Secrets You Bleed

Long Overdue

I woke up with my head throbbing in unison with my heartbeat. Pain panged throughout my body and my stomach churned. But what's more alarming than anything was the warmth pressed against my body and the arm wrapped around my waist. Last night came flooding back piece by piece. it wasn't hard to figure out whose body spooned mine. I tried slowly moving my body the satin sheets softly rubbing against my skin at the movement. Apparently, Atlas felt it too as his arm tightened around my waist. "Don't leave," he grumbled. 

My face flushed red unable to comprehend what to do in this situation. My body was thoroughly exposed only my bra and underwear hiding my innocence. "Atlas, did we?" I ask embarrassed hoping I didnt lose the tiny fragments of memory that might have been the moment I lost my virginity. Atlas let out a low groan pulling me close. His breath hot on my neck. "did we what?" He says. I can feel the smirk on his face against the back of my neck. "Well.. you know," I say my face flushing. "No, I don't think I understand what you're asking. Can you explain it to me?" he says letting out a small laugh. "You're such a prick," I say trying to get out of his grip. "No, we didnt have sex. Though you practically begged me to." He says letting go of me and rolling onto his back. His shirtless body, finally in my view. I couldn't help but stare my heart beating out of my chest. I'd never been in a situation like this. Though I had always dreamed of situations like this, I had no idea how to deal with them. I couldn't bring myself to look away until I found his eyes boring into mine. 

"Like what you see darling?" He said smugly. I grabbed a pillow lobbing it into his face. "Shut up!" I yelled. "You're so cute when you're flustered." He whispered brushing a stray hair behind my ear. I've dreamed about a moment like this a million times, but not with Atlas. It was always Tristan, my best friend, the only person I've ever loved. He doesn't see me that way though, but Atlas does and apparently has for a long time. My heart panged a sadness washing over me. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He said sitting up "I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable. Im so sorry y/n" He said resting his hand on mine. "It's not you... I mean it is you, but it's not anything you've done wrong. God, I sound so stupid." He shook his head furiously. "No, If something is wrong please tell me. I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable." He said concerned washed over his eyes. 

"Atlas-I  I've loved Tristan for as long as I've known him. I try so hard to push away the feelings I have for him not only for our friendship but for my sake. I knew I'd have to be married eventually. Obviously, I didnt know it would be you, but Tristan didnt know any of this. He never pushed past the friendship boundary and it's clear to me after yesterday he never wanted to or will... And I guess it's just hard for me to accept that everything you're doing, everything you say; I wish he had said it to me. I wish he looked at me the way you do." Silence filled the room. "Sorry, that was a lot," I whispered. His brow furrowed and an expression I couldn't read loomed on his face.

"You're both oblivious." He laughed his hand running through his hair. A fire ignited in the pit of my stomach. A behavior that irrefutably turned me on. I stood up slipping on my black dress and looking around for my phone. I fought hard ignoring the desire swelling within me turning so as not to face the incredibly attractive man who clearly wouldn't say no to me if I asked. So I can't ask. Not now, not like this. Crap what happened to Tristan and Elliot last night. I start searching frantically for my phone—shit shit shit. I finally find it on the floor by the bottom of the bed. What happened last night?  I open my phone the notifications filling the screen.

80 missed calls from Tcrypt 

112 texts from Tcrypt

1 call from unknown number

1 text from unknown number

Now it's my turn to drag my hands through my hair. I let out a loud groan burying my face in my hands. "Hey, what's wrong?" Atlas asks. I throw him my phone and he seems to get the idea. "Oh..." he says seemingly understanding my frustration. "I should probably call him," I say taking back my phone and walking out of the room.