Ruthless

Chapter 34

Theo Point of View

"Hey baby" Ruth pops her head through the doorway of my hospital room. She's been sitting with me ever since I woke up. Hasn't left my side except for then the hospital staff kicked her out after curfew.

It's been three days since the accident. Three days that I've been here. Three days that no one has been able to find Shailene.

Everyone through Ruth was delusional when she tried explaining to them that Shai was with us in the car.

I had gone into what they said was shock and they said I had PTSD. They said Ruth was confused and the driver couldn't back us up because he had died on the scene.

Eventually the authorities got a hold of Shai's publicist Nicole and she told confirmed that Shai had in fact been with us.

They had been looking for her since.

They haven't been able to find her.

Ruth comes into the room closing the door behind her, a large bag on her shoulder. "I brought you fresh clothes. You ready to go home?"

I sigh. As long as I was here in this hospital I could pretend that everything was okay. I could pretend that I didn't have this child with Ruth, and I could pretend that I would see Shai when I got out.

Today is that day. They're discharging me. My injuries were mild, nothing tragic. A broken arm is the worst of it.

Ruth opens the bag and pulls out a black shirt. She comes over to me and helps me stand up. We take my hand out of the sling and I take off my hospital gown. She helps me manoeuver the shirt over my head.

When she takes out the jeans I know it's time to speak up.

"I can handle it from now on. Can you get my papers from reception?" It comes out more hoarse than I expected. Not surprising though, considering I haven't spoken in days.

She hesitates but nods eventually? And leaves the room.

I need to make this quick, she's fast at everything, I don't have a lot of time. I throw the jeans and white cardigan on quickly, not bothering to button it up.

I remembered yesterday that Shailene left me a note, she gave it to me right before the accident happened. I need to find that note.

I know I put it In one of my pockets but the nurses disposed of all my clothes when I got to the hospital.

I start looking around the room frantically.

Where the fuck could they have put them?

The white metal bin in the corner of the room grabs my attention. There!

I doubt it's there but it's my only option. I run over and start rummaging through, hoping that number one I don't accidentally stab myself on some used needle - an infection would really fuck things up even more right now. And number two, I wouldn't looks that sane of someone walked in on me.

I almost laugh out loud when I find the bloodied suit at the bottom of the bin.

Even happier when I reach inside the pocket and pull out the note.

It's here! I thought I'd never get the chance to read it. This could very possibly be the last shred of Shailene I'll ever get. She could be dead right now, she probably is. No one could last that long out on their own in the middle of nowhere.

She's probably dead.

I frown. Even the thought makes me want to cry and never stop.

When I see her body, I'll believe it.

I see Ruth coming back to the room with a cardboard folder on her hands. She's on the phone laughing.

Funny, that she could find humour at a time like this.

I try to run to the bathroom before she's inside but I fail.

"Ready?" She asks.

I need to read it now. If not now, I'll never get to do it. If I go home with it, Ruth's gonna find it. And it's my note. MINE.

The relationship Shailene and I share is special to me. I don't want Ruth knowing it.

"I need to go to the bathroom, then we can leave." I say.

She frowns. "Ugh, I'm already late for a-" she stops herself as if she was about to say something she'd regret.

She clears her throat. "For a thing. Can you not hold it in and just go at home? I don't have time"

Oh yeah I forgot. I'll be home alone. Her sister is coming to New York. I'll have to care for myself.

I need to read that note. She'll go through all my things as soon as I step in the doorway to our apartment.

"No I can't hold it in. I'll be quick." With that I walk into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. She can bitch all she wants, I don't care at this point.

I open the faucet and let the water run so she won't hear anything. I open the paper and start reading. I feel the words tearing at my heartstrings.

She scribbled it on some pink paper. Each letter precise, not messy. She wanted to get her point across.

I need to make this quick. Things were too confusing to begin with. We're from two different worlds - we don't even live in the same continent! Ruth is perfect for you. You may have chemistry with me, but you have history with her. 8 years is a long time. You wouldn't be with her if you didn't love her. You wouldn't be having a baby with her if you didn't love her. What we had was brief and fun but irrelevant. Its over- if theres anything to even declare over. Whatever we had was in the past. It's over now. I don't know how else to put it: stay away from me. From now on all the flirty talk and interaction needs to stop. Everything we do is only for the movies. Don't call me, don't text me. Be happy with Ruth. It's better this way. I wish you all the best. -Shailene

I don't accept this.

I read over and over hoping that maybe the words will change.

She couldn't have meant what she said.

Could she?

She wanted me to stay away.

Now she's dead and I can't even apologise.

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Ruth holds on to my hand as we leave the hospital. Too tight for my liking. She knows all the nurses are looking at us.

I feel stupid with her holding my suitcase. She insisted on carrying it.

I feel weak. Useless.

Which I am. Because I couldn't save her.

It's when we're near the exit that a doctor pushes me and Ruth against a wall to make room for what's coming through.

The paramedics rush through the entrance. One holding an oxygen tank and IV drip, two on the sides of the gurney, one on top of the patient performing CPR.

Even before I hear them, I know it's her. That brown hair, and pale face. Her eyes closed. Covered entirely in red.

Blood is a strange colour.

I only catch bits of what they're saying.

"Twenty three year old female....road accident...internal bleeding...critical.."

I can't stop looking at the cervical brace around her neck. She's too pale.

But she's here.

Someone yells at me to stay but I don't care.

I start running after them, chasing.

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I'll update when 70 different people comment. Thanks for reading.

(BTW if you dont like, dont read. your death threats are childish.)