Heated- a Bakugou x Fem Reader

Chapter Thirty-three: Your dumbass

          You'd be fine if he were mad, he's pushed you before. Maybe this is just karma for trying to have issues and not sharing them. Maybe you were trying to convince yourself you were doing the right thing. Maybe you were letting anxiety boss you around once again. Whatever it was, it took you down the hall to the stairs. You feel torn as you gaze down the dark stairwell, only lit by the streetlamp outside. Perhaps you should confront him after he's dealt with whatever it is he needs to. Yeah, that's what I'll do, it's okay there are things I don't need to know...

         You take a deep breath, managing to turn around and head back into the dorms. The kitchen stove light ebbing away at the heavy darkness of the room. As you stare into the light like a fixated moth, the main doors open quietly. You snap your head around seeing Midoriya and Katsuki walking through. Their faces seemed lighter than before as if they had worked things out after all. Well if you could call it that, sure they weren't saying anything to each other. However, the bandages wrapped around their arms, and Katsuki's accusing eyes caused you to question that thought. Midoriday quickly walks down the hall to his room, leaving Katsuki staring at you. Once again in the darkness of the room, nerves crushing you, you simply turn around and head towards your bedroom. You were too tired, too stressed, too annoyed by the conversation that never even happened. And for the first time since that old lady who lived next door brought a box of cookies over in condolences for your loss, you were able to simply walk away. Finding no need to even try to talk to him. He'd get upset, shout, ignore you, or sidestep your questions. If he wants to try fine, or he can leave. You could take it...right? 

          Your weak legs carried you to your bed before they gave out. Watching the bed as it grows closer until you crash into it. Taking in the scent of fresh laundry and the softness of the blanket. You lay there quietly, taking slow breaths as you slowly relax. Waiting for the numb to kick in, the numb that hit like a truck when your parents died, that lasted until Katsuki blew it away. As your thoughts slowly started to get the better of you a soft knock broke the silence. You roll your head to the side, half your face indented in the huge fluffy blankets.

"Who is it?"

Whoever it was, which you assumed to be Denki only knocked again. You let out your breath before pushing yourself up. You narrow your eyes at the door irritatedly.

"I'll talk in the morning Denki, I'm tired."

Once again the soft knock echos through the quiet room. You groan softly as you nearly drag yourself to the door. Placing your palm on the handle and turning the metallic knob. Throwing the door open not even registering who it was, you snap at them.

"You could have just ca-."

Before you could finish your scolding you were pushed against the door. Katsuki's red eyes gazing into yours fiercely. He pushes his lips on yours, kissing you hungrily. Welp, any resistance you might have had was out the window. But of course, that's how it always was with him. So as annoyed as you were, you kissed him back, biting his bottom lips roughly. He snickers softly as he pulls away, keeping his hands on either side of your head.

"I told you once I understood you. Sometimes I have to be patient and let you come to me. Yet I never reciprocated my expectations, what I wanted from you I never gave. Instead, I pulled away and let my shame hurt you. I'm sorry y/n, so fucking sorry."

You blink at him, stunned by his words, by his soft tone, by his sad eyes.

"I-what-uh, fuck you."

He smiles softly putting his head on your shoulder. 

"You're worth it y/n, worth being scared as hell, worth letting you see everything I am. Worth every bad day, every fight, every irritating glare, because I love you. And like hell I'd settle with you thinking that damn phone charger is who's visiting you in the middle of the night. I won't stand not being your number one, so please let me have the chance to at least be that much for you."

Why do your emotions always express themselves as tears? As the tears trailed down your cheeks and dripped off your cheeks, all you could do was smile.

"Well, I do owe you that much I suppose."

You speak teasingly as you desperately attempt to wipe the tears away. Katsuki chuckles softly as he pulls you into his chest.

"Damn straight you do, making me deal with your dumb ass."

"Says the one who was being a dumb ass." 

Katsuki takes a step back pulling you off the door and closing it softly. He hums softly as he picks you up effortlessly and carries you over to your bed. His lips find their way to the crook of your neck as he whispers.

"Well, I'm your dumbass."

You put your hand on his chest pushing away as he puts you on the bed. You look into his eyes sternly refusing to cave until you have your answers.

"What was wrong, why did you need to talk to Midoriya."

"Tsk."

He looks away trying to hide his frustration. You cross your arms, staring at him. 

"I was pissed, it seemed like he was always getting ahead of me. This stupid useless kid was always getting farther than I was."

You narrow your eyes at him, seeing through his false calmness.

"It's more than that."

Katsuki growls deeply as he snaps his head at you.

"I fucked up y/n, all I had to do was get away and I couldn't even do that. Instead, I put All Might at risk and sent him into retirement."

The pieces start to come together as you think of the conversation you had with him a few months ago. How his demeanour changed when you talked about how frustrated you were at the training camp. Come to think of it, that was the first time he lowered his guard. He related to you, how things went to shit and other people paid the price for your failures. 

"It's not your fault Katsuki-."

"You don't know that!"

"Fine, then I'm a mass murderer."

Katsuki narrows his eyes at you.

"If you think that All Might doing his job is your fault, then every person Dabi has killed since the training camp is on me. I had a clear shot at him while he was fighting Vlad. Could have taken him down, but my dumb ass was too fucking scared! This fucking patchwork psycho blew the fucking door down with the flames of hell and I lost my nerve. When I had the chance to make a difference, permitted to defend myself and others. What did I do?! I fucking hid behind a damn desk. And now he's out there hurting more people! Oh yeah, and that one time I saw him down the street from my fucking school! Could have done something then too, but no I hid once again because I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained since coming here!"

Katsuki blinks at you, stunned by your sudden outburst.

"You know how I kept myself from thinking like that? Dabi was a double, it wouldn't have fixed anything. And when I saw him again he was with someone else that could have been just as dangerous as him. So ask yourself Katsuki, did you do everything you possibly could have? Yes, yes you did and you know it. Things played out, and they did so out of your control. So stop blaming yourself for something as stupid as that, you dumbass!" 

Katsuki cracks a small smile, shaking his head slightly.

"Well, I guess all we can do now is get the chance to bring them down next time."

You puff your chest, nodding aggressively, feeling rather pleased with yourself.

"And we will."

***Author's Note***

Bit of a longer chapter as an apology for my absence. I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing with this story but I might make a second book. I have been fighting myself not to pit Aiko against Bakugou because it's an idea I've been entertaining for years. Of course, if you've read Faithful Encounter with the Unknown, you know Aiko wants it too XD. Anyyyyway until next time, hope you all have an amazing day/night.