Author's note: I just wanted to add a trigger warning for some of the context discussed in this chapter. It's not that bad/things we didn't know about Stevie before (circa Don Henley era) but I know that can be bothersome to others.
February 1999
Stevie is pacing in the foyer when Lindsey walks into the house. She looks up at him like she wants to strangle him, and he takes a step back, just in case she tries.
"You," she says, poking him in the chest with her finger, "I'm going to kill you."
Lindsey clears his throat nervously, "well, this is certainly not what I was expecting when you asked me to come over."
Stevie starts pacing again, running her hand through her long blonde locks, "how could you be so fucking irresponsible?"
"Okay, I'm gonna be honest here, I have no idea what we're talking about and also please don't hurt me. If you're gonna hit me, aim below the neck." He's looking at her panicked and all she can think is good.
She drags him, literally drags him, to the kitchen by his ear, "ow! Ow! Steph, come on! That fucking hurts."
She lets go of him and shoves him a little without much malice behind it. She crosses her arms and glares at him.
"Did you use a condom when we first had sex?" They weren't 'allowed' to have sex right now according to their therapist, but they did anyway.
Lindsey thinks about it, "you mean right before thanksgiving? Uh no, what do you think I am? A teenage boy that carries condoms around in his wallet?"
Stevie shakes her head and begins pacing again before Lindsey interrupts her train of thought, "I thought you were on the pill."
"Did you read any of those baby books I gave you? Nursing mothers can't be on birth control!" She yells, getting frustrated.
"Stephanie, what exactly are you getting at here?" Lindsey takes a seat, thinking he may need it.
"I'm pregnant again. Good. Fucking. Job."
"I don't...how did this...." He stumbles over his words.
"I don't know! I was under the impression that it was very difficult to conceive while nursing. I figured at my age, with my history I had nothing to worry about. I did not think I would end up pregnant again." She finally takes a seat at the table with Lindsey.
Lindsey sits back in his seat and smirks, "sounds to me like this was your fault. You didn't tell me I'd need to bring protection."
"Lindsey Adams Buckingham, if you do not shut the fuck up right now I will choke you out."
"Duly noted. So what's next? Steph! This is so exciting! Maybe it'll be a girl!" He speaks so enthusiastically it almost breaks her heart.
Stevie runs her hand through her hair, "we have two children under the age of one. They'll barely be one by the time the new baby gets here. That's....a lot."
"You had better not be suggesting we give up our baby." He says with a warning tone, "it's my proof that I'm a freakin' stud."
"Stop thinking about yourself for one goddamn second!"
"It's not my fault we both seem to be incredibly fertile in our older ages!" He shoots back.
"You got me pregnant!" She yells.
"You jumped on my dick! You knew the risks, minimal as they were, but you weren't going to let me walk away. You know how you get..."
Stevie folds her arms again, "no, please tell me; how do I get?"
Lindsey clears his throat, "nothing. Never mind."
"I can't have this baby, Lindsey. I can't do it. Raising Max is hard enough. I'm...exhausted. Eventually I'd like to go back to work. This isn't what I want. It isn't want I planned for!" She starts crying now, but unlike normal he doesn't move to comfort her.
"So what? You're just going to have an abortion and pretend that our baby never existed?" Lindsey stands up, arms crossing like he's protecting his heart from falling out of his chest.
Stevie takes a deep breath, "I still have a few weeks to decide."
"Hey, let me decide for you. No. You're not getting rid of our baby!" He shouts.
"This is not your decision to make!"
"Please, Stephanie, tell me how this isn't my decision to make. I'm pretty sure this is our baby since neither of us have been with anyone else, so this should be our decision," he looks a bit defeated as he takes a seat again, this time further away from her at the table.
"Let me be a little more clear with you; I don't want this baby." Stevie looks at him, leaving no room for argument.
"Then you deliver it and I'll raise it on my own," he suggests.
"How, exactly, do you plan for that to work?" She looks at him skeptically.
Lindsey shrugs, "I don't know and frankly, I don't care. I will figure it out as long as I get to keep my baby."
"Our baby," she corrects him.
"Oh no, you have made it abundantly clear that you don't want this baby. So now it's mine."
"I'm the one who has to carry it to term!" She wants to punch him and scream and cry.
"Poor fucking you. I'll be the one raising it for the next eighteen years," he replies, leaving no room for sympathy.
"This is your fault!" She's screaming now and completely hysterical. His resolve crumbles and he goes to her; turning the baby monitor on downstairs before carrying her to the bedroom. Hey lays her on the bed gently and pulls her close when he gets in.
Lindsey waits until her sobs stop to begin speaking, " okay, first off, no more blaming each other. It gets us no where. No more screaming matches in front of our son. We're going to these ridiculous sessions for him. To better ourselves so we can be a good family. I'm sorry I was a jerk earlier," he reaches over and wipes some tears from her eyes.
"This wasn't how things were supposed to go, Linds! I...I was going to go back into the studio at the end of the year and record a new album snd it was going to be okay," she put her face in her hands and started sobbing again. All Lindsey could do was hand her a box of tissues and hold her.
"Angel, it is going to be okay. You always talk about fate and destiny and those beautiful things. This baby was our destiny. This is one more way the universe is telling us to have another baby and to give this whole parenting thing one last shot." Lindsey plays with her hair, doing whatever it takes to get her attention.
Finally, Stevie rises from the bed. She opens the doors to her balcony and steps outside. The ocean wind is whipping her golden locks all over the place. Lindsey follows her out, resting his chin on her shoulder and kissing her neck.
She tilts her head and closes her eyes, "I'm not having this baby." It's all she has to say before she can feel the flood of hot tears from him on her neck.
