𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 ~ 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒛𝒐𝒏𝒂

1

Her feet ached but she didn't care.
She felt dizzy but ignored it.
She didn't want to stop until she reached her very limit.

Did she reach her limit yet?
Could she finally stop?
When will the pain go away?

Was it raining? Or were the tears that had escaped her eyes wetting her face?

Could she stop running if she'd want to?
Or would she need to continue to run until the painful thoughts disappeared into thin air?

Would they ever disappear? The thoughts?

It felt like all the air in her lungs got pushed out. Like the memories were burned into her brain.
Like the voice she was missing so much had stayed in her ears.
Like the picture of the two of them would be right in front of her eyes.
Like, wherever she'd go, Emory was there. Always.

Sometimes when she couldn't sleep she put some of Emory's perfume on her pillow. Maybe to trick her brain into thinking that she was still there.  Or to help her sleep. Both could be right- both could be wrong. How would she know? 

The dizziness kept getting worse. Her legs got heavier and her vision blurred. She wanted to stop. To stop running but something in her head made her run even quicker. Until the blurriness changed into darkness.

In mere seconds she saw nothing but black. The voices of the happy people that she had been listening to seemed miles away.

She stopped.
She fell.
Everything was black.
Fuck!

                                       LD

When she opened her eyes again she was in a white room. Her head hurt and her lips felt dry. It had happened again. It was her conclusion after she saw Teddy, her best friend outside the room, talking to a doctor.

The bright walls hurt her eyes, which was why she closed them again. Whatever Teddy was talking about with the doctor, Arizona did not liked it at all. The look on Teddy's face already promised her the talk she had tried to avoid ever since she collapsed the first time. This was her third time.

You should think that she learned her lesson. The first time happened six months ago. The second one happened four months ago. And Arizona had thought that it was getting better. It wasn't. Some days weren't as gray as others. On some days she could smile, could joke around and for once not put on a fake smile. But there were also dark days where she could try her best and still couldn't do anything. Anything but thinking of Emory. On her dark days she stayed in bed. Lost track of time and place, forgot to eat and drink. And sometimes she had her black days. This happened only twice so far. On her 'black days' as Teddy called them, she drank her bodyweight in Tequila, smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and ignored everyone and everything.

There was nothing that could lighten up her mood. Emory could have. But Emory wasn't here anymore. Emory left seven months ago.

"Oh, Robbins!" Teddy sighed as she sat down next to the hospital bed. She carefully took a pale hand in her own, cautious with the IV bag that was attached to Arizona's hand.

Teddy took a deep breath, her actions speaking louder than she'd want to. Teddy had noticed Arizona's behavior ever since Emory.

She had seen her before Emory, when Arizona was happy with her life, dancing to songs such as happy by Pharrell Williams. And she had seen her when Emory started to play a bigger part in Arizona's life. How happy Arizona was. Even more happy than before Emory.

And now Emory is gone. Arizona didn't danced at all anymore. She didn't put music or the TV. She didn't smiled. She wasn't happy.

Teddy carefully kissed the pale hand she was holding. She knew that Arizona was awake but needed a moment to herself. "Don't ever do this again." She whispered.

LD

The drive home was silent. Not even the radio was turned on. The only thing that was audible were some faint sobs coming from Arizona. Teddy sometimes reached over, holding Arizona's hand for comfort. The blonde gladly accepted it, squeezing it to let her know that she was thankful for her best friend.

"You missed my turn." Arizona said, her voice heavy. She looked over at Teddy, thinking that the dirty blonde would notice her mistake soon.

"I didn't. You're gonna stay at my place for some time. I had to promise this to the doctor."

"You have to promise this everytime. And yet we somehow always end up with me at my home talking to you the whole night." The last two times it had happened, Arizona convinced Teddy to let her stay at home alone. But only under the condition that they'd talk over the phone the night. Even if all they did where sleep.

But Teddy couldn't do that anymore. She was tired of having to worry about Arizona constantly. She loved her best friend dearly and didn't mind being her emergency contact. But if Arizona staying at Teddy's would make things easier, she'd do it. And right now it seemed like her best shot.

LD

The music slowed down.

Their dance reached its end.

It was barely past midnight but Arizona and Emory decided to keep practicing their dance. Together they had to dance to 'Someone like you' from Adele.

They ended their dance face to face, their hands on each other's shoulders as if they would want to push each other away. Their foreheads slowly touched, their eyes closed. The two women let their bodies melt together as if it was meant to be.

Arizona felt a tingly sensation in her stomach. She enjoyed every little second Emory would be as close to her like she was right now.

But way too soon the song reached its end. She slowly opened her blue eyes, only to be met with dark green orbs.

As she wanted to pull back to not make things awkward but was pulled into the other body. Emory smiled. Her freckles seemed to shine brighter, her smile wider. Emory slowly caressed the blondes cheek, her smile fading, her eyes landing on plump lips.

Arizona leaned in closer, taking a second for Emory to pull away if she'd want to. But nothing happened. Instead, Emory leaned in, letting their lips brush against each other's for the first time.

LD

Wiping away the tears that had fallen from her eyes, Arizona turned around ones again. It was barely half past two in the morning and for some reason she couldn't find sleep that night.

She stood up, leaving Teddy's guestroom to go to the bathroom. Nausea overcame her and she barely made it to the toilet before she emptied her stomach in it. She soon felt her hair being pulled back by protective arms. "Why are you up?" Teddy asked concerned.

"I wanted to see if you have any pills to help me sleep." Teddy kissed Arizona on the head.

"I don't have anything at home. But I'll get something tomorrow." And with that, Arizona let herself fall into Teddy's arms, needing the comfort of her best friend just for tonight.

AN// Pls vote and comment how you found the first chapter:)