November 1998
Stevie awoke early the next morning, knowing it was time for Max's next feeding. She sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, glancing over to the spot next to her.
He was gone. Lindsey was gone again. She looked over to the bathroom door to see if it was closed. It wasn't. For a moment she felt paralyzed; like she couldn't move or speak or even cry as badly as she wanted to. How could he just be gone again? This is why she should not have let him back into her heart or her bed. She had been so foolish to let her guard down.
She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. She could not fall apart this time. She had to be strong for her son. Ultimately their relationship should be about him, not how they keep fucking each other over and breaking each other's hearts.
"Good morning, sleepyhead."
She hears the familiar voice and looks up with unshed tears in her eyes, "Lindsey."
He walks towards her with Max, handing him over, "he's ready for breakfast."
Stevie takes the baby quietly and Lindsey watches her for a moment. He sits on the bed next to her, playing with her hair, "have you been crying?"
"No," she replies, shaking her head and keeping her eyes focused on Max.
"What's wrong, angel?"
"Nothing I just...I thought you left." She admits.
"Oh, baby," he pulls her closer and she rests her head on his shoulder, "you can't get rid of me that easily."
Stevie laughs quietly and turns her head to place soft kisses on his neck. He tilts his head and closes his eyes. He feels Max kick him in the ribs and he laughs a little.
"He does not like that," Stevie says as she tickles his little foot.
"He hates it when mommy's attention is elsewhere." Lindsey strokes his son's cheek and laughs when he kicks his feet again.
She hands Max over to Lindsey when she's done feeding him and kisses both of them before heading downstairs to make pancakes, as promised. Stevie gets lost in her thoughts as she's making breakfast. She gets lost in her thoughts doing just about anything these days. She just wasn't quite sure what to do about Lindsey. Did she want him back? She was pretty sure the answer to that was yes. She does love him, after all. Could she take him away from Kristen and William? She wasn't so sure about that. She certainly did not want to be a home wrecker. Was she over their break up?
That's the question Stevie lingered on the longest. Was she over their break up? To some extent she must have been if she made love to him last night. She still felt that hole in her chest, and although it was getting smaller, it was still there. They had some serious trust issues they would have to work through before she could honestly consider settling down with him. She wasn't even sure that was something he wanted. Maybe he was really happy with Kristen.
"Breakfast smells good," Lindsey interrupts her from her thoughts as he walks in the kitchen with Max. He puts his baby bouncer on the table and lays him in it gently.
"It's almost done." She moves around him to set the table and once she's done with that, he reaches for her arm and gently pulls her close to kiss her.
She wraps her arms around his neck and lets herself get lost in the kiss for a moment before pulling away to grab the pancakes so they don't burn. She catches Lindsey smiling out of the corner of her eye and she can't help smiling to herself. She was overthinking things for the moment. Right here and right now, the three of them could be a happy little family. They could think about all that other stuff later.
