Confusion (Tom Kaulitz)

Break Away

August 2 2010

It was a 10 hour flight till we landed suscessfully in Rome. This was my absolute first time being here and as I stepped on the Roman Empire I instantly felt secure. Away from Tom and Tokyo,not that I don't like that city but the bad memories were so stuck in my head, I wanted to hit myself with a hammer to forget everything. All this Cartel life wasn't for me.

"Great! The taxi should be here soon,ready to see our new house?" Mario was so excited and jumped up and down clapping his hands together.

I chuckled. "Yes!"

The taxi arrived,we hopped in and soon we were on the road of the beautiful big city.

"This is so beautiful!" I admired the monumental places and the big sculptures of the city.

"It is." Mario said.

Soon we came to an end and Mario payed the driver. We got out with our luggages and in front of me was a beautiful house,not too big with a large yard full of flowers and garden decorations.

"Is this our new house?" I asked Mario clear excitement in my voice.

"Of course." He replied with a big grin ear to ear.

I jumped to hug him tight. Who wants a boyfriend when you have a gay besfriend like Mario?

"You are the best!" I whispered in his ear.

"I know." He said and broke the hug. He smirked and started walking towards the front door of the house.

I followed and he unlocked the door,we got in and the house was beautiful and cozy,just how I liked it. Mario walked me around the house,showing me every room and door,then he walked me to my room. I opened the door and the room was the perfect size with a big closet,a big double bed and big windows that showed to the city and road. "This is perfect." I stated to myself. It really was perfect,away from the nightmare I was living.

Tom's POV

  I just sat on the side of the bed with my hands buried in my face. She really escaped. She really went to Rome.All this time I knew everything,everything she talked with Mario,everything she did and thought. When I kidnapped her I told Bill to install cameras all around in the apartment. I watched her the whole time. I didn't wanted to go and kidnap her again,I just waited. And she really moved away. A part of me was happy for her, I was a monster with her,and not only,but the other part felt broken. I couldn't give her the love she deserved and I couldn't protect her enough. This was my pain of love. The pain I caused to her and myself. To be honest for everyone,Bill missed her so much, the boys were disappointed and Mario surely hated me with all his heart that he bought tickets in the same day Luna got home.

I wanted to give Luna space before I go to see her. I didn't wanted to kidnap her or force her to come back with me,I needed to apologise and show her how much I love her and care for her.But this wasn't easy.

Throwback to 2008

August 1 2008 Germany

This was the day when I got in this Mafia life. It was a sunny morning, my mom was making pancakes and my dad was at work. Our life was quite normal, dad worked in construction and mom was a housewife.Me and Bill were in bed playing videogames when dad barged in our room.

"Pack! Quickly! We need to move!" he shouted,angry tears rolling down his face. This was the first time me and my twin brother saw him cry. He instantly got up from bed and started packing. This was confusing,why did we have to move? And why was dad crying? A lot of questions played in my head as Bill started speaking.