Love Lives and Lies

Summer Before Sophomore Year- 1

Chapter 16

Being back home sucks. The highlight of my days are working out, but I miss the freedom and adventure of being at school. I miss Theo too. We've talked every day, but haven't had a chance to see each other yet. He's been so busy. It's only been two weeks, but that's two weeks closer to when he leaves for his study abroad.

I finally have something to look forward to though. Some of my friends and I got tickets to a concert in the city and we're going tonight. I tried inviting Theo, but he has a family party he needs to be at. Cody will be there though along with my friends Hannah and Mandy. The four of us have been known to get a little crazy together at times.

We catch the train into the city and bring some drinks with us to pregame on the way. The nice thing about public transportation in this city is they don't mind if you drink on the trains.

We grab some booth seats across from each other. Mandy and Hannah sit beside each other on one side while Cody and I are across from them on our own seat. We laugh and joke around as we steadily get tipsier and tipsier. By the time we make it to the city, we're feeling pretty good.

Cody and Hannah also brought some weed to smoke at the concert, but I'm not really into that scene.

We walk the few blocks from the train station before making it to the music venue. The adrenaline is rushing through me as we get to the front of the line. I can hear the bass beats in the background and feel the energy of everyone around me. Everyone is excited to see this artist and their shows are supposed to be epic. It's supposed to be like one big dance party.

We all get inside and go off to explore the grounds. We find some lounge areas and hang out for a bit before the concert starts. We meet some random people and Hannah makes friends like she always does. Mandy and I are a bit more reserved in that aspect.

Cody is chatting it up with some guys he met. They're all taking turns smoking one of the joints Cody brought with him.

Finally it's time to head to the stage for the concert. I'm still feeling the buzz, but it's starting to wear off. Now I understand why Hannah and Cody brought stuff with them. Losing the buzz is kind of a bummer.

As the music flows, we're all feeling good. Cody is dancing beside me and I can see him losing himself in the music. I could watch him like this forever.

He takes a drag off his joint and turns to me with a goofy smile on his face. "Try it Ava. You're gonna love it."

I can't say no to him.

I take it in my hands and he instructs me on what to do. "Just breathe in a little. It's your first time so it won't take much to get you high. Hold it in your lungs for as long as you can, then let it out."

I do exactly as he says, but the burning in my throat almost makes me choke. I don't want to look weak in front of Cody though, so I hold it all in. Finally I let the smoke out and Cody gives me a big hug.

"You're amazing, Aves. I didn't know you had it in you, goody two shoes."

I roll my eyes at him before we both get back into the music.

The high hits me not too much later and I feel like I'm in a whole other world. My head is up in the clouds and everything feels great.

I turn to give Cody a thumbs up, but he's making out with some random girl next to me. It's like a bucket of ice water over my head and the high leaves almost instantly. The concert just isn't as much fun anymore.

I decide I want to call Theo. He'll make me feel better. I stumble my way out of the crowd, telling myself I'll be able to find my friends again after I've talked to Theo. I go back over to the lounge area where couples are making out on the bean bag chairs and almost everyone is smoking one thing or another.

I find an open corner in the back and pull out my phone. I have one missed text from Theo that says, Have fun at your concert, baby. Miss you.

I open up his contact and call him. He answers after three rings, "Hey baby. I didn't expect to hear from you tonight. Is everything okay?"

It takes me a second to get my bearings and respond to him. "Yup, ev'rythin' is just fiiinnneee," I respond.

"Ava, are you drunk?"

"I think the correct term is cross faded," I answer his question.

"Oh my God, Ava. You've never smoked before. What made you decide trying while you're at a concert with a bunch of people you don't even know? Ugh, I wish I was there to take care of you right now."

"I'm all gooood," I slur back. "I 'ave Cody and Hanny and Manny with me."

"Well, are they with you right now?"

I look around dumbly, knowing they're not. "Nah, they're with all their new friends kissing." I make a few smoochy noises. "I wish I was kissing you though."

"Ava, you're worrying me. I want you to go back and find your friends. You shouldn't be alone right now."

"Can't. Don't wanna see the kissing," I say.

"Who don't you want to see kissing?" Theo asks.

"Cody," I blurt before I even realize I said it.

"Ava, why don't you want to see Cody kissing?" Theo says, though he sounds wary.

"Dunno, makes my tummy hurt. My tummy hurts, Theo. You should come take care of me."

"Believe me, darling, I wish I could." Theo sounds sad all of the sudden and our conversation doesn't last much longer. He hangs up, making me promise I'll text him when I get home safe.

After hanging up, I stay in the lounge a little longer meeting new people since my inhibitions are much lower than they normally are. I take a couple more drags off other people's joints before Hannah and Mandy come find me.

"Ava! We've been looking for you everywhere! Cody is worried sick!"

Mandy puts her phone up to her ear, probably letting Cody know they've found me.

"What does Cody care? He wants to kiss all the girls but me."

"Oh honey," Hannah coos. "I thought you have Theo now? You told me how amazing he is and he really cares about you. You're not still hung up on Cody are you?"

I shake my head but I don't really know what I'm saying no to.

Suddenly I'm engulfed in strong arms. "Aves, I was so worried about you! One second you were there and the next you were gone. You can't run off like that especially after smoking for the first time. You don't know how you're going to react when you try something new."

I look up at Cody through watery eyes. He's not mine and he never will be. There will always be someone between us whether it's Theo or some random girl at a concert.

"Oh, no, buddy, no crying. I think it's time to get out of here. The concert is about to end." Cody wraps his arm around me and we all head back to the train station.

I lean on Cody's shoulder as soon as we're seated in the booth. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me against him. I bask in his warm embrace. This is probably the closest I'll ever get to having Cody.

I just feel like there's something I'm forgetting about...or maybe someone?