simply curious about him. Magkakilala pala kayo. Kung ano-ano pa'ng sinabi ko kanina. Sorry about that," she chuckled.

I smiled.

"Okay lang, Architect."

"Sus! Leigh na lang, 'te. Ang formal masyado. Daig mo pa si Engineer Valderama niyan!"

I chuckled and nodded at her.

We went back at work after a few minutes of chatting. True enough, Kyzer went back after an hour. He folded his sleeves up to his elbows when he entered the resthouse.

Medyo nagulat pa ako nang tumigil siya harap ng desk ko. Ramdam ko ang panonood ng mga kasama namin ngunit okupado ang isip ko sa bigla niyang paglapit."Come with me. Bring your designs," he commanded.

"Huh? Saan?"

"In my office," bago pa ako makatanggi ay nauna na siyang pumanhik sa taas.

I swallowed hard and slowly followed him upstairs. My heart is beating so fast, not because of fear but with something else.

Iisa lang naman ang pinto ng second floor at nakabukas ito kaya doon ako nagtungo. My heartbeat doubled in its quick pace as soon as I entered the cold room.

My eyes found his intense gaze. He is still standing with his hand on his table, leaning his body a bit. Unti-unting gumala ang tingin ko sa kabuuan niya. Lalong kumalabog ang puso ko nang matanto kung gaano siya kagwapo. Kung noon ay malakas na talaga ang dating niya, mas trumiple yata ngayon.

The first three buttons of his white long sleeves were opened so I got a peek of his hard chest. His messy hair complimented the sensual grim of his expression. As I looked at him intently, I realized his features got more defined and mature than before, as well as his body built. He looked so manly, intense and brooding as ever, and his commanding air make all the girls in the city go crazy for him, like he can bring anyone down to their knees just for his attention.

"Sit down," he ordered.

Napakurap-kurap akin saka ngumuso at sinunod siya. Naupo ako sa isang mahabang couch na naro'n saka inilapag ang mga designs sa maliit na mesa sa gitna.