The Shadow That Smiled At Me

Chapter sixteen

Day after day passed. They seemed to last only seconds, coming and leaving with the speed of the sun. They were gone in the blink of an eye. In the morning, dawn woke up the wide region. The sun's rays like golden threads interwoven the atmosphere, enveloping the landscape in a golden robe. They slowly penetrated my room and brought me back to consciousness. I spent my days running between school, Vincent, Jessica and home. Jessica would often bring me along on set where we'd do silly things - Me, Jess and Matthew - she started dating him, for which I take credit, during her failed attempt to set him up for me. He is nice and funny. They even pulled me into the extras so I would have a reason to spend time with them more often. When Jess found something more permanent than just a night's entertainment, Vincent stopped bothering her so much. But that doesn't mean she stopped trying to get rid of him, she just didn't show open hostility. Her existence stopped bothering Vincent too when he didn't have to see her every day. Armistice in war.

With the end of high school approaching and me starting university, my parents spent more time at home instead of flying around the world. They probably wanted to enjoy me a bit before I left for good. They know it. They realize it.

As twilight fell upon the land, and night supplanted day, I fell into the sweet unconsciousness of human reality and returned to the realm people call madness. With each star rising into the dark heavens, I sank deeper and deeper into that world. Night after night I yearn to return. I fall asleep in my bed and wake up in Samael's castle. I open my eyes and there he is, waiting for my arrival. Every time I open my eyelids, the first thing I see is the golden sparkle of his eyes, which I can't forget even after I'm no longer with him. I get lost in them with pleasure, like when a whirlpool pulls you under the surface of the water. I'm drowning and finding pleasure in being out of breath.

Samael introduced me to his world, showed me the hidden corners of the shadows. He showed me the world I grew up in, as I had never known it before. Its brightness and the other side. Secret places, people's lives, tragedies and joys - we watched everything from behind the curtain of shadows. We destroyed and repaired. In the distant tropics, I collected unknown but beautiful flowers. We played king and queen in castles across Europe. By the campfire at the edge of the forest, we were just like that, existing, watching the stars, listening to the silence, the whisper of the wind in the treetops.

That was the wonderful thing about Samael, with him I didn't have to be who I was expected to be or who I wanted to be. With him, I could be who I was.

We sat in the library in massive velvet armchairs by the light of the fire in the stone hearth. Samael read in languages, long forgotten, and I listened intently to his captivating voice. I didn't understand a single word he said, but I liked the way it sounded, just like when he whispered quotes from different authors to me in foreign languages that I didn't understand either, but I could sense the meaning of those words in his voice. "Et tu es mon livre sanctifié. Mon poeme." he told me once. Umar Thymol - blood.

We strolled through the vast gardens of his mansion. Samael proved his power to me, sometimes even bragging. Flowers bloomed at his touch. The clouds let down rain as he commanded. The stars fell at his command. It fascinated me more than I was willing to admit. I didn't even think about running away. Rather, I ran away from my life here, to him.

I found a balance, a perfect harmony between my two lives, just like between my masks years ago. Or I just didn't notice what the split was doing to me. No one figured out my secret. No one will ever figure it out, I thought. I hid it well, very well. Maybe way too well.

Jessica was still trying to figure out who Samael was. I never admitted it to her. And considering that Samael moves among the shadows, she couldn't catch us.

I haven't solved the mystery called Samael, the shadow that once smiled at me and bewitched me with his gaze. I lost interest. One day, when he wants to, he will tell me. He will tell me about his past and his origins. Maybe someday I'll tell him how it started. How I fell night after night until he caught me.

⸸

Time gradually passed and the days that flew by disintegrated into fragments of memories trapped in an unknown history.

February passed...........

March was blown away by the sea breeze...................

April bloomed and withered...................

May.................

I was accepted to a university in New York, which made my parents extremely excited. Their vision of my future, which they had dreamed up the day I was born, was becoming a reality. The further I went, the more pressure I felt because I was living someone else's life. But what about my own life? Can I still live by myself? Who am I?

Maybe I'll find out in New York City.