Sometimes we create our own heartbreak with expectations
My college days were going as usually in SHIT mode , additionally I had a psychopath roommate who would put up her earbuds and sing like she was Ariana Grande. With my 100% of frustration level I wander outside my room talking to my school mates and sharing my problems with them. I stayed outside late till 12am or more. I would also notice some girls laughing and chilling with their roomies but I usually wondered they might never contact each other after leaving this college.
Don't be astonished! That's what college friends are meant for
October 6 2018 (remember the date!)
It was around 2:10pm, some of my batchmates were missing but it was obvious that after lunch the number of students decrease lol. My class was way too noisy and I sat on the last seat as a backbencher. Suddenly, our faculty arrives but as she was in bad mood she stopped the attendance and took the list of absentees and told the students to call them and bring them to class immediately.
It was at this moment I replied to one of my batchmate who posted a reel on her insta handle-
"Come to class soon , faculty is searching for you"
She texted me back stating -" I was sleeping lol , Is the faculty too angry?"
I texted her back saying - "Yes, come to the lecture soon with a good excuse"
She texted me - "okay! I'm heading to lecture"As the conversation comes to end . Within 5 mins she came to the door of my lecture. This was the day when we started talking. The talks grew more and more . And at some point I felt like I can have her as my college bestfriend. I genuinely gave all my respect , love , humor ,care , togetherness, my childish behaviour,my mature behaviour. I showed every side of mine to her but as a successful person has said "some people might come and go in your life but the right one will stay"
I was pretty immature thinking that forever is such a good word ,I thought it as a big promise which can't be broken at any cost . I was a moron to think this way. The girl whom I believed as my big sister,my big supporter, my favourite person , my best friend of college her name was Kitty. We had good ,best ,better and worst memories too. The worst memory started when we both indulged in short fights and she didn't cared about how low I felt, but she was happy with the 3rd person who entered in between us. She would spend whole day with the 3rd person named Nandani . Kitty wouldn't even text back or meet me easily. I certainly gotta break out so hard. And that was the time when my senior named Chaiphile reached me out . We two vibed each other , shared our problems. Slowly I saw kitty disappearing from my life and I didn't even question her - generously I thought it was her choice to leave or stay but she chose to leave me!
Days passed by, we talked rarely as kitty was with Nandani and a guy named Ankit too. I started to get indulged with new group but didn't feel the same. Physically I was with a new group but mentally I was still with kitty enjoying and having fun being good friends.
My heart ached seeing them close being best friends. Seeing my best friend being someone else's bestfriend hurts like hell. But being a good person I never thought of acting worse to her . I noticed she was happy and vibing with them.I felt my heart throbbed and I wanted to know why she is ignoring me and why she left me in middle of the friendship bond?
What did she even think of me? Thinking all these stuffs I started addicted to alcohol and smoking. I started smoking reluctantly and repeatedly to relieve my pain . I started intake of my alcohol level. I had a small episode of anxiety attacks which I shared with my school best friend and no one else. My table turned when I went with my so called group to my neighbour University for a good coffee intake it was 11.02.2020, the worst day of my life ever!To be continued...
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In the next chapter you will know about the importance of 11.02.2020 ( A black day for me). So keep supporting me and give a like if you loved this chapter. Stay tuned!
____________________________________________________Thank you for reading !
Sayonara :)
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FINDING PEACE (Based on true story) PART- 1
Fiksi RemajaThis is a story of a girl from middle class family struggles to find her personal space . After she joins high school she struggles to find peace as she faces depression and panic attacks constantly. Finally, after achieving her goals she's still s...