He Still Doesnt Want Me(FanVersion)

21

"I refuse to accept you as my mate, Xavier," I whispered, the weight of those words heavy on my heart. Lying on the unforgiving hermit cot, I couldn't escape the relentless replay of yesterday's events, all while anticipating the anxiety of tonight.

These days I have been taking big decisions and acting upon it instantaneously without as much thinking about its impact on my mental and physical well-being. Well having said that, had I really thought through this, I wouldn't have landed myself in this suckfest to begin with.

Yesterday after I collected my fix from Connor (aka medicinal vials) I went up straight to find Alpha Xavier. After a bit of searching I found him sitting in the backyard and looking straight into the oblivion. I started marching towards him, my mess of a mental state made me to overlook another person strolling in the market, you've probably guessed it right, she was none other than goodness gracious Jenna.

As I was about to tap Xavier on his shoulder, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jenna stood in front of me in all her glory or maybe not. She looked disheveled for a change, her eyes were wet felt as if she had been crying for sometimes, clothes lacked the luster, she wasn't smelling of her usual jasmine scent. These things brought me a wicked sense of joy, seconds later I was furious and guilty of my thoughts.

She pulled me out of my thoughts by legit snapping on me, "What has brought you out here? We both apologized to you, and Xav, he is trying his level best to make this work, He-heck he is even ignoring me, whatever we did, that was wrong dammit, but for once when we are trying make everything right, why just why do you want to tarnish everything?"

Something inside me broke, her choice of words, or her snarkiness, I really don't know, I was filled with fury and distaste, "Are you really talking about trying "your" level-best?" the old naïve Ash would have been proud this jujitsu which pulled off, verbally tho. "Since day one, you both have caused nothing but pain, and Jenna you have always painted a picture perfect image about yourself, but are you tho?"

"To tell you the truth even after I moved in with Xavier, we have all been miserable and exhausted of the cold-war and melodrama going back and forth between us. I might be clueless about a lot of things but I am certainly not naïve about people's feeling towards someone. The way Xavier used to watch you during the trainings, his eye movement, his urge to protect you, I have seen it all"

Xavier tried to take me away from Jenna but I stopped him. "Hold on, let me complete. Both of you started ton of emotional damage games, which ruined other's lives, but enough is enough, I will end this game, I do not wish to partake in this drama anymore, my soul needs a break, even if Xavier accepts me as his mate, we will still be miserable. I am doing myself a favor by rejecting this bond. I Ash is rejecting Alpha Xavier as my mate"

As soon as I spoke those words, I saw incomprehensible tears in his eyes, he got up and walked away, leaving behind an utterly shocked Jenna and me behind.

Hail's Pov:

"Cameron is your mate?", "He was Hail, I rejected him for you-" I interjected him, "Wait, hold on! Cameron my bestie Jenna's brother is your mate? How? What? And you never cared to tell me about this until today? You have always maintained that mate shit is not for you, you are never meant to find someone, blah blah-" I was fuming with white rage. He opened and shut his mouth.

"What? You got nothing to say James? How can you be this selfish?" I questioned. "Hail, I love you, I have always wanted you nobody else, and on top of that I am straight, I don't wanna deal with all that-

"So you just have been ignoring Cameron all this while and fucking around with me? Okhy now it makes sense, why he Cam had lost charm from his eyes" I sat down and felt incredibly guilty and shameless, "James, we have both ruined a lot of people's lives, but that's it not anymore" I abruptly got up and started walking. "Hey! Hail, please wait, Let me complete, Hail-" his voice got lost somewhere in my guilt-filled mind. I was walking to make everything right once and for all.

Ash's Pov:

I was lying on my bed, thinking, overestimating, guilt-tripping, self-preaching, and going around compete North, South, East and West. "Scaredpup?" I jolted from my bed towards the source. He stood by the door, his countenance marked by an uncharacteristic stoicism, as if his usual exuberance had faded away. The sparkle in his eyes, which was once a constant presence, had dimmed.

"I-uh I was about to come find you myself Rave. I need to tell you something very important-", "Yeah sure go on". "Actually, uh I was speaking with Elder Connor about our situation" He gave me an intense stare, felt as if he was piercing through my soul, "I explained everything to him, and he suggested to.."

Raven cut me off before I could complete, "To perform a ritual, and get my wolf off you" he cracked a half-smile. But, I was shocked, guilty, and frozen to my spot. "How-did you?.." He smiled and spoke, "Elder explained everything to me, and since you are a Scaredypup wasn't expecting it to come from you, is it"

I walked towards him nervously, "I am extremely sorry Rave. I know you should have been the first person to know about this, but I-was so caught up in my own miserable world that this slipped off my mind"

He sighed and walked towards me, "Ash, will you be fine? I know you rejected Xavier today. Proud would be an understatement of a feeling I have for you. You've amazed me and finally gown some balls I see" I slightly punched him, "Ow, careful I might not go easier on you"

"But Ash on a serious note, you are putting your body and mind under extreme exhaustion going through all of this back to back. I am concerned about you" I smiled, "I know, but this is the only way Rave, I wanted to put an end to all of this and really truly heal" He pulled me towards a bear hug, "Ouch, Rave you are hurting me!", "Shutup! Puppy women kill for this body, and I am graciously offering a hug to you, consider yourself lucky woman"

I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, this defo seems to be my goofy best friend Raven. But almost instantly my mood plummeted thinking about the ritual, "Rave, are you truly okhy about this? I mean we don't have to do it this way you know, Elder also had other ideas-, also you said yesy without once thinking about your own goddamn health? Don't forget this ritual will make you physically weaker for days and also has after effects, it's just not-"

He embraced me even tighter, and then he uttered words that caught me completely off guard. "Ash, I... I love you."

-------------------------------The ENd--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello folks!

How have you been? Its been a while. But here we go, with new chapter. Loads of emotional turbulence and angst.
What do you think of this chapter? And what do you expect gonna happen in the upcoming chapters?

see ya soon!

Love,

Sam