Blue

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Leo's Perspective
I head to the Orange group's room. I let Casper go in ahead. He's pissed, and rightfully so. I feel like shit, but I make a promise to myself to not get high again today. Hopefully I don't get high again ever, for Casper's sake.

I knock on the door and Ethan answers it with a smile. "I heard. Come on in."

He opens the door for me and I step inside. The suite is nicely decorated and Merida and Chrissy sit on the bed reading. They look up when I come inside. "Wanna talk about it?" Chrissy asks.

"No." I decline.

Their couch is set up with a blanket and pillow. I pray that I don't get any nightmares. They all get into bed and fall asleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'm not good for Casper. Maybe I will be one day, but not yet. I need to get clean, I need to get better.

I fall asleep to the knowledge that I'm a failure.

Casper's Perspective
I do not sleep. But I'm not energized enough to do anything. I just lay there and think. It's just my luck, honestly. Everyone else here seems to be living the dream, but here I am after 3 years of waiting and now I don't think my soulmate is a good match. My soulmate. I know I'm in love with him, but on paper this relationship seems unhealthy. But then again, I'm messed up too. Beggars shouldn't be choosers. And I am in love with him. And I understand him. But I am so damn angry. He fucking stole pills from my sister who just had surgery. Surgery. And-

Someone opens my door. My heart lurches at the thought of it being Leo. But instead Ethan stomps into the room. "Get your fucking man. Right now."

He looks angrier than I've ever seen him. We run back to the Orange suite and I gasp. Leo holds Chrissy's arm straight and backwards behind her while she's doubled over. He could dislocate or break many things with a strong push. She looks up at us when we enter. "Don't freak out. It looks worse than it is." She says with a pained look on her face.

Ethan seethes. "Get him off of her and out of my room."

Merida sits on the bed looking afraid. I sigh. "I'll add you guys to the list of people he needs to apologize to."

I shift on my feet. "Okay, um, can you tell me what happened? I'm still trying to understand the different responses for the different ways he gets triggered."

"I'm not going to repeat the name he was saying because it was clearly a trigger, but I think it might have led to whatever happened at the family's house. He was saying a name and was all curled up so I tried to shake him awake."

I nod. I crouch down and look up into his eyes. "Leo. Leo, can you hear me?"

He doesn't make eye contact with me, just stares down at Chrissy. I hesitantly place a hand on his head and pet his hair. "Leo, it's Casper. Please let her go."

Leo's eyes shift slowly to look at me. Once we make eye contact, he immediately drops Chrissy, and she hits the floor. Ethan scoops her up and brings her back to the bed. Leo pants and wipes at his eyes. "Out!" Ethan shouts.

Leo flinches. I drag him out of the room and back into ours. I cross my arms. "Leo..."

"I know."

"Let's talk about this tomorrow. We can-"

"No." He cuts me off.

"What? You wanna just sweep this under the rug like you do with everything?"

"No." He looks at the floor.

"Then what's your plan?" I scowl at him.

"I'm not ready yet. For this. So I'm leaving." He looks back into my eyes.

"Leo. You can't. You can't just leave. Where would you even go?"

"I'm going home. I'll get a real job, then a shitty apartment, and eventually I should be a better man. Then I can come back. Then I can be with you."

I was shocked. "You can't go back to them."

"It's better than hurting you. And the people that you love. I can't do that anymore. I need to go back to the world I belong in. Hurting people and stealing drugs is kind of a big deal here. Not so much back home."

"Don't leave." I pleaded.

"What do you want me to do, Casper? I hurt your family, I hurt your friends, I hurt you! How can you not see that?!"

"I would never forgive myself if I let you go back there. I don't know what happened to you, but that 'world' made you angry and scared and bruised. You were hurt."

He grabs me and hugs me. I hug him back, nuzzling into his neck. He pulls away and kisses my forehead. I kiss his lips. But then he pulls back more. And he lets go. And he turns away.

"Leo?" Tears form in my eyes.

He doesn't look back as he leaves. I'm too tired to stop him, and I don't think I could if I tried. I go back to bed and lay down. I curl up and cry until the electricity comes and nothingness takes me.