The Shadow That Smiled At Me

Chapter twenty seven

Since that evening with Annabelle, I haven't shown up at college. I never wanted to go there anyway. I was only there to please my parents, and it was primarily my chance to escape. I saw no reason to ever go back there, not after what she said. I'm not crazy - and I don't need to prove it to anyone.

I decided to spend the rest of my days in the shadows. There was my home. I belonged there.

Damned.

Samael and I rode horses through the forest. I didn't know how to drive, but Samael taught me - it was hours of suffering, but he didn't lose his patience and it paid off in the end.

We drove through the forest. The ground shook under the hooves of our horses. The wind was blowing in my hair. I was shaking in the saddle. The sun's rays penetrated through the dense canopy of green leaves. Flickering strands of light danced through the forest. It had a magical effect, like in some kind of fairy tale world. I urged my horse, a black stallion, and we galloped forward. Samael, I left him somewhere behind. In speed, the world blurred into vague contours of color and light. I felt free.

I got to the edge where the forest met the meadow. In front of me lay a clearing covered with a wide variety of meadow flowers. The tall grass swayed gently in the breeze. Birdsong and the whisper of the wind in the treetops could be heard from afar.

I jumped off the horse. Out of nowhere, I felt dizzy. My vision was blurring. My knees buckled. I felt like the whole world was shaking with me.

Samael appeared beside me. He held me in his arms. "Arya?" his voice seemed distant.

It was all so strange, like I was falling apart. A bright light engulfed the landscape.

"Samael, what's going on?" the words stuck in my throat.

And that's when I woke up.

I was blinded by a bright light. Someone was shaking me. A muffled female voice sounded in my ears. "Arya..... Arya, wake up!" she called me. My mother, she called me.

I blinked to make the blurry world come together again into a clear picture. In front of me, by my bed, stood two figures. I got a better look at them – my mother and my father. I was confused. What are they doing here? Everything revolved around me. My body was stiff and sore. My mouth felt as dry as a desert. I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out of my throat, the words disintegrated into sounds that didn't make sense. As if I was still dreaming. As if I was still in the shadows. As if the whole world were covered by a translucent veil.

I struggled to get out of bed, my knees buckled and my father had to catch me in his arms so I wouldn't fall. With sorrow in his voice, he whispered into my hair, "You are so fragile. What happened to you?"

I gained confidence in my legs and pushed my father away. "I'm okay. I'm fine," I said slightly irritated.

"Of course," said the mother sarcastically.

"What do you want here?" I asked them forcefully enough to make them understand that they are not welcome.

"We're taking you home," said mother sternly. It wasn't a request or an announcement; it was an order to go pack immediately.

"That won't happen," I replied.

"Arya, sweetie," my father spoke to me in a gentle voice. "Annabelle called us about what's going on with you. We want to help you. We are worried about you."

I painfully rolled my eyes to hell itself. "Mysteriously you weren't so worried about me when you were away all the time." I blurted out. I immediately regretted those words, but it was too late, I said it. But the problem is that I really meant it, and even worse, I felt it. Forgotten by those who should have been closest to me. Only if I was what they wanted me to be, and only then was I worthy of their attention. I remember those dark nights when I wondered why I wasn't good enough. I've never been. Not for them. Not for this world.

Mother took my hands in hers. "You're not like that, Arya. You don't mean it seriously." her eyes showed worry. I was looking for anger there, anger at who I am, what I am like, but in vain, I couldn't find any.

I broke free from my mother's grip. "You have no idea what I'm like," I replied.

"I admit we should have been more attentive," said my father gloomily. "From what Jessica said, you've been in this condition for some time."

I laughed. Now they really amused me. "You're a few years behind in your interest." I said. "Now get out!" I pointed towards the door.

"Yes, we are leaving, but all together, Arya. We're taking you home." they stood by their opinion.

"You're right, you're leaving. You are leaving but without me."

"Arya, stop resisting!" my mother raised her voice.

"Never!" I protested. "I'm never coming back!" I screamed.

Father, as always, seemed completely calm. The scream was below his level. I have bitter blood from my mother, so our arguments used to be a bit noisy. Father approached me. "Arya, you are not well. Go pack your things and come back with us. We know a doctor who can help you." his voice sounded menacingly authoritative.

"I'm not crazy. This world is not okay." tears welled up in my eyes, burning me from how I tried to suppress them.

"Arya!"

"No," I said almost inaudibly.

I ran away. At that moment, I didn't think about where I was going. I just ran into the unknown. I ran away, as far away from them as possible. "Arya!" I heard their voices coming towards me, their footsteps following me. I didn't stop. I didn't look back. I ran as fast as my legs could. The elevator doors closed behind me, they remained on the other side, cut off from me. I got a few seconds to breathe.

When the door opened again, I started running again. I had to get out of here. I ran as fast as I could. My lungs hurt. I suppressed the weakness of my unruly body. I ran out into the street, where the noise of the city enveloped me. "Arya!" I heard my parents call behind me.

I wanted to cross the road, to the other side of the street and get lost in the crowd. I ran out into the traffic. The last thing I remember was the piercing sound of honking. I saw the approaching car and that's when it came, a strong impact on my body. People giggled. It took my breath away. I landed on the cold asphalt. A bright turquoise sky stretched out above me. Flosses of white clouds floated in the blue sky sea. Shadows overshadowed them. The sound of human voices surrounded me. Shock and horror. The surrounding landscape blurred and slowly disappeared. A sharp pain shot through my ribs. I was having trouble breathing. Peace reigned in me. My heart beat sleepily. "Arya!" the voice sounded so far away.

Darkness.