The Great War || Loki

Chapter 30 - Loki

I felt her hand let go of mine. I felt her last breath. I felt her last heartbeat. When quiet took over inside her chest, something inside of me died too.

So, I screamed and weeped at the top of my lungs. I didn't care who'd see or listen anymore. Quiet has taken over around us. The battle has stopped and deadly silence has taken over the field.

And the sunny day there was only a minute ago has turned into night, like the sun has been covered; overshadowed.

I hold Selene in my arms, with my face buried in her neck. I refuse to let go even in the slightest. She still feels like my Selene. She can't be gone. She still looks like my Selene. She still smells like my Selene. But the stillness I feel from inside her chest as I am holding her haunts me. I am waiting for one more beat of her heart, but it never comes.

My throat hurts from screaming. My eyes sting from the tears. My face burns. My heart has been ripped out of my breasts, I can hardly breathe. I can't control myself. My whole body aches. I have never before experienced such pain.

"Let's go, Loki" Thor's voice breaks the silence as he approaches.

I look up and all my pain has turned into rage in a second. He detects my anger and takes a step back.

I choose to ignore him and I turn all my focus back to Selene. I rest her head on my lap and I see how her skin has already lost its color.

More tears form in my eyes and sobs climb up my throat. I rise a shaking hand and I caress her cheek as soft as a feather would, like she is the most fragile thing in the world. As gently, I brush my fingers through her silver silky hair and I stare at her face memorizing every detail. Every second that passes I hope her eyelids will open and her beautiful and her captivating bright grey eyes will stare back at me.

But they never do. I will never stare into them again. I will never hear her voice again. I will never see her smile again. I will never hold her again.

I hear more steps approaching but I don't take my eyes away from Selene. If they are here to kill me, might as well.

With the corner of my eye, I catch the glimpse of my mother. She comes and kneels on the ground right in front of me. She keeps her hands on her lap, but her breathing tells me she is far from calm.

"Loki..." she speaks softly. I look at her for one second. One more tear rolls down my cheeks.

"I will fix this" I say

"You can't"

"No, I can. I will find a way. She is not..."

"She is, honey. Selene is gone".

"Only if I had seen Hyperion coming, she wouldn't have to-- This is my fault"

"Loki, let me ask you this; if it had been you who jumped in front of a blade for Selene, would you be mad at her or blame her?" she asks

"No"

"Exactly. So she isn't mad at you. She isn't blaming you. This isn't your fault. You need to remember that right now. I understand that it is hard. But it is time to let go now" she says

"No. No, I want to stay with her. She's here. I know she's here. She's not gone. She's just resting. She's not gone. She's here. My Selene is right here" I insist as I caress her cheek.

"I know it feels impossible, but you can do this, Loki. You can let go so she can rest"

I shake my head crying "I'm not ready. I don't want to let go"

"Let's do it together, alright? You can lift her head carefully from your lap..."

I follow her words, while trying to forget who I am letting go. However, that strategy doesn't work for long.

"I can't-- I can't do it. It hurts..." I sob as I hug her tightly again

"You can do it. This is for your and her good. Now, slowly loosen your grip, son..." she tells me.

As I loosen the embrace, I hold up her head, hating the feeling of how limp her body is. My mother helps me to lower Selene's torso to the ground carefully.

I keep my hands on her chest for a second longer. I lean down and I rest my forehead against hers.

"I love you..." I kiss her head one last time.

I close my eyes and pull away. I fight the urge to jump back on her and I force myself to step back.

"That's it, Loki. You did it" my mother tells me.

I take a couple more steps back. Soldiers from the other side come and get her body. They carry her away carefully.

I shouldn't be letting her family take her. Who knows if they are going to honor her? But I cannot intervene. I shouldn't...

I watch as they take the love of my life away from me, while wishing this is just a twisted nightmare. It's not...