Confusion (Tom Kaulitz)

In your arms

    Play the provided song for a better experience

A month flew by,I was feeling so happy that I started a new,fresh life. After Bill called me I didn't heard anything from him or the others. I honestly don't minded.

"So,how are you feeling today,Luna?" My therapist spoke up,snapping me out of my thoughts. This was my third appointment with her,I really didn't had another choice,I needed to talk to someone about my feelings and the past.

"I,uh..I'm a bit better.." I said with trembling voice. I sure was better but I still missed him.

"Okay,I see. Did you think about him in the past one week? And If so,how often?" she asked me with a sweet smile.

"Yes. Every day." I said a bit unsure. I wanted to trust this woman but it was really hard to trust anybody after what happened. I was diagnosed with severe depression and I needed to take a bunch of medication.

"Okay." She smiled. "And what are exactly these thoughts?" Gosh she spoke a lot. I was never a talkative person so these questions just added a plus on my now severe anxiety.

"I..I.." I started but couldn't finish. I didn't even know what were my thoughts. Sometimes when I think about him I want to kill him,to shot him dead in the head or strangle him..but other times I want to cuddle with him and just stay like that,I want him to touch me,to feel me and to give me protection.

"Okay Luna. That's enough for today. See you next Monday!" Dr. Casella said with the same annoying fake smile she always used. I got up and smiled at her,lightly waving goodbye.

"Goodbye!" I said and got out of the room so fast that she couldn't even reply. I sighed and walked to my car.

I never liked doctors,I had always a negative opinion about them after the incident that happened to my little sister. She was only 9,freshly diagnosed with heart disease and the sad part was that no doctor wanted to help her because we didn't had the money. I remember, I was so angry with all of them, I screamed at them in pain but to no use,instead I got arrested for a night. It was so digusting,doctors are supposed to save lifes. From that day on I never wanted to see antoher one of these crueless monsters but here I am. Going to theraphy.

"Mario,are you home?" I patiently waited for a response,Minato was supposed to land here tomorrow and we didn't even clean the house. It was a total mess,clothes everywhere and the sink was full of dishes.

No response. I rushed to his room and knocked. Seconds passed by and no sound was heard. I barged into is room,now angry with him but guess what. Mario was sleeping like a pig with his body spread out in the bed.

I yanked him out of bed,literally shouting at him.

"Go do the dishes you lazy pig!"

"What the fuck!" he shouted back clear annoyance on his face.

"Minato will be here in less than a day and did you saw how the house is looking? Pull yourself togehter!" I was so fed up with his laziness.

He just gave me a flat look and walked out of the room.

I started cleaning the house,first was my room,that was the easiest. My room was always clean,I was a pretty ordonated person what can I say. Just some vacuuming and dust erase and it was looking good.

The kitchen was left for Mario so I cleaned up the bathroom and the livingroom. By the time was 6PM we were ready with everything,the house was clean,it smelled like a home and the laundry was freshly washed.

We plopped down on the couch from exhaustion. I ordered some food and we ate in silence, not bothering each other while watching some silly cartoons on the TV. It felt nice to finally do something useful, not just sleeping all day, working all day or making some food. Sometimes we went out of the house, like going to museums or shopping but this was rare, as our work programmes did not run at the same time.