super poor kids | rosekiller

chapter 5

im sorry, super sorry like mega super humongus sorry
tw-thoughts of sewerslide attempt?, inappropriate launguage, wrong use of whom, mentjon of blood, self harm

barty was never enough, and he would never be enough in the eyes of everyone else. his dad, his friends, his teachers, everyone. bartys hardest would never he hard enough. even if he got top of his classes his dad would never truely be satisfied in him. so there barty was on the edge of the astronomy tower.

he was thinking about it. jumping could take all the pain away. but wouldnt it be selfish of him? not thinking about how his death might affect his friends. just one more step.

"you should do it"

barty turns around and looks at chloes blond hair, and honey skin. "i dont have time for this"

"you will fall in love with me. and if you dont you will be scheduling evans funeral"

evan takes a step back from the edge "why me?"

"because your perfect for me"

"im perfect for you but you tell me to off myself?"

"if i cant have you alive, i'll have you when your dead" she paused "you know what im capable of, i can ruin your life any second. your dad, evan, regulus"

"i do know what your capable of, but havent you ruined my life enough? evan is on the verge of ending it with me, and my dad already hates me. you cant phase me"

chloe manically laughs "he should end it"

"okay. im done feeding into you, do your worst"

"my worst is coming"

evan was sitting in the corner of the library waiting for barty, whom was late once again. "im so sorry evan i had to do something"

"mhm"

barty takes a seat across from him and puts him arms on the table. "so what did you want me here for?"

"the truth" evan states plainly

"evan, i drink vodka from a disney princess cup, you really think i would cheat on you?"

"not exactly, but it was always a possibility. did chloe give you anything to drink that day?"

barty shrugged "just some water"

"shit. barty it was amortentia, what were you thinking"

"how was i supposed to know"

"did you want to kiss her?"

"of course not evan. i would bleed myself  dry before betraying you"

"i dont know b, maybe we should take a break and figure out what we want"

these exact words are what broke barty. he would never recover. if evan didn't want him, then no one else would. barty once again wasnt good enough.

"why are you so scared of commitment? the second something goes wrong you immediately want to end things just like that? even after 5 years of knowing you, and a fee months of dating you im still not good enough"

"no, i didnt mean it like that" evan pleads

"its alright evan. we can still be friends, just not like we used to be"

Standing, he leaned on the sink basin, staring at his reflection. he looked like hell- eyes wide and lifeless, the light not being reflected back. his hair was a frizzy mess. and his skin looked a little sallow. didn't look great.

Reaching under the sink, he found the blade and he had taped there, pulling it free and washing it off. Making sure there was no dust or germs on it. Before placing the curved tip against his skin and dragging it across.

Relief flooded him, filling him to the brim, as the pain trickled into my body like the drip drops of rain. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

Again.

barty always stopped at thirteen- no more than that. he was afraid that he wouldn't stop, if he went beyond. And thirteen had always seemed like a good number to end on, for the maximum.

sorry lol anyways bye