Everyday it's a-gettin' closer - English Version

The Return - Ineffably

"Not for this," Crowley waved it off and squeezed Nathanael's hand once more in encouragement. "And how are you, Muriel?" asked Aziraphale gently when he noticed the young angel staring at a hole in the carpet, lost in thought.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, however, and as soon as she did, "Lately, a lot of things I had believed in so ironcladly...just..." She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. This gesture caused Crowley and Nathanael to look at each other briefly, stand up and while Crowley went back to Aziraphale, Nathanael took a seat on the small couch of the sitting area. Meanwhile, she gently took Muriel's hand.

"Muriel...it is best that you go back now, after all. I'm incredibly grateful for your help, but you shouldn't let yourself get further involved here," she advised her amicably.

"Nathanael is right,' Crowley agreed, 'really brave of you, Muriel. But you don't have to keep doing this to yourself!"

To everyone's surprise, however, Muriel shook her head. "But I can't!" she muttered, "I mean...that with Aziraphale...this message now from Metatron. And...these lies about you Crowley. They tried to sell me so many things as false that weren't false...I can't just pretend that nothing happened! I mean, we angels stand for good...and now it turns out we're even more toxic than all seven rings of hell? And then this talk of a new Second Coming...everything is to be wiped out? Humans are so great and interesting after all...what are they trying to prove?"

With a sigh, the remaining three looked at each other. They knew exactly how Muriel felt. Each of them could understand exactly what dilemma the most inexperienced of them all was now in. On top of that, Muriel was not of high rank. Unlike Aziraphale, Crowley or Nathanael, who could at least question things now and then, she was condemned to absolute obedience.

"Good question...", Aziraphale could only agree with her, "...one always thinks the ways of the authorities are inscrutable and unquestionable...but..." Without realising it, he placed a hand on his back as he did so and could clearly feel the burning stitches again. Moreover, images appeared in his mind's eye whose cruelty could not be described. Images of blades, red blood and torn feathers. Deep inside, Aziraphale could hear his own piercing scream, knowing full well that it had not been heard by anyone.

"Sorry..." he whispered briefly, got up without another word and disappeared through the door behind him into his bedroom.

Therefore he did not see how Crowley had only briefly looked at Nathanael in a hedging manner and the latter had nodded. In an instant, the demon had also been on his feet and was following his angel at a goose step.

Since the dizziness had caught up with him again, Aziraphale sat down on the edge of the bed and hid his face in his hands. He only heard Crowley pull the door of the room shut behind him before any, further sound disappeared under his sobs.

"Please forgive me, dearest! I should have just believed you! I should have listened to you! Instead, I kept looking for excuses and pushing you away from me..." he apologised, well aware that it was Crowley standing in the room.

"Angel..." sighed Crowley, whose heart grew infinitely heavy at the sight.

Normally, being right was a great feeling. But in this context it was even devastating.

Aziraphale's sorrow trumped everything.

"Six thousand years...over six thousand years you have tried to show me that not everything is as unfathomable as I thought...and I have ignored you. I'm so sorry...and I wanted to drag you back in there..."

Crowley slowly sat down next to Aziraphale and took one of his angel's hands.

"You really just wanted to act in the good thought again..." the demon began slowly, "as always. With you, everything always happens in a good spirit. Even when you are being manipulated by an old angel...even then...I might have been clearer too..."

"...You had made yourself clear enough!", Aziraphale interrupted Crowley, "See? Even now! You could demonise me, condemn me, send me to hell; but you don't. Even now as a demon, you are a far better angel than they ever were up there! And you were dropped! Just because you asked questions! I should have had your back then...I should have known what had been done to you...instead I justified everything with "The ways of the Lord are mysterious"...I was so naive..."

Aziraphale's grief turned to anger. The more he thought about it, the more it fuelled the fire that burned within him.

Crowley's words stuck in his throat after Aziraphale's announcement. All the things he had already worked out in his head to cheer his angel up were gone in one fell swoop.

It was the first time!

The first time someone had put him above the sky!

The first time someone saw what he was really thinking!

The first time Aziraphale had really seen him!

"Actually, it's not worth wasting any tears on these!", Aziraphale was annoyed with himself and as he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes he noticed that Crowley was really staring at him. Crowley himself, on the other hand, didn't seem to realise that a tear was now running down his cheek. "I...", he tried to say, but he didn't get any further. Overcome by his feelings, he gave Aziraphale a heartfelt kiss and put his arms around him. Aziraphale flinched briefly in shock and pain, but then let Crowley have his way. "Just please don't ever leave...don't leave Earth again...stay here. Stay with me!" whispered Crowley in a trembling voice and felt Aziraphale nod. "I will," he promised and returned the embrace. He didn't care at all about the pain in his back. It was the moment that counted. This was as open as the angel had ever seen his demon.

"Aziraphale...I..."

Crowley slowly broke away from the embrace and removed his sunglasses. His dim, yellow, snake-like eyes gazed deeply into the bluish Aziraphales, whose pupils were shaped like stars.

"...I love you..."

Aziraphales' mouth remained open. "I..." he managed to find the words again after a while and without forcing or effort, his lips formed into a soft smile. "I...love you too!" he blurted out and took Crowley's face in his hands before then resting his forehead on the demon's. "I'll never leave you again! Next time you try to manipulate me, be tougher! Just be the demon for once!"

The tons of weight on Crowley's heart, also discharged in a laugh and he placed his hands on Aziraphales.

"I will! I won't let you go!" he now vowed insistently, soaking up every millisecond of this moment. Gradually he realised that the feelings for Aziraphales had always been so strong, yet it had taken decades and two human women to make him realise it.

"Whatever is put in our way, we will overcome it my angel! And I swear to you, I will do everything to give you your wings back. No one shall take that dignity from you without punishment!"

"Crowley..."

"...no one!" clarified Crowley once more before placing his lips on Aziraphales.