His Meaning (Enmu x Douma)

9. He's running out the Door

Enmu awoke with a sharp pain in his back. In the half asleep state that he was in now, he had trouble getting a hold of his surroundings. But that didn't matter right now. He just wanted to continue sleeping...

He soon realized that that wasn't possible; he obviously wasn't tired anymore and the aching in his body was preventing him from falling asleep again as well. After a few minutes of tossing himself around the bed he couldn't keep his eyes shut anymore.

He was obviously at his house, in his room, inside his bed. So much was clear to him now. But why the hell did his body hurt like after an hour-long physical exercise? What had he done last night-

The memory hit him.

It was insane to think back to it.

He had slept with Douma.

Right now, it just seemed to be like a distant dream. Had it not been for the pain in his body, Enmu wouldn't have believed that it had happened at all. It was just way too absurd.

Had Douma really agreed to...? Douma?? The god whom he could never even come close to, and whose attention he did not deserve? The god he worshiped?

It was impossible.

But then, he remembered everything else. The pain... The realization that Douma was not who Enmu had thought he was... He quickly shooed the thought away.

Sitting up in his bed, he looked around. One question remained unanswered.. Where the hell was Douma?

Enmu couldn't see him anywhere in the room.

'Douma?', he asked into the silence with his still sleepy voice. Maybe Enmu was just blind...

But there was no answer. He took that as an indicator that Douma was in another room, using the toilet for example. On the other hand... Now, Enmu came to the realization that all of Douma's stuff was gone as well.

That was weird. He stood up, and tried to dismiss the doubts and confused thoughts that now crept into his mind. Douma was probably somewhere downstairs...

Then, he saw the piece of paper that was lying on the floor. It was so evidently placed that it was impossible to have been an accident. Enmu quickly picked it up, a bit scared of what was to expect..

He unfolded it, and examined it closely. There was a message written on it:

'Hey babygirl, sorry I had to leave early. My parents called me'

Enmu's face fell. Douma was gone.

It was obviously his handwriting, there was no use denying it. He stared at the piece of paper, unable to process what he had just read.

Then, it suddenly hit him.

Douma had lied to him.

The message was obviously an excuse. Douma had said that his parents were on a business trip. It was impossible that they had called him. Douma just had not been able to bear spend another minute with Enmu, after he had touched him the whole night.

He had apparently left in a rush. Had he had had an intent on coming back to Enmu, then he would have been more precise with his message, or at least tried to wake the other up before he left.

But as none of this was the case, Enmu started to understand that Douma had just wanted to leave as fast as possible. Understandable, considering how much time he had wasted on Enmu...

Slowly, it was all starting to fall together in his mind. Douma's promises of love and purpose had already seemed so foreign, undeserved and impossible to reach for him, and now it all made sense. It was because they had been nothing more than white lies.