His Meaning (Enmu x Douma)

5. When I'm not around

It was incredibly hard for Douma to not get drunk at the party. (Because of course, some sneaky students had managed to bring alcoholic drinks to an official school event.)

And no, his irresponsibility and desire for fun and quick stimulation were not the reason for that. All that he knew was that he could not get drunk under any circumstances, because of what he was going to have after the party.

A date with Enmu.

Of course, it wasn't an actual date… Just a meeting to work on a school project together. But if Douma got lucky and none of Enmu's family members were in, it was going to be just the two of them…

Oh heavens. No words could describe how excited Douma was right now. He had been waiting for such an opportunity for ages, and when the geography teacher had assigned them to do a presentation together as a punishment, he had seen the perfect one coming. And now, his fantasies were finally coming true…

Douma had absolutely craved to get some alone time with Enmu. Not just to get to know him better and have his undivided attention, but also to clear a few things up. Enmu's behaviour in the recent days had confused Douma a bit, and since he always avoided him, he had had no opportunity to interrogate him.

It was really messing with Douma's brain. Enmu always seemed so desperate to shut him out, especially in that geography lesson. That of course, fueled Douma's fears. The fear of rejection. The fear of disappointment. The fear of being unwanted.

Did Enmu like him? Like in the same way that Douma liked him? With any other person, it would have been obvious and trivial. They were all quite easy to read for Douma.

But for some apparent reason, Enmu's feelings remained a mystery to him, because of his confusing behaviour: On the one hand, Enmu made it clear that he wanted Douma to stay out of his life, on the other hand, his evident adorable blush and the way he stuttered when Douma was around said something else.

It would have been easy to identify as typical tsundere behaviour if not for Enmu's seriousness and the upset impression that he was constantly giving off. To Douma, he didn't seem like the type to lie to himself or hide his feelings because of his pride.

But maybe, it were just Douma's own feelings that clouded his judgement. Because he actually felt something for Enmu, and his opinion of him was very important to Douma. He really didn't want to screw things up, and he prayed that Enmu would like him back. All the dumb people always liked Douma back, but when it came to Enmu, he suddenly started having insecurities about everything, especially himself and his emptiness…

But his doubts about his crush on Enmu weren't the only thing that was bothering Douma. He was still in fact incredibly concerned about Enmu's wellbeing, because of the still very evident cut on his hand.

When Douma had nonchalantly taken a seat next to Enmu during the advanced geography course lesson, he had gotten quite the good look at the wound. And the fact that it was an intentional cut had become clear judging by how deep and precise it was.

Enmu's desperate attempt to make Douma stop bothering him about it hadn't exactly made things better. Now, he was even more worried, wondering if someone at Enmu's home was harming him or if he had done this horrible thing to himself…

And yes, he was genuinely worried. The thought about that cut ate him out from the inside. Plus, he didn't know what was up, and if Enmu was okay.

All in all, there was so much stuff that confused Douma. But tonight, he was going to be able to clear all of this up. He was going to interrogate Enmu a bit and for once, he wasn't going to be able to escape. The 'geography project' was merely a perfect excuse for his true intentions.