Everyday it's a-gettin' closer - English Version

The Return - What has happened

How long they remained in this constellation Crowley did not know. What he did know was that Nathanael seemed to be bursting inside. She kept silent and went about the task of bringing down Aziraphalea's fever, but the young angel kept looking out the window of the room against the sky and her hands clenched into fists. This was done with such force that both forearms trembled badly and the knuckles stood out white. When her fingernails finally dug so deeply into the skin that it cracked and bled, the demon had had enough.

"For the love of...!"

Crowley snorted, disengaged himself from Aziraphale as he was by now fast asleep, stood up, grabbed Nathanael and pulled her out of the room under her astonished eyes.

Only after Crowley had pulled the door shut behind him did Nathanael recover her words.

"Crowley, what the..."

"...let the hell out of there," the demon interrupted her immediately, "You're about to explode if you don't get that burden off your chest. Even a blind man can see that and I honestly don't really feel like having to take care of two angels!"

"That may be so," Nathanael retorted, "but I'm not a priority now!"

"Not that, you're absolutely right, but you just saved MY angel. It wasn't a shot in the dark - you were right about everything! However, there was also a hefty cannon shot against your beliefs. You saw something up there that shook you to the core. And if I judge you correctly, you've already seen a lot. So...!"

Caught, Nathanael pressed her lips together. She took a deep breath and again visibly fought tears.

"Listen," Crowley began in a softer voice now, "...you seem okay, little one, and I know how it feels to be left alone with a thousand questions and impressions. It sucks. However, you're not here alone. I'm here. Yes I am a demon, but I can also listen. At least that's what I was told once. And apparently a fact you seem to have grasped on your own, otherwise you wouldn't have come to me in the first place!"

Impressed by Crowley's little appeal to reason, Nathanael took a deep breath and then nodded.

"I gave them credit for a lot of things! A lot of things! I mean, turning me into an angel, the thing with the son of the top layer...trying to bring about a new Armageddon...but not that!" she broke her silence and Crowley could only agree with her. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Did you see it...or...?"

"No," Nathanael replied, "...I went upstairs as agreed, where the porter was already waiting for me. I should have noticed it there, but I took his nervous look as a clear sign that he knew he was about to help me commit an offence. He seemed to realise that he was actually helping to cover up a far worse one. I entered this "room" and noticed that it was even divided into two rooms...and I would have liked to turn back...everything was covered in blood and feathers..."

At the last part of her explanation, Nathanael's voice broke and her lips trembled.

"I didn't want to believe it at first, but then I heard a prayer. A prayer for understanding and for strength. I recognised the voice immediately and ran into the other room...where he lay...left like a roadkill..."

Nathanael stopped. Her head sank and like Crowley, she leaned against the wall. Ashamed, she put her hands to her face, but her quivering shoulders clearly betrayed her. Patiently, Crowley waited for her to regain her composure. Again, he swallowed his anger to the depths of his soul. She ran her hands through her hair and continued to speak:

"When I leaned down to him and asked if he still knew who I was, he nodded and wrapped himself right around me. At that moment I had simply acted and teleported us here. Since then, however, I could slap myself all the time. I have seen many things in my life. As a human, I'd seen the man I'd been following brutally nailed to a wooden cross...and then executed myself by the guys who'd done it to him...but...this is beyond anything."

"Yeah, you always think that you guys up there, the ones in charge of the good, act accordingly...when you're even worse amongst yourselves than we are down below!" commented Crowley rather dryly.

"Sounds like you speak from experience," Nathanael understood immediately. "You could say that!" After agreeing, Crowley let one of his wings of pitch-black feathers peek out. Instantly, Nathanael's eyes completely glazed over and her jaw dropped.

For although she was relatively young for an angel, she apparently knew exactly what a demon's actual wings, if it had any, looked like.

"Left alone with a thousand questions and impressions," she now realised, and with a sad smile Crowley nodded. "Bloody bastards!"

Now it was Crowley whose mouth fell wide open. "WOW!" he then laughed, "that's not proper, Miss Angel!"

"Hey, as a human being I was a man, a craftsman and came from a poor background. Even nearly 2,000 years as an angel can't change that!" she indicated and Crowley put a hand over his mouth to hide the further giggles.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, but spending over six thousand years with an angel who can hardly ever bring himself to utter a curse word is a bit unusual!" the demon justified herself and Nathanael had to agree with him with a nod.

"However," Crowley reflected, "do you regret what you have done? You can still go back! From my point of view, you've done the most important part with flying colours. You can still cover it up somehow."

One of Nathanael's eyebrows shot up instantly. "Of course not! On the contrary! I'm actually annoying myself that I didn't get to the bottom of this sooner!"

Satisfied, Crowley smiled. "Are you saying I'm going to be stuck with you for a while?"

"Meaning.", Nathanael confirmed, "First there is Aziraphale to look after and of course be there for him. After that, we have to find out exactly how this could have come about. Because I have the feeling that there is quite an ego act going on here. Michael may be strict, but nothing like this has ever happened before!"

"You speak my mind," Crowley agreed with her.

"I guarantee the old geezer has a hand in this. After all, he has the ultimate leverage in his hands!"

"The Book of Life!"

"Indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if he's up there walking around threatening lower-ranking angels with extermination if they don't help him. After all, the poor things don't know he's 'just' the Recorder."

"That, and the very thought that you yourself, or a loved one, can be extinguished, stirs up the panic!"

Nathanael nodded with a sigh. "Would scare me too," she had to admit to herself. "Why doesn't it, then?"

"Defiance, resistance, rebellious thoughts; they can be stronger than fear," she indicated to Crowley, "besides, this is about saving something that couldn't be purer. The love between two beings. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I'm still one of the foolish ones who believes in it!"

Besides the blush it brought to his face, Crowley shuddered at the same time because of the warm words. Disgusted, he stuck out his tongue. "Now you really sound like an angel!"

"I can let out another rant if that calms you down," Nathanael winked one eye and again, Crowley couldn't help grinning.

"No, but a glass of wine would be great," he added to his gesture. "Shall have," Nathaniel understood and was about to head for the kitchen when she was called again by Crowley, who was already standing at the door, holding the handle.

"For an angel...you seem to be really, pretty okay," he said then and Nathanael smiled. "So are you for a demon," she replied and walked down the hall.