wish list | daerin

❛ My You ❜

69 ; third person ✎ᝰ

"What are we?" The words circulate through the air like a sharp winter breeze. Mason tightens her grip on the wheel; hardly focused on the road.

"Oui." Mason replied absentmindedly.

Riley scratches the top of her head. "What?"

"Oui." Mason said once more.

"I don't get the correlation?" Riley stares at the girl in the driver's seat. "I'm confused..."

Mason shrugs her shoulders. "We. Oui. They sound the same." Her mind had wandered elsewhere; in fact it might even be on another planet; far from Earth; not here. "I'm sorry. That was absolute nonsense." She pulls into the drive way of her dormitory; where she and Mara now reside. "I think I'm just a little nervous."

Riley placed her hand over Mason's own. "You're hardly ever nervous these days. What's different this time?" She looked at Mason with a look of curiosity. "Have I done anything wrong?"

Mason doesn't hesitate to answer. "No. Absolutely not." She shook her head firmly. "I think that with everything going on lately..." She turns her engine off and sits back in her seat. "I've been terrified. I don't wanna sound crazy but..." Mason finds comfort in Riley's warmth. She looks down at their hands; intertwined; instinctively. "I don't want to lose you again." She answered.

Riley's gaze softened. "Why would you lose me?"

Mason looks out her car window. "I've spent countless sleepless nights thinking about us; just everything that we've been through. I can't help but look back on everything; good or bad. We managed to overcome some really bad days and even those petty arguments. We got past it."

Riley nods. "So what makes you so nervous?" She runs her thumb across the back of Mason's hand.

"I just keep thinking; overthinking about if we ever found ourselves in another bad spot in our relationship and I don't think I can lose you again. I don't want that to happen again..."

Mason had finally come to terms with her unspoken feelings; everything left unsaid; everything that she needed to say out loud. There was no doubt in her mind that the last few weeks had been surreal; that kiss more importantly so. It felt like a dizzy daydream; one she'd endlessly crave. That all seemed true to life; Mason had craved Riley immensely; yet even in her presence; the girl could not help but crave her even then.

It stood as an all consuming thought; desire; question and Mason knew that the answer was right there in front of her. More than friends; less than lovers; an all consuming need to put things together; to bring them back together.

Mara had been the first to say it. You need to tell her that you want things to go back to how they were before. That's what's keeping you up at night. You can't go another day not knowing what you are when you act like you're together when you're not. Mason felt her breath hitch the second she heard those words leave Mara's lips. Her best friend was right; though when is there ever a time where Kim Mara is wrong? She is right; completely.

Mason chews the inside of her cheek. "I love you. And that hasn't changed. I just keep thinking about how short life really is. I mean look..." She shook her head. "Mavis. I haven't been able to go a day without thinking about her too. I think about all the things I left unsaid. I hardly ever had the chance to tell her that I did love her and that I cared for her so deeply...but I let my pride get in the way. I made excuses. I would do anything to have been able to tell her that. And I know I can; when I visit; though it's not the same. I don't get to see the look in her eyes anymore when I say something I hardly ever do. I don't get to hug her or annoy her. I won't ever see her again. And I can't bear the thought that something could happen to either of us. I can't go on another night without telling you how I feel, Riley. No matter who I come across. No matter who I like or love. In the end, I belong to you. And I always have. And I can't live another second knowing that you're not mine. I need to know that you love me just the same. That you'll take me for all that I am; flaws and weaknesses; insecurities and fears. I need to know that it's still me. I need you to say it. I have never been so desperate. I know that a lot has happened between us. I know a lot has happened while we were apart and seeing other people. But I know that here in my heart...this is still wholly yours."

Riley sniffled softly; wiping her tears dry in the process. "Life is certainly short. And I won't say that I've felt okay lately because that would just be a ridiculous lie. I know that Mavis has taken a toll in you. Grieving is different for everyone. I've seen the way you look at the sky lately. You've always admired the sky; adored it wholeheartedly and loved it so. But I can see how different it is now; whenever you look up at the sky; there's that part of you that resonates with it a lot deeper now that you know she's up there watching over you and all the girls of course. You cherish everything around you. I remember how hard it was for me to watch you on our calls...you'd barely talk. You looked pale and thin. But now you look like you've bounced back from all those hardships." Riley continued. "Life will always be full of surprises; whether it be good or bad; life lately has shown us how important it is to cherish what we have and who we have. Life has shown me that it'll always be unexpected. I never would've thought that we'd reconnect after we broke up but now I'm in the passenger seat of your car having this conversation with you."

They laugh simultaneously.

"I want you to know that I feel the same way, Maisie. I need you to know that I'll always be in love with you. I need you to know that I'll accept your heart wholly; as you do mine. I need you to know that I have never stopped loving you. I'm happy that time has been on our side. Fate, maybe. But I'm back where I belong. I love you. And I'm home. I've come back home to you, Maisie. I'll always find my way back to you."