Blue

High

Casper's Perspective
He was shaking as he went into the bathroom. But he wasn't when he came out. He had a smile on his face and his eyes seemed...different. Kinda like they did when he was disassociating. He sits back down next to me and his body language is completely relaxed. My eyes go wide. He's... high. He's fucking high. He brought pills to my family's house?! Keep calm. Yell at him later.

Molly's phone rang. She turned off the alarm and Cliff got off the couch. He pat Molly on the head as he headed towards the bathroom. He brought her a pill bottle and a glass of water from the kitchen. She gave a polite "thank you" as she opened the bottle. My other siblings were chitchatting with Leo, but I wasn't paying attention. I was piecing things together.

Molly looked inside the bottle. She looked confused. "Huh," she said to Cliff, "I have 6 left."

"No, we counted. You have 9."

She hit him on the shoulder. "I can count, idiot. Look, there's 6."

Fuck. What did Leo do?

Molly scanned the room with her eyes and they landed on Leo. She brought Cliff close to her and whispered. Cliff called, "Hey, Leo? Could you meet me in the kitchen for a sec?"

Leo got up and walked tensely to the kitchen, following my oldest brother. I wish it was anyone but Cliff. He's the oldest, he's the one everyone else looks to. Even me. We all trust him to make good choices for the family. We're not coming back from this. Everything is about to explode.

Leo suddenly comes down the hallway at full speed, only stopping to open the front door. Everyone stares at him, confused. He's running. I run after him.

"Leo!" I yell.

"Leo, it's me! Please stop running!"

Leo looks behind him and jogs to a stop. I stop. The two of us are frozen. "Leo," I begin calmly, "it's okay. Let's go back and we can go home."

"You're mad at me."

Hell yes I am. "Leo, let's go back and we can talk. I have to talk to my family for a little bit, but you can wait in the car. Then we'll go home."

He nods and we start walking back. I unlock the car and he sits in the passenger seat. He watches me as I go back inside.

Everyone stares at me. Cliff and Percy have their arms crossed. Leah looks mad. Henry's smiling slightly, and when I shut the door behind me he shouts, "Finally! You fuck up instead of me!" He cackles.

"Henry. Not funny." Naima says quietly. She's never been a quiet person before.

Cliff tried to stay calm. "You brought a drug addict into our house?"

I shook the electricity away by shaking my hands. "I didn't know it was that bad. He's been clean since I've known him."

"But you knew he was addicted?" Molly asked.

I nod. "It's because of PTSD and living in an abusive household. I don't know much, but he was hurt. Beat. Badly."

"It's not your job to fix him." Leah stated.

"I know. But I do really like him. He's funny and teasing and really sweet. I enjoy his company, and we all know I'm not perfect either."

"That's different." Cliff says in a comforting tone.

"Is it?" I snap back.

"Okay," Cliff raises his voice slightly, "I think you should go home. We can call later and talk about it."

And so I walked away. I got into the car and Leo whispered, "I'm sorry."

I inhaled. "I know." I breathed out.

The car ride home was long and tense. Leo cried for about 10 minutes during hour 2. I stayed in reality. I focused on the street signs and the GPS, the turns of the road and the cows in the fields. Eventually, we pulled to a lot behind the mansion.

I look at my phone to see Chrissy had texted me back, "yeah, of course. What happened?"

I didn't text her back. I got out of the car and Leo followed suit. "Chrissy says you can sleep on their couch." I said coldly as I walked back into the mansion.

Leo let me go for a while, then followed. I didn't look back. I got to my room and laid down on the bed. The electricity buzzed up my arms and towards my chest. I let it happen. Nothing comes. I leave reality, finally. When I come back, it is even darker out. I had cut myself, and I put the blades back in the small jewelry box and hide it in my nightstand.

I bandage my shins up and lay back down. Sleep does not take me quickly.