Everyday it's a-gettin' closer - English Version

The Return - Nathanael

When he entered the bookshop, he knew exactly that no one would welcome him; nevertheless, Crowley felt a hint of disappointment rise within him. Since his last conversation with Aziraphale a few months ago, he had come again and again, despite everything. Why, Crowley did not know. Inwardly he had come to terms with the fact that he would never be favoured by Aziraphale. Heaven was more important. Prestige was more important. What they had, apparently, had only been special in Crowley's mind.

Though he knew it was absolute humbug, Crowley still thought he felt the warmth of the angel's lips on his. A beautiful and at the same time devilish feeling.

The bright yellow snake eyes grew dim and with a clearing of his throat, Crowley wiped tears from the corners of his eyes.

"How could I have been so stupid?" he asked himself, shaking his head. Again, the scenarios that had made him believe that the "us" had really existed caught up with him.

The teasing, the eye contact, the touching, the words spoken - the love. An obvious fallacy of his clouded mind. A conceit that could not have been more human. He was alone - he had always been alone. In his loneliness he had imagined he had formed a special bond with Aziraphale.

Like the dust that was gradually accumulating on the shelves, any feelings were building up in Crowley. Desperately he had tried ignorance, but the omnipresent pain drove him almost to despair. Moreover, he felt like nothing. A worthless nothing.

"Never thought demons could feel melancholy too! Even when you're ancient, you always seem to learn something new."

Crowley winced and turned around. Sitting on one of the carcasses was a young woman of average height, slim yet curvy figure, long brown hair braided into the narrow pigtails, clear brown-green eyes, soft make-up and modern clothes consisting of jeans, a shirt and a leather jacket.

Her feet, packed into heeled boots, hung loosely in the air, swaying back and forth. Her smile was cheeky, made clear by the dimples in her cheeks, and her eyes showed a great deal of knowledge, but also covered with a certain immaturity.

Crowley was quick to recognise the aura surrounding her and his fright soon turned to disgust. He wrinkled his nose and his chin immediately moved up several inches.

"Oh, the I-smell-an-angel-on-eternal-miles look; was wondering when that was coming! Long time no see. Kind of refreshing!" the woman remarked pointedly, which only increased Crowley's disgust. "If you were already wondering that, why are you even here?" he hissed like a spiteful snake and the woman raised her hands defensively.

"Hey, I come in peace," she grinned and jumped off the carcass. "You always say that and if anyone believes you, you stab them in the back with a knife!"

"Very clear metaphor, but it has a point," the woman agreed with Crowley, tucking her hands into her trouser pockets, "Mind you, I'm not like the others. I'm surprised your sense of smell hasn't picked up on that yet, again!"

Crowley didn't want to admit it in front of her, but she was right. Besides the typical, over-sweet angel scent, there was also the whiff of a human in the air.

Hidden in the depths of his memory, Crowley even thought he remembered such a combination. Through the mouth phone of the celestials, he had once heard that it was possible. By now, the office ghouls from upstairs actually had a good handle on masking the smell, but in the first attempts, it had been done very poorly.

"A human promoted to an angel," Crowley mused aloud, and the woman nodded.

"Exactly. And the prototype is standing before you right now!"

This suggestion caused Crowley to click. His eyes widened and an eyebrow went up.

"Nathanael?"

"In the flesh," the woman agreed, shrugging. "My current appearance is probably a little misleading. But I prefer to appear with this gender at the moment!"

"Be you allowed, live and let live, blah blah blah," Crowley hurried down quickly with a wave, "still, that doesn't explain why the first human to become an angel is standing here in a 'colleague's' bookstore talking to a demon!"

Nathanael bobbed his head back and forth.

"Are you trying to make fun of me too? That would suit you, after all. Keep rubbing salt into the wound so that it really hurts! That's what you've been doing the rounds and you're all sitting in your offices like little schoolgirls giggling your heads off!" nagged Crowley, immediately upset at his own reaction.

"Oh don't worry, that's not why I'm here!" said Nathaniel calmly, "On the contrary - I want to take the salt out of your wound, whereas the office comment did just hit me a bit! I'm in the field - I'm not one of those armchair farts."

Now it was Nathanael who had the disgust in her voice, much to Crowley's amazement.

"So?"

"Crowley," suddenly Nathanael's voice quietened and slipped down a few octaves, "What if I told you that all that's bothering you right now wasn't done on your own initiative, but was the part of a perfidious plan?"

Annoyed, the person addressed groaned and massaged his nasal bone. "Could it be any more cryptic?" he exhibited his tenseness and Nathanael took one deep breath.

"It would, but then I don't go that far. As I said, I am here to help you. But most of all, I am here to help Aziraphale."

At the mention of that name, Crowley's insides tightened noticeably again. The unhealthy mixture of anger, melancholy and sadness boiled up to his throat.

"What's there to help?" he growled between clenched teeth, "He's happy in his little kingdom of heaven. He has what he always wanted! Without me!"

Again, he could have slapped himself for his frank response.

"He hasn't," Nathanael replied briskly, "On the contrary! I don't know if you noticed in your rage, but take a good look at this place!"

Reluctantly, Crowley did as he was told. He tried to ignore the obscuring veil of his feelings and looked around. Only now, did he notice the overturned stacks of books, as well as the crazy furniture. It wasn't chaos, but it wasn't Aziraphale's order. In fact, it almost seemed as if someone had tried to cover up the mess.

"There was fighting here," he concluded, and now only one feeling took over his thoughts. Fear.

Immediately Crowley shot forward and grabbed Nathanael by the collar of her leather jacket. "He was here?!"

Unimpressed, Nathaniel nodded and pushed Crowley's hands away from her. "He was here," she confirmed, straightening her collar, "I overheard through the mouth phone. There's been an atmosphere up there ever since...a man's funeral is a joy-fest by comparison!"

Crowley's unease continued to intensify.

"Crowley, I fear that Aziraphale is being held against his will. I don't know what they're going to do to him, but I have a very bad feeling!"

Like a nervous animal, the demon began pacing back and forth. His eyes fixed on Nathanael.

"Suppose I believe all this," he began slowly, "Suppose I buy it! Then I have a question..." The woman addressed tilted her head expectantly.

"Why?"

"Well, even though I have spent the majority of years of my life so far as an angel...I am apparently still very human. And if there's one thing people in their right mind hate, it's injustice. Besides, I have a score to settle with a certain old freak who I suspect is behind all this. Moreover, I still owe Aziraphale one."