Blue

Keep It Cool

Leo's Perspective
I try to keep it cool. When he got naked, he didn't have an ounce of hesitation. Maybe he decided beforehand that he was comfortable taking his shirt off in front of me. I did my best to ignore the dozens of thick scars covering his shoulders, arms, and back, but now it's all I can think about. It's like he didn't care that I saw them, which is probably a good thing. Then again, he was tired. He could've just done it without realizing.

I brush my hair and try to get the images of his scars out of my mind. I try to push down the anger. The fury directed at the man who did that to Casper. How could someone do that? I had to take some deep breaths to calm down. I got dressed and exited the bathroom.

Casper was dressed in a white button-up, sweater vest, and slacks. He was trying to button the cuff of his shirt. I walk up to him. "Need some help?"

"Oh, uh, sure." He says hesitantly.

He doesn't look at me as I button up the cuff, then I take his other hand and button up the two small buttons on that side. "You okay?" I ask him, because he's clearly not.

"Yeah, fine." He responds as I release his wrist.

"Casper." I say to let him know I can tell he's lying.

"What?" He says with a surprising amount of annoyance.

Alright, Plan B. I hold his face and gently kiss him. We kiss for a few seconds, before I pull away and say, "Your ass looks amazing in these pants."

He smiles and says "shut up" before kissing me again. He pulls away and I frown. "Don't pout, we can do whatever we want later. For now, I have a test to study for. I'll be back at 10. Go eat some breakfast with the Lavenders."

I roll my eyes dramatically. "Fine."

I use my crutches to get downstairs and sit down. I look around and see the Reds setting up the buffet. Eventually, the Lavenders make it downstairs. Link sits next to me. He seems out of it. He barely glances at me. There's an awkward silence as everyone stares at Link, then Adam says, "Good morning Leo. I'll get your breakfast for you, so you can rest your ankle. What do you want?"

He stands up, almost too eagerly. He wants to be helpful. And he wants away from Link. "Thanks, man. I'd love three pancakes and some syrup. Glass of apple juice if they aren't out."

He nods and walks away swiftly. Link sips his water and looks at no one. He's acting like he did when we lived back home. 'Shut down, shut out,' I used to call it. "Link? You alright?" I ask, knowing his answer.

"Yeah, fine." He mumbles.

Yep, he's thinking about home. Max and Luther look at me with hope that I can fix whatever's going on with Link. I don't want to tell them that he was like this for a decade. "Can you guys give us a minute?" I ask Max and Luther.

They nod and get out of their chairs. When they're out of earshot, I ask, "Which one are you focused on?"

"Percy. He said he loved us. I can't tell if he was lying or not." He mumbles and pokes at his food with his fork.

I think for a bit. "He wasn't lying. But I think he had just realized it. I'm thinking about Kellen, and his drawings."

"Oh shit, he did used to draw. I forgot about that." Link finally looks at me with a sad face.

"He was good, too. For a teen, at least. There's no way he's picked up a pencil in 12 years, but I wish he still did."

Link's sad face switches to anger. "Which one do you think Dad killed? Percy would send a message, but Kellen was hurt enough to be an easy target. Jack and Mario don't really know how to fight, like me. Killing Mario would put them all back in line, since he's Percy's favorite."

I flashed back to the day we ran. "There was a gun on the counter. Dad's gun was on the counter." I say as I recall the living room.

"Do you remember gunshots?" Link asked.

"No. But I don't remember much at all. It could've happened. One of them could be dead."

"Or all of them." Link sighs.

Link goes back to not talking or looking at me, and the Lavenders come back. They sit down and notice Link isn't any more chipper than before. Luther stares at me and I shrug. I chat with Max until 10 rolls around and Casper taps on my shoulder. I turn around and smile. I remember that I'm apologizing to his family soon, and I feel anxious. We head upstairs, and I feel the fog in my skull begin to spread. "I'm nervous."

Casper and I reach the room and he turns and holds both of my hands. "I know. A lot has happened, and it makes total sense that you're nervous. But this will be fine. It's gonna go great, I'm sure. Let's go inside, and I'll answer any questions you have."

I nod, and we go into our suite. We sit next to each other on the end of the bed. "How honest should I be? Like, what's a bad amount of talking about my family?" I ask.

"I would say... don't say anything that would put you in too bad of a light and only enough to answer their questions fully." Casper answered.

"Will all of them be asking questions?" I shift nervously.

The tapping in my skull begins. A dull ache in my head forms. A voice that whispers "Get high. Get high. Get high." over and over in my head begins speaking like an old friend.

Casper responds, "I imagine so. Are you comfortable telling them about your Percy?"

Tears begin forming in the corners of my eyes. My ankle hurts and my head hurts and my stomach hurts and all this would stop if only I had pills.

I need pills. I need them now. Now. Now!