Secrets and Sins Part 2: Finding Mary

Chapter 15

~Lilith~

Out of all the things she could have said, Lilith was not expecting that. Ava looked as though she was barely holding back tears, breathing raggedly, the younger woman bit at the corner of her trembling bottom lip.

Lilith had known Beatrice for many years now, so as soon as the sister warrior had entered the apartment, the winged woman could tell something was up. Especially when Ava, who wore her emotions so openly, instantly tensed when she had heard Beatrice’s voice. Last time the former sister warrior had visited them, they had seemed so happy, sickeningly happy. Well, that was before Lilith had brought up the plan she had formulated to save Mary.
Ava was looking at her slightly desperately, like she was trying to dissuade the winged woman from continuing this line of questioning.

Lilith raised her eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest, she wasn't getting out of this that easily, "Go on."

Ava’s gaze bounced around their surroundings before returning to Lilith’s, she took a deep shuddering breath in before finally spitting it out.

"It's just I've put her through so much since I became Halo bearer, I can't do that to her anymore. I…I died Lilith!” Ava threw her hands up, frustration lacing her voice.
“And she…she…it nearly destroyed her. Every time I'm forced to run headfirst into the fight, every time I’m in danger, it chips away at her a little more.” She paused, breaking eye contact to look at the icy gravel of the lake bed, her posture defeated.
“She's crumbling because she loves me and doesn't want anything to happen to me. I can't…I can't put her through that, not again."

Lilith was quiet, absorbing the information. She was sympathetic for the Halo bearer, not that she would ever let Ava know that.

"Have you spoken to her about this? Given her a choice?" The winged woman kept her tone gentle.

Ava opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before bowing her head in shame as she realized the point Lilith was making.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

The Halo bearer snuffled a little bit, "I know." She whispered, to her boots.

"Look, I don’t know what you said to her, but you need to apologize and talk to her about it like she's your partner, because she is right? You still want her to be?"

Ava watery eyes lifted back to her own, she looked distraught, "Of course I do. But what if she doesn't want to be anymore? I said…I said horrible things to her."

"She's stubborn as fuck and loves you fiercely, Ava. I don't even think you can change that."

Lilith hid a small smile at the hopeful expression that fluttered over the younger woman’s features.

"Here's what's going to happen. We are going to go back. I will give you both the latest intelligence I have and then I'm going to head to the OCS to discuss our options. Once I leave, you are going to get on your knees and grovel. Understood?"

Lilith watched as Ava processed what she had said. Suddenly the younger woman sprang forward hugging the winged woman tightly, despite Lilith's crossed arms awkwardly caught between them. The former sister warrior allowed it, but only for a moment.

"Thank you, Lilith." Ava mumbled into her shoulder.

"It's fine." She muttered in reply before pushing Ava away.
"That's enough, get off me."

The Halo bearer wiped at her cheeks, grinning teasingly at her, "I knew you liked me."

"Ugh. Don't start." She grabbed Ava’s wrist preparing to teleport them back to the apartment, but before she did, Lilith levelled the Halo bearer with a serious glare.
"Ava, if you ever do anything like this to Beatrice again. I will beat the ever-loving shit out of you." She warned.

Ava gulped but nodded, "I wouldn't expect anything less."

~Ava~

Bea was leaning against the wall beside the bedroom door waiting for them when they appeared back in the living room. The same wall that had needed to be repaired not long ago after the sister warrior had her pressed up against it, her head between the Halo bearer’s legs. Ava pushed the image away, now was not the time.

"I wanted to let you guys know that the second lead didn't go anywhere." Lilith announced briskly.

Ava could see Bea physically flinch at the news but the sister warrior stayed quiet.

"I'm going to the OCS to present the plan we discussed…" The former sister warrior glanced at the woman leaning against the wall, "...I know it's not ideal but it's our best shot."

Bea shrugged, Ava felt nauseated by the entire situation.

"Okay, well, I'll leave you to it." The winged woman stole a peek at the sister warrior once more before giving Ava a meaningful look.

She disappeared in a purple crack of power, leaving the two women alone in silence.

Their eyes met across the room. Ava inhaled ready to start her apology when Bea abruptly spun heading into their bedroom.

"Bea, wait." The younger woman managed to choke out, panic flaring as she stumbled forward.

The sister warrior turned back towards her, her face emotionless, "I'm getting ready for work Ava, I start soon."

Ava scrambled for something to say but all that came out was, "Oh. Okay."

Helplessly watching Bea shut the door so she had some privacy to get changed, Ava pulled out her phone scanning the roster the sister warrior had sent her at the start of the week. With an inward groan, Ava saw that the other woman was working from midday till late evening.

When am I supposed to get a chance to talk to her, to apologize?

"Patience Ava. I think you should take the time by yourself to work out what you are going to say. You’re not exactly great at articulating your feelings…"

Ava couldn’t argue with the relic about that, she didn’t have a great track record. She sat down heavily on the couch.

Ugh.

At that moment Bea emerged and Ava shot to her feet. The sister warrior looked at her curiously.

"Ah…" Ava started, realizing Bea was waiting for her to say something, "...have a good shift." She finished lamely.

Bea nodded, her expression still blank apart from the hint of confusion that the Halo bearer could pick out in her eyes.

Okay, maybe I should practise what I'm going to say…

"Told you so…"

~Beatrice~

"Did something happen between you and Ava?" Hans asked her bluntly.

Beatrice twitched a little, she had been so focused on counting bottles of wine and making notes on what to order that she hadn't heard the bar tender's approach.

"What. I. No." Beatrice fumbled with her words, was she that obvious?

Hans raised an eyebrow.

"Honestly Hans. We are fine." Beatrice was pleased with how confident she sounded.

Her friend searched her face for a moment.

"Okay. All I'm going to say is whatever it is, it's not worth the misery. Life is short." With that the moustached man left the store room.

Beatrice watched him leave, mulling over his words.

Life was short. Particularly the life of the Warrior Nun...


~

Beatrice unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment. Pleasant warmth emanated from the small fire burning away in the hearth, chasing the cold from the sister warrior’s body. Moving into the kitchen a plate covered with foil sat on the dining table, peeling back the silver layer. Beatrice smiled a little to see a roast meal from the local shop, her favorite to buy when it was her turn to choose on takeaway night.

So thats why the kitchen is still clean.

While her dinner reheated in the microwave, Beatrice peeked into the bedroom to see Ava sprawled messily on top of the bed, fully clothed, fast asleep.
The sister warrior sighed, creeping forward to throw the extra blanket folded at the end of the bed over the younger woman.

Hearing the beep of the microwave, Beatrice collected her tea and ate it alone at the table before making herself comfortable on the couch in front of the fire. She fell asleep listening to the pop and crackle of the burning logs.

~

A cry of pain roused her not long after she drifted off. Beatrice kept her eyes closed, listening to the silent apartment, waiting to see if it happened again. It didn't take long for quiet whimper from the bedroom reached her ears.

Ava.

Beatrice was very familiar with the sounds the Halo bearer made while having a nightmare. She lay staring at the ceiling for a moment, torn. With everything between them right now, she wasn't sure if it was acceptable for her to comfort the younger woman.

"No. Please."

The choked gasp was enough to push her to her feet. Beatrice tiptoed into the bedroom, frowning when she witnessed Ava thrashing in her sleep. Convincing herself that she was doing it to stop the other woman from losing control of the Halo, the sister warrior knelt beside the bed, gently taking Ava's hand.

"Ava." She whispered softly, rubbing her thumb over the other woman's knuckles.
"It's just a nightmare…you're okay."

A stressed whine answered her, Ava's head rolled towards her and illuminated by the moonlight, Beatrice could see the Halo bearer’s face twisted with a grimace, sweat beading on her forehead.

Bringing her other hand up, Beatrice cupped Ava’s cheek, "It's okay darling." She murmured soothingly, her heart aching. She hated seeing the woman she loved in pain.

With a shout of fear, Ava gasped, awakening suddenly and bolting upright, eyes wide with terror. Beatrice swiftly moved to frame her face with both hands, forcing the younger woman to look at her.

"Easy. Easy."

"Bea…" She breathed, her gaze raking across the sister warrior's face.

Beatrice saw something flicker in Ava’s eyes before she lurched forward to kiss her. The sister warrior froze for a moment, surprise paralyzing her and then pulled away, gently detaching the Halo bearer’s lips from her own.

"Ava…that's not…I don't think…" Beatrice whispered breathlessly, she was so confused and couldn't keep track of the rapid thoughts racing through her mind.

"Please Bea?" The younger woman interrupted her, desperation leaking into her tone.
"I was dead…again." She shuddered, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I just need to feel something…something good. To feel alive."

Beatrice considered the words as she stared into Ava’s golden ringed eyes. She could see the pain and the despair, it was clearly written all over the Halo bearer’s face.

"Okay."