I am the Fire

Chapter 16

3rd POV:
It was pretty late when Sodo opened up his doors and peeked into corridor and at the doors before him. He tried to listen is anybody inside. He took a deep breath and knocked quielty walking in right after that. Lillian was sleeping. He moved a chair closer to the bed and watched her. She knew he was here. She was a lightsleeper.
"I know you're here." She said without opening her eyes. He sighted.
"I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry." He said and lowed his head.
"Stop being sorry about everything." She slowly pulled her up to sit.
"We need to talk." Sodo said still not looking at her.
"True. Maybe this time we'll succeed and finish it." ShadowMoon said looking at her hands on the blanket.
"So, who's gonna start?" He asked.
"You can start." she said hoping that she'll find out at least why he ran from her last time.
"Fine." He looked at her and leaned into her. "You see, it's all about how I feel about you. I wanted to make sure you're ok, that you've got all you need. I know that you've got your story, I'm not pushing you to tell it, but I wanted to protect you from anything that could have happen and failed. I saw how you blossomed when we got here, even if it was for so short. When you started to feel sick the other day, I figured that it was my fault with me saying things which I probably shouldn't say." He stopped for a while. "I've never felt like that. I've never cared so much about anyone and that, I admit, scared me. But you were so cheerful that I coulnd't poison you with my darkness. And when doc said that it was because of the stress, your illness, I didn't want to cause more of it. And then girls said that you wanna quit." He stopped. Lillian looked at him and was trying to understand what he was saying. "Please, say something..." Sodo whispered.
"I don't wanna quit. I just don't know how I could stay with...with you running away from me. A...and during the tour." She said, still troubled with saying what her fear was.
"What do you mean by 'during the tour'? Please, Lillian, talk to me." He asked with that tone like begging for answers. She took a deep breath and said:
"You've been my idol from the moment I discoverd who you are. Or even earlier. When you were Dewdrop and that's it. Idol I looked up to. When we've first talk, I was really overhelmed that I got that once in a lifetime oportunity to make a dream come true. But I believe that was when you became real person and you were not only someone I worshipped, you were more than that. I admit, beginning was harsh, but it do not matter. I wanted to be close to you. I've felt good with you nearby. So good and safe. When we were in the forest I thought about being so close to you here and while touring and that you'll..." She hesitated. Should she say it? It's first time since ages when she was so honest in any conversation. Can she continue? What the Hell, she got that far, why not to say it all. "That you'll have every night another girl as you wish and I'll have to watch it and live with that. That's literally, torturing when you want to be the one who you're looking up to every night..." She said and slide down on her bed.
Sodo still wasn't sure he heard her correctly but when she slided on her bed he jumped feared that she fainted again. In a second he was on her bed holding her.
"No! Do not faint again!" He said like a pray and repeated that few times.
"I'm not going to faint. But you see now why I can't stay. I can't avoiding you and I couldn't bear that thought that you're with someone else almost behind the wall." She looked at his face so close to hers. Then again her eyes met her hands on the blanket. "So you see, any of this is not your fault. Not any argument or satanic stuff or whatever you imagined. It's my feelings which can't be fulfiled." Lillian ended up and turned her back on him. Meanwhile he backed off to his chair and tried to find any sense in her speech. And only one thing was making sense. He started laughing, hard. ShadowMoon shrinked in her sheets. Of course he was laughning, she was pathetic with that confession. Whatever, it'll be end soon.

"Oh, dear Satan...what have we done?" Sodo said when suddenly stopped laughing. He found her in those sheets and looked her in the eyes for few seconds. Than he leaned into her and said

"Don't you see that you're my Light and I am the Fire?"