Our Little Bit of Light

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Murphy stood up from the cold bedroom floor, with his idea set in his mind, but he couldn't deal with all of this Bellamy stuff right now, his was to emotionally exhausted to deal with many feelings right now, but he had made a promise to himself so he would, be more brave and try harder with Bellamy as hard as it was to admit that he was in love with the tan man. But right now wasn't the time for that sort of stuff. He walked back out into the kitchen, willing any and all courage he had to surface as he was about to face Bellamy after his outbreak. As his feet took his final steps entering the kitchen he realized how embarrassed he was about their nearly kiss.

 But as he look around the dim lit area he saw that Bellamy was not in the claustrophobic space.

"Fantastic" Murphy muttered under his breath as he recognized that he may have just scared away his one hope of redemption by not kissing him, this was confusing enough for Murphy, he had no idea what Bellamy must be going through.

He'd been walking for a while now he wasn't sure where he was going and honestly he didn't overly care, all he knew is that he had to escape that box that Murphy called home, he had to clear his head and truly think about what the fuck he was doing. But he didn't know if he should think, as stupid as that sounds Bellamy knew that thinking would lead to questioning and he didn't want to go down that path knowing he would surely fall into insanity if he questioned all of his decisions since he'd landed on this god forsaken planet. Especially now that he had found Murphy, at least one very important question would circle in his mind. Why couldn't he have manned up and told the others to fuck off, instead of kicking the box out from beneath Murphy and leaving him to die? And he couldn't afford to think about that, because he regretted it deeply, even though he knows if he was put back in that situation he would do the same thing, for the sake of his people, well that's what he wished he would do anyway but truly deep down in his heart he knew he could never purposefully betray Murphy again, it had cut him deeply pushing that box from beneath the teens feet as he watched him dangle in the air he felt like he was slowly slipping away, as if each second that passed by took another part of Bellamy's soul, he was so relieved when Murphy was cut down, not just because Murphy was safe but because with the death of that boy he knew he would have lost himself. Murphy made up part of him, part of his new existence on the ground and as hard as he tried he could never let that go. Because he had changed since he was plummeted from the star filled sky he deemed his first home and landed on the ground. He was no longer that noble guard/janitor from the arch, he was Bellamy Blake the king of the ground, and as much as he missed his old self sometimes, he couldn't ever imagine going back to that person and part of the reason he thought this was because of Murphy.

Lost in his own thought Bellamy hadn't even recognized that he'd come to the very boat he'd rowed here on but as his eyes did fix on it, he comprehended that he had a life changing decision to make. To stay with Murphy or to go back to his people. And honestly the Blake boy was more lost and confused than he'd ever been.

Of course he'd left why would he stay? His traitorous mind whispered as Murphy was trying not to even considering what life would be like now if Bellamy had left for good and he was very alone again. His pride would usually stop him from doing any such thing like this but he was going outside to see if the boy he loved was still on this island, a small amount of hope still simmered in him and he would kick himself later if he never checked to see if Bellamy was still here, if he could convince him to stay. He jogged out of his new-found home, letting the almost impossible to spot door click shut behind him, he continued running, until he was wheezing and out of breathe and spotted the figure of his love in the near distance next to a boat. He really was leaving. Catching his breathe again he walked the short distance to the older boy and stopped a few feet behind him. Murphy suddenly felt awfully pathetic, Bellamy probably didn't even want to be here in the first place, he was just listening to orders, he felt incredibly stupid at that moment but still couldn't resist asking the question that he needed to know the answer too.

So he had a decision to make, leave Murphy behind, evidently leaving part of himself, he knew he would slowly unravel and travel into insanity but he was needed by his people and doing this meant helping them, or he could stay here with Murphy, build himself up again and truly make himself happy. he tries to decide what he would do, when he hears that voice that could so easily make him break or be the very thing keeping him afloat, he turns and sees Murphy staring daggers into him.

"So you're leaving then?" He asked without emotion, which Bellamy now figured out is his tell that he is actually hiding something behind his words.

"I don't know" He looks up remaining eye contact with the boy and that seems to really piss him off.

"Oh, you don't know?" He mocks Bellamy shouting at him

"No I don't" Murphy laughs at this even though he obviously finds none of this very funny, not that Bellamy could say any different.

"Why are you laughing?" Bellamy asks as Murphy's laughing doesn't seem like it would ever be coming to a stop, but that question sure halted it

"Because that's a load of shit! You are leaving and you didn't even have the balls to tell me!" He continues yelling starting to get closer to Bellamy as he talks.

"I didn't tell you because you'd think I was betraying you and I never want to do that" he told Murphy. Now Murphy was completely in his face

"You ARE betraying me, every second you spend considering leaving me alone is betraying me and as much as you don't want to admit it Bellamy fucking Blake you will always betray someone, whether it be me or the others from the arch you will always hurt someone and there is not a single thing you can do to change that!" He burst out yelling finally coming to his limit and breaking.

Bellamy was shocked for a moment as he realized Murphy was right, he could never please everyone, but he knew how he could help this stunning boy in front of him.

"Fine" He said sternly 

"What?" Murphy didn't quite understand for a moment what Bellamy was implying

"I'll stay" he said, his voice not wavering for a second as he had made up his mind and revealed what he had always know he truly wanted to do.

So Bellamy made his decision, he would stay as he understood he wasn't just saving himself from sure insanity but also becoming the salvation for the beautiful creature standing before him. And deep down Bellamy knew that that was exactly what mattered most.

"Okay" Murphy agrees slightly breathless and shocked but a lot calmer now. Bellamy nods at him and Murphy backs off and starts walking towards his home, still completely shell shocked that he'd actually done it he'd convinced Bellamy Blake to stay, for him, the fact that he had agreed shocked Murphy even more, maybe he did want to be here after all, But no matter what the reason was for the curly haired male staying, there was only one thing that was certain in Murphy's mind: He was deeply and completely in love with Bellamy Blake.