ALL OR NOTHING~ Dalton Lambert

CANNOT BE SATISFIED?(YET)

The best 'coping' mechanism Shiloh could ever resolve to when something bad happened to her or around her, was avoidance. She had been avoiding Dalton as much as she could, it disturbed her how well she had slept that night considering everything that had happened. Yet she still managed to wake up extra early and go for a run before everyone else was awake, she got ready in quiet and got ready quickly. Leaving before Ezi could say much to her, and so when Dalton started banging on the door to her dorm, she wasn't there to answer.

"Chiaroscuro." her professor's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, the clicks of different photos flashed infront of her in the dark lit room. "The dance of light and shadow. An effect used not only to create volume and definition, but also a specific, unseen light source." Shiloh felt numb, the sound of professor Armagan clicking to the next slide felt like a poking sensation on her temples.
Shiloh could sense Dalton staring at her, "right. This is one of Goya's best. The negative space draws our eyes towards saturn. Does it represent darkness or some void?" she continued, Dalton's head slowly leaning to the right as he examined the photo.

Shiloh looked at it confused and somewhat disturbed but keeping a straight face. "Goya mastered it on the canvas, but family problems and health issues sent this once-revered court painter into a dark spiral, leading him to create this grisly portrait of a father devouring his son." Shiloh looked over at the boy beside her, eyes squinting as he began zoning out at the picture, she took this time to admire his side profile.
She looked closer at how his loose hair was almost going to fall in his face, watched his eyes studying the infamous painting, then how his head snapped to his right. At the sound of some charcoal being snapped in half, she watched his eyes moving quickly before steadying back at their professor.

"This balance between light and ark is what we're after." Professor Armagan continued, Shiloh picked at the nail polish on her nails, confused as to why Dalton seemed so on edge all of a sudden. "Get ready." he stumbled to his canvas, everyone quietly setting up their own areas, Shiloh moving oddly since her eyes, still plastered on Dalton.
"Your own experiences shape your artwork. Embrace them. Use them. Sink deep into the darkness of memory. Ten.." The countdown started, Dalton fidgeting with his brushes and Shiloh straightening her posture, "nine..." she watched his breathing slow down, watched how his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, going deeper into his own world. "Eight..." Shiloh finally shook her shoulders and stood still, rolling her eyes while the lids covered them in darkness. "Seven, six..." she let out a long breath before inhaling sharply as the memories flooded her mind.

"Five...four...three..." shiloh was scared, she didn't enjoy this anymore, she didn't like somehow revisiting the past. Especially the parts that gave her nightmares as a teenager, the ones that got her into this class, the ones that were her inspiration. "Two..." Shiloh was just thirteen years old in this memory, so clear in front of her, reliving it in her mind. "One..." she was back at the lake house, thanksgiving break, just her and her sister's husband since everyone else went hunting in the cold mountains, and the haunting thoughts of the dead relatives that were there before her.
The Ones that kept certain rooms locked, the ones that made her hate this place. Her hand started moving quickly on the canvas, painting exactly how she saw it, the image of her hiding underneath the kitchen table with the long table cloth covering her. Hands covering her ears, trying to hide from the demons that were taunting her, as she felt hands pulling at her hair, her thin socks, her loose jeans, tugging at the sweater her older cousin Connie gave her only two days before.

She opened her eyes and moved quickly, not releasing her focus from the water colors. Shiloh felt tears graze her cheeks slowly but she continued and didn't stop until her hand began to cramp.
She hadn't even realized Dalton had snapped out of a memory of his own, sweat trickling down his neck as he looked around the room in fear, looking for any sort of comfort.
His jaw trembling and eyes moving all around before settling on the girl next to him. Deeply focused on her own art piece, but we watched her, amazed at her speed and concentration. He rested his palms against the easel in front of him, taking a deep breath and clenching his jaw, closing his eyes as an attempt to focus.

Shiloh rushed out of class, still shaken up over the memory from before, still making the hairs on her arms rise. She was so incredibly comfortable with herself, she hated feeling so scared of stuff like this, it took her years to get over herself and to cope with her childhood and still never got a clear answer.
Now she was starting to understand more and she felt weak. Shiloh felt like in the past few days she's had so many out-of-body experiences that she wanted to just get severely hit in the back of the head and forget every memory ever.
She took the painting out of class with her, deciding she'd finish it later, Shiloh was going through all sorts of racing thoughts when Dalton approached her.

"Shiloh," his voice was gruff and deeper than usual. "What was your memory?" he asked once she stopped walking, she wanted to roll her eyes but resisted. "An old one." she gave little context, not caring to explain herself right now. Dalton scoffed at her behavior, "you paint like i draw," he said quietly, looking at her trying to find any emotion besides annoyance.
She looked at him for a moment, sensing the tension between them and her gaze softened, moving her head in the direction of the building where their dorms awaited. They walked together in silence while people laughed and talked around them, "it isn't a good memory," Shiloh finally let out, "just something from a long time ago." She sighed, she didn't want to be telling him anything and yet she did, not knowing why.

He could tell something was bothering her, "so what's w-" he tried to ask, "I'm not satisfied okay!" she said eagerly, sending shivers down her back.
She didn't necessarily lie to Dalton per-say, she only told him half of the truth. She wasn't satisfied with her work today, she let loose and felt tears roll down her face, she showed vulnerability.
She couldn't finish the painting in class, and was not able to bring herself to add the details she wanted, she wasn't happy with herself as of that moment. "I'm not satisfied with my work, I let myself feel the weakness I felt in that memory." she scoffed and looked at the boy, who's brows were pinched together and staring intently at her. Watching her brown eyes scan his, how her facial expressions changed every other second, how she refused to look away.
"I can help satisfy you." Dalton thought out loud, still looking down at Shiloh, it took her a moment to snap back to reality and notice what he just said.

"Excuse me?" she asked, confused at his response, however she let her thoughts roam for a moment. "Oh shit, sorry. I mean like, I can help satisfy you with your art problem." He stumbled between his words, causing Shiloh to laugh softly.
"Okay, yeah!" she said, shrugging her shoulders, trying to hype up the idea. "yeah?" Dalton asked, Shiloh simply bit on her bottom lip nervously and nodded, both walking back to their dorms to drop off anything they carried out from Professor Armagans class.

Both Shiloh and Dalton had free time so she walked herself over to his dorm, knowing he would be alone since Ezi texted her letting her know she and Chris were grabbing coffee. She knocked two times, trying to to disturb him since she showed up without notice.
Dalton quickly swung the door open and the girl, now standing in front of him, smiled and waved at him. He gave her a warm smile before his phone began ringing in his pocket, he moved out of the doorway so Shiloh could enter, she stayed silent as he answered the call.
"Hey dude, can we talk?"