Our Little Bit of Light

I don't like shirts anyway. Or scars.

Murphy had paraded Bellamy around his little paradise for what seemed like hours even though there wasn't really that much to show just one bedroom, a bathroom and some other random rooms. Eventually they'd made it back to the bedroom and Murphy sat on the bed lightly while Bellamy walked over to his bottle of liquor and poured himself a drink, only now noticing the shattered glass and alcohol leading a trail from the wall to the ground where it was obviously thrown. Taking a swig from his cup, he gestured at the wall then incorporated words into his question

"What happened here?"

Murphy looked up at him and shrugged remaining eye contact

"I Slipped"

He spoke without much emotion. Which just made Bellamy know that there was definitely a story there, but he wouldn't push him right now, he respected Murphy's privacy and as much as he really wanted to get to know Murphy he knew that he had a limit and he didn't feel like pushing it tonight even though he knew there would eventually be a time when he would push to far, because that was the kind of person he was, he was a person who would push for answers while Murphy is a boy who would close himself off hoping not to have to tell. Sighing heavily Murphy got of the bed walking out of the room. Puzzled Bellamy turned around the corner watching him walk down the hallway, then called after him

"Where are you going?"

Without turning his body Murphy yelled over his shoulder, sarcastically

"I'm going for a shower, want to join me?"

Then added more genuinely

"I'll be back in a minute"

Murphy took a left down the hall entering the bathroom were he could have almost cried with joy when he saw the large metal shower glistening, almost inviting him. He felt absolutely on top of the world until he realised that there was no way he could get his shirt of by himself, frowning he knew that he'd have to ask Bellamy to take his shirt off for him, he'd already humiliated himself enough by crying all over Bellamy before, now Bellamy would take of his shirt and be greeted with the constant reminder of how he failed all of his people while he was taken captive by the grounders. Bellamy would have a front row seat to see all of his disgusting scars that ripped up his torso, the wounds have healed but the scars would always remain the same another display of his weakness. He hung his head low realising there would be no way out of this it was either have Bellamy take his shirt off for him or not shower, he sighed again then called out defeated

"Hey Bellamy!"

"Yeah?" The older boy called back

"Could you come here?" He voice cracked slightly.

Answering Murphy, Bellamy all but sprinted to the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked not seeing a reason Murphy would call him into the small space.

"Yeah, it's um just, I-"

"What Murphy?" Bellamy asked as he stood in the door way watching Murphy fight for words.

"Could you please, uh take my shirt off?"
Murphy stuttered nervously, the bright pink shade returning to his cheeks, Bellamy could see he was nervous and shy about the situation, so he didn't tease just nodded and stepped forward to the wounded boy. Bellamy placed a hand against Murphy's shoulder even a feather light touch like this sent sparks flying through Bellamy, looking across into Murphy's eyes he silently asked for permission to remove his shirt, Murphy nodded his head ever so slightly, fear threaded in his expression, before he could stop himself Bellamy whispered

"What are you afraid of?"

He'd said it without even thinking, but this space was to intimate for lies, so Murphy answered

"You" Bellamy furrowed his brow at the stunning boy

"What you'll think of me" Murphy elaborated.

Bellamy had nothing else to say to that not really sure how to react he'd never seen Murphy like this before, so he started removing Murphy's shirt. he placed a hand on the rough fabric of Murphy's shirt and one under it placing a warm hand on Murphy's waist, Murphy shivered as Bellamy's hand connected with the scarred skin of his waist. Bellamy began to move his shirt up further revealing terribly scared abs, Bellamy gasped slightly he hadn't realised how badly the grounders had hurt him and at the time he didn't care, but he'd changed since then he cared now and it hurt him to see this person he cherished so torn and broken. He looked at Murphy's face his eyes were squeezed shut as Bellamy's hand just began exploring the scared plain of his body. He gently placed his other hand on Murphy's ribs, he could feel the boy breathing lightly, his eyes now open studying Bellamy's movements.He pushed the shirt up to the centre of Murphy's chest a carefully as he could, he attempted to not let his eyes wonder but he just couldn't control himself around Murphy.As Bellamy's eyes traveled to the extremely scarred stomach, so did his hand, he just laid it there for a few moments, like he wished he could heal him before whispering

"I did this to you"

a glimmer of tears shun in his eyes as he looked at Murphy, not able to look the teen in the eye. Murphy let a stray tear abandon his eye as he thought about it

"It was your fault that you threw me out, but you can't take blame for what those savages did to me when they wanted answers. that's on them it will always be on them. All of it."

Trying to mask his pain for the boy, Bellamy continued working on his shirt, resorting to ripping parts of it until finally, it dropped to the ground, Murphy stood there for a second shivering, feeling overly exposed as if he was standing completely naked. There was no reason for Bellamy to be there anymore but he just couldn't push himself to leave, he let a finger caress over Murphy's scars a whisper of a touch, Murphy shouldn't have liked that feeling so much but he did, so he just let Bellamy do whatever he was going to, to the younger boys body.

Bellamy pulled his hand back sharply, snapping out of his trance. Bellamy pulled his arm down, horrified that he'd done that to Murphy, what if Murphy was grossed out by him, what if he didn't want his hands near him at all? Terrifying thoughts like these flashed through Bellamy's mind as he started backing out of the bathroom

"I'll um, I'll let you shower and stuff now." Bellamy mumbled lamely running a hand through his hair as he left the bathroom.

What had he been doing? he just so badly wanted to help Murphy, But what was that? He knew he felt something towards the younger boy, but he'd always prided himself on being able to control his actions and emotions but it was Murphy that boy had a way of making Bellamy unravel, frustrated Bellamy walked back into the bedroom, grabbing his drink again, he sighed knowing that he could quite possibly have just destroyed his chances with The gorgeous broken one.

Murphy stood for a few moments listening as Bellamy's footsteps slowly faded away from the bathroom, what had just happened? He shook his head trying to clear his eyes from any left over tears, was he dreaming or did Bellamy really just run his hands over Murphy's scars not in disgust but in fascination and something else, he could have sworn he saw something hidden behind the tan boys eyes as he touched Murphy and that look of shock as he backed out of the bathroom, was he shocked at Murphy but just reacting late? Murphy didn't think so, but that would mean then he was shocked at himself, But for what?For touching Murphy? Honestly Murphy had no idea all he knew was that when Bellamy touched him he felt absolute electricity course through his entire being and deep down he knew he wasn't the only one who felt it.