Dunphy Household
Claire : Okay, your brother's lunch is packed, you're buying your own lunch. Luke, Alex, come on. Let's go!
Phil : Hurry up. Last chance for the summer handshake.
Luke : Dad?
Phil : Come on, we're only halfway done.
Luke : I need help. I was supposed to keep a journal all summer. It's due today.
Claire : Wow, first day of school, and you're already behind?
Luke : I'm dead.
Claire : All right, tell me how far you've gotten.
Luke : Okay. "June 21st -- found a stick."
Claire : Mm.
Luke : "June 22nd..." That's it.
Claire : That's it?
Luke : It was a really cool stick.
Phil : He's right. It looked like a snake.»»———- ———-««
Claire : Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough. Especially the first day of school.
Phil : From the minute we get up at 7:00 'til we drop them off at school, It is go, go, go.
Claire : I get up at 6:00.
Phil : I get up at 5:00.
Claire : Seriously, I get up at 6:00.
Phil : That's you? I thought we had a raccoon.»»———- ———-««
Pritchett Household
Gloria : I can't believe my little boy is going into the fifth grade. He used to hold my finger with his little hand and look at me with those big eyes. Oh, mi niño pequeño, Jay!
Jay : Yep, they grow up. Come on, Manny, let's get going!
Manny : How's my hair?
Jay : Hold on. What are you wearing there? That looks like an old christmas tree skirt.
Elena: Jay!...
Jay: [gives Elena a look]
Elena: Well I wasn't gonna say it..
Manny : It's a traditional Colombian poncho. I want my new classmates to know I'm proud of my heritage.
Gloria : Sí. I think you look very handsome, lindo.
Jay : Oh, really? Am I driving him to school, or is he gonna ride his burro?»»———- ———-««
Tucker-Pritchett Household
Cameron : * you are a cutie-pie, yes, you are! you are a cutie-pie * Are you still baby-proofing?
Mitchell : Everything we own is pointy. Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer?
Cameron : She is not Donna Summer. Clearly, she's Diana ross from the RCA years. How is daddy not seeing that?
Mitchell : I really thought you were done with this.
Cameron : I made no such promises.»»———- ———-««
Cameron : I guess I'm somewhat of a shutterbug, um, and my new favorite model, of course, is Lily. I just completed a series of photographs Of her dressed as various pop icons. Let's see, I've done, uh, Olivia Newton-John. I've done Madonna, the early years. Stevie Wonder.
Mitchell : Yeah, there are days when Lily has more costume changes than Cher.
Cameron : Cher! How could I forget Cher? That's embarrassing.
Mitchell : That's embarrassing?»»———- ———-««
Phil : Honey, you moving out?
Alex : Five more years. A little help here?
Claire : This is why we suggested the violin.
Alex : The cello is more in demand in university orchestras. Haley : You know what's not in demand?
Alex : Oh, what?
Haley : Girls who play in university orchestras.
Phil : Here, I'll help you carry it out to the curb.Claire : Phil, put on some pants.
Phil : Come on, this covers up more than my bathing suit.
Claire : Yeah, don't remind me. Haley, honey, don't forget the driving instructor is picking you up from school.
Haley : Can't he pick me up someplace else? I don't want kids at school thinking I'm dating a 40-year-old driving instructor who's not even cute.
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