Our Little Bit of Light

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Cold. Was the feeling on the outer of his body even though warmth spread through his core like wild fire. The warmth being the knowledge that Bellamy wanted him just as much as the long haired boy needed him and the cold: was just the actual temperature he realized because as he opened his eyes Bellamy was not in the bed, he wasn't even in the room.

 Suddenly he was panicked, what if that was a one time thing between them? What If Bellamy didn't even want him- Murphy cut of his own thoughts he would not think like this he was (despite popular belief) not stupid and he had to keep his wits, he couldn't just start to lose it every time he wasn't around Bellamy, Honestly that was just one level of desperate to low for Murphy and he couldn't stand to feel clingy especially to Bellamy. Restraining from calling out to the tan boy, Murphy rolled over and attempted to go to sleep again with no avail, so he just laid on his back staring at the ceiling. Just as Murphy was about to give up and go search for Bellamy the very man walked back into the bedroom and closed the door with his foot holding an array of items in his arms cradling them to his bare chest as he strode towards the bed and Murphy. Murphy looked up and was met with a shy smile, something not very common from Bellamy as he was all about pretending to be macho and keeping his hard façade in place, but he could lower his guard with Murphy at least a little, he could be himself or he could show some weakness without expecting to be attacked for it.

"What's this?" Murphy questioned eyeing the items that Bellamy had now laid on the bed

"Breakfast" Bellamy told as he moved up the bed closer to Murphy so they just weren't touching but could feel the heat radiating of each other.

"It's whiskey and crackers?" The blue eyed boy uttered amused

"Yeah it is, wanna glass?" Bellamy smirked, throwing Murphy the packet of crackers and pulling the whiskey and cups to himself

Murphy lifted his eyebrow without answering because the answer is obviously yes, Bellamy just chuckled and filled two cups, handing one cup filled with amber liquid to the under-age teen and taking a large gulp from the other. They sat in silence for a while eating crackers and drinking alcohol just enjoying this tiny piece of happiness they had somehow been granted. When the box was almost empty and the whiskey half drained Murphy couldn't stand the tranquil silence any longer moments without disturbance, without disaster just didn't make that much sense to him, he hated that he couldn't just enjoy this for what it was instead of worrying about ulterior motives the world was planning and he was kind of hoping in a sad, selfish way that Bellamy would be able to teach him to enjoy the things he believed he could never deserve. Because just sitting in an almost empty room eating and drinking with the boy he loved almost left him breathless in a way, he wondered what he did right to get this, he was pretty sure life couldn't ever get better. So when Bellamy's fingers brushed his and his hand curled around the others in a warm solid gesture, he thought he had died because this was surely heaven.

He looked across to Bellamy and his breath caught as dark eyes connected with light and the warmth of Bellamy's breathe tingled over Murphy's skin, mesmerizing him, making him freeze and want to close the short distance between their lips at the same time and luckily enough Bellamy felt the same way, lust pouring from his eyes as he licked his lips and looked to Murphy's, Murphy took a shallow tantalizing breathe and it pushed Bellamy over the edge, So he leaned forward and captured Murphy's lips in a soft but passionate kiss, neither fought for dominance in the others mouth as they deepened the kiss because they realized that they could co-exist both powerful, strong, different but they could still be equal, no one had to overpower the other, they were not each other's slave or king they were simply equal, no better than the other as they were both wicked, defeated boys enslaved by a world they didn't and would never truly understand, they were equal because they disturbed the silence and unbroken rules of the ground and there was no going back now they were far too deep and it was certain that they would be in this, the way they had both always wanted: together. They were two very different people there was no denying that but in the end the strength and absolute fortitude they shared allowed them to make it through this new cruel world, this intense power and determination of their minds set them apart from the others on the ground making them almost alone but at the same time always together. They were parallels, identically different, simply two sides of the same coin.

Bellamy slid his hands up Murphy's back leaving a warm trail over the white flesh there, Murphy stroked his hands around Bellamy's neck, they held each other tightly never once did either dare to let their lips leave the others. They gripped at each other desperately as they both knew that they could never find anyone that suited each other better, anyone as chaotic and perfect, they were each other's one and only beautiful disaster. And as messed up as that is, they knew it was what they both needed a perfect tragedy.

When they finally pulled apart to breathe, they realized they had been so caught up in each other they hadn't even heard the others get up, but in the now quiet room they could hear the obvious sounds of other people's foot steps and the squeaking of hinges as the other individuals opened doors in the kitchen in search of food. Murphy sighed knowing that them just being in his home was a bad idea, because it meant that either they wanted to stay or they wanted to take Bellamy back with them and if he was being realistic and maybe a bit to brutally honest Murphy knew that he couldn't stop Bellamy from leaving and becoming the leader he was meant to be, if that's what he chose to do, He just hoped that Bellamy would want Murphy to come with him and by the way He was looking at Murphy it seemed that leaving him behind was never even an option.