𝘚𝘈𝘛𝘖𝘚𝘜𝘎𝘜 𝘖𝘕𝘌𝘚𝘏𝘖𝘛𝘚

𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨

𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵
𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘺𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 '𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨' 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘬𝘪
𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘫𝘰'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘷
______________

what do i do?

what do i do with this?

this feeling.

this loving feeling.

it just makes me feel alone.

yearning for more than just this.

this whole secret situation is just not working.

i want more.

you only show affection towards me when we're alone.

and in public,

you completely ignore me.

the only interaction we have is us slightly holding hands under the tables, or small talks, that's it.

and when we're not doing that, you're out there, talking to everyone but me.

we meet up in our dorms sometimes, kiss, maybe make out, or talk about the mission we just had.

you hold me close and say you need me, but never make eye contact, its like you don't mean it, and i know you don't, but there's a part of me who says you do.

its like you're just using me.

using me as a distraction from the shitty world that is the jujutsu world.

a distraction to get off when you need to.

you never really cared about the way i feel.

in fact, you never and will never care about my feelings.

im sick of this, this.. game.

im tired of staying up at night, hoping you will burst through that door and tell me to leave with you, leave to who knows where, but somewhere where you can love me normally.

but still with knowing how shitty this relationship is, my heart still stops at the sight of you.

my stomach still gives me butterflies at the way you talk, the way you laugh, and just everything about you.

it makes me want to die, honestly.

i can't bear this anymore, suguru.

i need you to tell me you love me.

tell me that you love me.

but it won't happen.

after all,

im just a plaything to you, aren't i?

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𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮 (𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮) 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘶 𝘣𝘤 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

𝘪𝘥𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 <3