Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

Kouyou Ozaki- Babysitting Sucks Kouyou

Warnings: Fluff, Child!Chuuya+Dazai Au!, No Ability!Au

Pronouns- Kouyou- (She/Her), (M/N)- (He/Him)

Gifts- Both-None

(M/N)'s POV:

I sat on my couch, watching some random show I couldn't give one fuck about when she texted me. 

Kouyou: Hey (L/N). Can you help me out?

Me: With what? 

Kouyou: Babysitting. I got stuck watching two assholes. I'm not kidding. Please help.

Me: What? lol okay text me the address. 

Kouyou: Thank you so much

Kouyou: Here. (random address)

Me: I'll be there in 10 mins

I laughed at my phone, throwing on a sweatshirt and pants that would be appropriate around little kids. 

Kouyou was a senior in high school just like me. Most boys my age are playing a sport, but unfortunately, I wasn't given any athletic genes, so I play guitar in a band. Kouyou actually introduced me to the band. She's the lead singer and bassist. Now we're closer than ever. And what fucking sucks is that I have a crush on her and I know she doesn't like me back. So I've decided to leave it behind, praying it would go away. 

But of course it hasn't gone away for the past FOUR years. Whatever...

I hopped into my car, turning on the vehicle, backing out of my driveway. I drove the noisy streets of Yokohama, ending up in a small neighborhood. I looked at each house number, stopping at the one Kouyou told me. I shut the car off, unbuckled and walked up to the front door, locking the car at the same time. 

"Hello?" I knocked on the wooden door, hearing little boys scream inside. 

I stood awkwardly until Kouyou opened the door, holding a small ginger kid, and brunette wrapped around her leg. 

"Help me." She yanked me inside, shutting the door behind me. 

"Hello mister. What's your name?" The ginger asked, pulling at my sweatpants slightly, the brunette cowering behind him. 

"I'm (L/N) (M/N). And who are you?" I bent down to meet his little height, smiling at him. 

"I'm Chuuya N-nakahara." He stuttered, putting his hands on his hips confidently. 

"Nice to meet you Chuuya. Who's your friend?" I pointed at the toddler behind him. 

"Dazai Othamu." He stumbled through his name with a lisp, pronouncing it incorrectly.

"No you idiot, it's Dazai Osamu." He punched the ginger's shoulder.

"Ohh." I chuckled.

"Ehh no hitting Dazai." Kouyou scolded, picking him up by the armpits. 

"PUT ME DOWN!!" He screamed and kicked against Kouyou's unwavering grip. 

"Osamu stop it. You won't get tweath (treats) if you're bad wemember." Chuuya spoke, looking up at his friend. 

I smiled. 

"Really?!" He looked at Kouyou, who just nodded, smiling slightly. 

"Oh. I'm sorry Miss Kouyou." He apologized, and I looked at her, blushing lightly. 

"It's okay Dazai, just don't do it again. Now do you guys want your snackies?" She asked, holding Dazai at her hip. 

"Yess!" They both shouted. 

"Okay." She laughed. 

"Uppies." Chuuya spoke, making a grabby motion with his small hands. 

"Alright, here we go." I lifted him off the ground with ease, following Kouyou into the kitchen, sitting Chuuya in his high chair that was next to Dazai's. 

They giggled about something, while I whispered to Kouyou.

"Are they always this energetic?" I chuckled, spreading jelly onto a piece of white bread.

"Yess. They're actually better now that you're here." She replied, putting a piece of ham onto the same type of bread.

"I don't know if I can do this again, Ozaki. Kids are scary." I shook my head dramatically. 

"You pussy." She whispered in my ear, putting the completed sandwich onto a red plastic plate for Dazai and the pb&j on a blue one for Chuuya.

"Hey!" I shouted jokingly, watching as she put the plates down in front of them. 

________________

"Oww Dazai! That hurts" I shouted out as his pudgy fingers yanked at my hair. 

"You're fine!" He shoots back, pulling harder. 

"Okay Dazai. That's enough! You're going to timeout." Kouyou grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him into the kitchen. 

"No. I'm sorry. Noo!" He kicked in his high chair. 

"Ehh. I'll get you in three minutes. Think about an apology okay?" She looked at him with a mom glare.

"Okay..."  He mumbled, looking down.

"Good." She walked back into the room, smiling as she watched me play cars with Chuuya.

"I'm kinda tired (M/N/N)." Chuuya yawned, practically collapsing in my lap. 

"Oh man. We should get you some sleep." I let out a breathy laugh, rubbing his soft hair. 

The boy passed out and I picked him up.

"Where's his bed?" I asked.

"No don't worry I've got him." She walked towards me, grabbing his limp body from my hands, fingers brushing mine. 

"O-okay." I blushed as she walked away. 

_________________

Four hours later it was 7:30 and the boys were put to sleep for the night and we were sat on the living room couch, watching a boring Netflix show.

"Uhmm thanks for today." Kouyou spoke softly, looking over at me, meeting my nervous (h/c) eyes.

"Sure. Never again though.Babysitting sucks Kouyou." I chuckled, staring at her.

"Yeah that's okay. But umm, I have something to say." She looks down at her hands, thumbs fiddling with each other. 

"What's up?" I smile at her, a light blush on my face and on hers.

"I-uhmm." She exhaled shakily. "I like you." She spoke quickly, she looked at me, eyes widened slightly. 

"Ohh." I exhaled, not processing the information.

"You don't like me, do you?" She whispered. 

"What no. I love you?" I shot back in a questioning tone.

"You love me?" Her voice is weak and small, a furious blush on her face. 

"Yes.." I sighed, meeting her eyes.

"Thank god. I was so nervous." She laughed with a shaky exhale, pulling me into a hug.

"You have nothing to be nervous about Ozaki." I spoke smoothly, kissing her cheek, hugging her tighter. 

"EWWW!" A young voice shouted.

"Dazai! What are you doing up?!" Kouyou jumped up, chasing him up the stairs.

"Haha!" 

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I hope you enjoyed this really shitty story with Kouyou. She's literally so gorgeous I just wanted to say. Like ughh. Sorry. Please stay safe and healthy! Have an awesome day/night and good luck to those who've started school! Love y'all 🧡

                   -Luna 😤