FINDING PEACE (Based on true story) PART- 1

Chapter-1 : Parental pressure

"Your friends scored well , why are you always behind?" - My mom screamed while cleaning the dishes.
I was quiet as I always used to be. Listening to my parents scolding and thinking about my existence. Some thoughts always ran inside my mind - "Why ain't my parents happy with me? Why do they always scold me? Why do they always demotivate me as if I am a burden to this world? Whyyy Lord whyy??" . My tears rolling down my cheeks , but I tried my best to cover it so that they couldn't see. After all the scolding and screaming from every side , I lost control of myself and went to the bedroom and locked myself up for some peace.

"Open the door! Don't be so lame, after all it's your mess for which we need to hear from your teachers . For your low grades your teacher tells us and we get humiliated in front of other parents" - My mom was still screaming at her top voice . Dad calmed my mom and told me to open the door and he even said that we won't blame you for your grades. Do good next time. I do hate my dad too because he was just cooking up words so that I can open the door. Still I was a 12 - year old kid so I opened the door and the next I got an utter beating from my dad and numerous taunts from my mother. That night I went to my bed and cried till my pillow got wet and I slept in regret thinking "why was I even born?"

As the years passed I got promoted to class 10th which is a crucial part for every kid but the taunts and demotivation doubled its speed but this time I decided not to listen to my parents and do my best till I prove them that I am worthy. My mom gave taunts to me in front of my relatives saying "If she gets rank like this I am sure she will fail the final exam." My inner thoughts grew more and started affecting my emotional status and mental peace . I used to get angry easily , I would cry easily , I wanted a good friend who would listen to my problems and solve it . I used to prepare for my final exams with just 2hrs of sleep and the day arrived when I started my exams ... Day by day, I excelled in writing my paper and ended it with a goodbye to my school friends.

After final exams (Result day)

This was the day I waited for ! It's the day when the authorities will announce my success or failure. My mother had zero hopes with me so she didn't even came by my side to see the result. I anxiously pulled my laptop and logged in to the website as the officials told that result will be declared soon.
*Shaking legs anxiously* I again checked my phone to see if my father texts me but he was busy with his office work. I told myself -"don't panic you have mahadev( Hindu lord) with you!" .
Suddenly a text popped saying THE RESULTS HAVE BEEN DECLARED!
I started to type my roll number and my name *simultaneously praying to Lord mahadev" I had my anxiety level at my peak but none of my family member was with me. It was just me! And I saw my desktop screen as the result showed "PASS WITH 76%" I was the happiest kid as I jumped out of joy to tell my mother . I told her that I passed with flying colors with 76% ,the first thing she asked was how much did your friends got? I said I don't know about them! She didn't react and went away to do her household chores. Still I was happy as I achieved this with some sleep sacrifices.

*My phone beeped*
"What's you score?"- my dad texted
"76% PASS" - I replied
"Congratulations 🎉" - dad replied
"Thank you dad" - I replied

I was worried about my mental health as my parents used to scold me for every single thing , they didn't liked if I meet my friends for just few hours. They restricted me for playing outside. They disconnected my tv connection and the worst part they even took my phone. So I was all alone doing house hold chores and sitting idle listening to my mother's taunts daily. I was mentally drained enough !

Few months later
I chose my stream as science with biology and
persued my high school. I ended my exams without my parents support by flying colors. Yet I still think am I worthy enough? Will I ever make my parents happy? I had many questions inside my mind but I had no one to share with!
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In next chapter you will know about one of my secret keeper I met in my university. So keep supporting me and give a like if you loved this chapter.
____________________________________________________Thank you for reading !
Sayonara :)