May 1999
It was late when Lindsey snuck in. He smelled of beer, and went to brush his teeth and change into fresh clothes before climbing into bed with Stevie. Max was sound asleep beside her, curled up in the little nook between her chest and her expanding belly.
Stevie felt Lindsey get into bed and she opened her tired eyes to look at him, "the guest room is set up."
"I'm sorry I left. Please don't make me sleep in the guest room," he pleaded.
"Fine. Stay on your own side." Stevie rolled over, taking Max with her. Lindsey lay quietly on his back, waiting for her to speak. The words never come. She doesn't have anything to say and all she wants right now is to close her tired eyes and hold her baby boy and not talk about what happened tonight, or how hurt she is.
"Steph...." He reaches for her. She doesn't move away but she does flinch.
"Please, Lindsey, I'm exhausted. Can we discuss this in the morning?"
He pauses, not wanting to upset her when he asks, "will you still be here in the morning?"
She scoffs, "I'm not you. I don't run away when things get tough."
He has nothing to say to that and he turns over. They both fall into a restless slumber.
Stevie wakes up early the next day with Max for his morning feeding and oatmeal, as she was trying to slowly wean him, so she wasn't simultaneously trying to breastfeed two babies at once. Max was having a hard time with it and it was making him cranky on top of his teething. It was all very exhausting.
"Do you need some help?" Lindsey asks, standing in the doorway.
"Not unless you grew a pair of breasts over night," she answers, not looking up.
"Are you going to talk to me?"
"You left me. You know better than that!" She raises her voice and immediately regrets it when Max starts fussing.
Lindsey clears his throat, "I needed some space. What you said really hurt me."
"I told you that we could figure it out, but every time things get complicated you're the first one out the door."
"Why are you so against our children having my last name?"
"Oh jeez, well let me think about that," she replies sarcastically, "maybe so that when they're older I don't have to answer questions like 'mommy why is my name different from yours?' and have to explain to them that their father is a coward and took off for God only knows where!"
"Is that what you think of me?" Lindsey yells, over the cries of his son. Stevie fixes her shirt and props the baby on her shoulder, bouncing him gently and trying to soothe him.
"Well you're not really giving me any other impression, Lindsey!" She screams at him and takes a deep breath. They were not going to those parents who bitterly fought in front of their children. Even Lizzie was getting upset now, as Stevie could feel her kicking around rampantly.
Lindsey sighs, "all I want is for our kids to have my last name and hopefully someday you will too."
Stevie begins pacing around the living room with Max, trying to calm him down, "what are we going to tell the world, Linds?"
"Why are you so concerned about that?"
"Because it effects our children! I don't understand what you don't get about that. We have three kids to think of." She says, clearly exasperated by the situation.
Lindsey takes Max when he reaches for him. He wipes his son's tears away and kisses his little cheeks, "baby, you have to realize that no one did anything wrong in this situation. Yes, I was with Kristen when I got her pregnant; but we had broken up and I was with you when we got pregnant. Then with Lizzie, I wasn't with Kristen either. For the most part Kristen and I have just been friends since we stopped seeing each other. There's nothing to be ashamed of. We have nothing to hide."
"Why is it so important for these kids to have your last name?" She finally asks.
"I...I don't know. It's about leaving behind a legacy. It's important to me. You get to carry them around and bond with them nine months prior to me; the least you could do is give them their father's name." He explains.
Stevie begins cleaning up the baby toys scattered around the living room, just to give herself something to do, "yeah, you have to leave behind a legacy for when you run out on us again."
"Jesus Christ, Stephanie, I was only gone a few hours!"
"I didn't know if you were coming back or not. I sat by that fucking door like a goddamn idiot waiting on you," she cries, no longer able to hold back her tears.
"Why wouldn't I come back?" He asks, placing Max in his playpen and leading Stevie out of the room so they could continue their conversation without upsetting their son further.
Stevie follows him and shrugs, "I don't know; maybe you got someone else pregnant and thought you should go help her out for a while!"
"That's a low fucking blow, Steph."
"You aren't giving me many reasons to trust you, Lindsey!" She yells.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's all I've been doing since we got back together and you made me go to counseling with you!" Lindsey runs his hand through his hair, beyond frustrated now.
"Yeah, and then you ran off! God, you're such a prick sometimes. Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?" She hisses at him.
"Oh, don't give me that bullshit when you're being a selfish bitch about the kids' names!"
Stevie pauses and the glare she gives him takes him back to 1977, "what did you call me?"
"Baby, you know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
She tries to push past him to walk out of the room but he grabs her arm gently. She yanks it away, "hands off."
He holds his hands up in the air. They're both turned not facing each other. Lindsey is the first to speak.
"Either we change Max's name and give Lizzie mine, or I'll give you exactly what you want and stay out of the picture and they can just be yours."
Stevie doesn't move; doesn't speak. She stands there quietly with an ultimatum hanging over her head.
