Ephemeral

Hug Me

I woke up, expecting to see white – instead, it was a cold gray colors that covered the wall.

It seemed different to not see the color that I had constantly seen for so long...the color was the only thing that I could count on that wouldn't change, and now that it had, it left me nervous at not knowing what was about to happen. This was an interruption in the routine, and even the hissing monster in the white room was no longer here with me.

Sitting up, I looked around the bed I was on, running my hands up and down the blankets with a small smile. I had thoroughly enjoyed the texture of it. I liked the feel of it underneath my fingers – it felt soft and thick. Looking behind me, I could see a board that had looked strange. Taking my hand, I ran my fingers along it and felt a different type of material – it caused my finger tips to lightly itch when I rubbed it.

I removed my hand and rubbed my fingers before settling on taking one of the pillows that were placed around me and hugging it tightly in my arms. Rubbing my face against it, I wished that it could have been another person – they could have shared their warmness with me.

A knocking was at the door and it opened up to reveal the same man that took me from the white room.

"Good morning, Arianna," he spoke.

The words 'good' and 'morning' I understood, but that name that he spoke...I didn't recognize.

I tilted my head and pointed at myself in confusion, and the man chuckled as he placed his hands in his pockets. He walked inside of the room, and I watched as he did – I liked how people walked. It looked nice, and I wondered if that's what I looked like when I walked too –

"Yes, that's your name, baby," he said as he placed a hand up and lightly touched the top of my head. "Your name is Arianna Santiago – you're my wife," he sat down on the bed and ran his thumb against my cheek.

I blinked my eyes and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I wished I could remember the things that he was talking about, but it was leaving a blank, empty space inside of my memories. The man in front of me was essentially a stranger.

"My name is Rafael, your husband."

I blinked my eyes and then frowned as I looked down at the blankets that were still on top of me.

I didn't remember him.

Then again, I didn't even remember my own name.

"Can you speak, Arianna?" Rafael, the man, asked to me. I looked up at him and shook my head. "Oh, baby..." He said in concern, his eyes softening. "Can you at least give it a try?" He asked, removing his thumb from my face. He found one of my hands that had been hugging the pillow. He gripped my fingers gently in his, causing me to look down at his hand and then up at his face. "For me?" He asked while I opened my mouth to make a noise.

"Uh-ah..." I responded, though I couldn't make any of the words come out – not like he could. "I-Is-ah..." I kept trying and then closed my mouth and shook my head. Talking was hard for me, and I didn't know why. I knew what words meant but my lips refused to make any words. My eyes began to water at failing to talk and he pulled me into his chest, stroking my back gently with his hand.

"It's alright," he said. "I'll send in your doctor later to give you a full checkup."

He pulled away from me, and I was still holding he pillow. Realizing that I preferred the hug of another person instead of a pillow, I tossed it to the side and held my arms up towards him, gesturing for him to hug me again by waving my fingers in the air.

He stared at me for a few seconds and then smiled.

I want another one.

Give me another hug.