Vigilante Shit

Be Gay Do Crimes (but not drugs)

Yoongi left the huge pinboard which had more than fifty different ideas for dates to settle on the couch with his fifth glass of wine. 

"How was dinner with the kids today?" 

He heard Namjoon sigh on the other side and immediately knew it wasn't a pleasant one. "So, it wasn't good?" 

"It was good but… that girl is.. traumatized. She held me and cried 'because I reminded her of her parents. For fuck's sake, those people– do they even like their kids? They didn't even stay back to listen that everything that happened was out of her consent!" 

Yoongi's eyebrows furrowed. "Wait. She's…" 

"Yeah."

Yoongi closed his eyes. "Fuck." 

"Yoongi-ssi, are you good at hacking?"

He didn't understand where Namjoon was going with these. "Yes, I guess. I mean, I'm definitely almost the best in the country." 

"Great. So, if I tell you his name and send you his pictures and social media, do you think you can figure something out?"

"That's like ten different shades of illegal and it would be morally wrong if I don't defy the system. Might take me the night but fret not, babe. You can kiss it better."

"Aren't you so confident?"

"One kiss, Namjoonie? C'mon, I'm risking my reputation here. The least you can do is give me a good kiss on the lips for merit."

Namjoon laughed loudly on the other side and damn. Yoongi was fucking whipped. His heart thundered like he banged at least four rounds back to back. "Blow my mind before I blow your dick– oh don't make that sound! You think that eggplant emoji when you say it's hot outside is just you grocery shopping?"

"Fuck, Namjoon! I'm in my lab!" Yoongi whisper-yelled, the smirk in his face growing more prominent. 

"And? Is this turning you on?" Namjoon said, his voice low. And Yoongi can already imagine that cocky smile. 

"Don't test me, sweetheart. I know what you're playing, right now. I can fly to your bedroom in my suit right this minute." 

"Like I said. Blow my mind before I blow your dick. Also, Minji's at home and you know the rule." 

"Yeah," he sighed. "That twerp got me deprived of my boyfriend. I would've been her dad and your husband already if that kid had more friends to hang out with." 

"You wouldn't have met me if she had more friends to hangout with, playboy. You think I don't know how you guys conspire? My senses are sharp, Iron Man."

"Sexy," Yoongi groaned. "Do your senses tell you to accept the invitation of a second date to the aquarium?"

"My senses are telling me to accept only when a certain Mr. Min agrees to accept the request of Kim Minji to come to the talent show at her school."

"Ooh, exciting. I have a meeting with the ultimate boss Bang that day but I'll be there on time. Does that work?" 

"Fabulous. You just guaranteed yourself a second date."

"Tell that twerp to practice well and win that competition or I'll burn the judges' table."

"Spicy. I love hearing things like that," Namjoon said, amusement clear in his voice. 

"You like arson? Wow, gotta keep you away from Hobi. His arrows burn up things."

"Wow, Hobi… Isn't he Hawkeye?"