Bravery Requires Fear

12. Exhaustion

A/N: See end of chapter for notes on triggers.

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Barry was tired. It hit him the second he walked out of the med room, the fatigue did. Too much had happened today, too much was happening. He turned a corner, had to sidestep a ladder and continued on his way to the lounge. He wasn't about to go back to the apartment without Elaine, but he was tired and didn't want to stay in the med room.

He went to thinking about last night, too much was still happening. Last night was one thing, they'd both been tired and found comfort together and nothing was wrong with that. Barry was tired, she was obviously tired and just couldn't sleep, there wasn't anything wrong with sharing a bed when they were both tired.

He didn't realize why Grayson was so mad about it until he was sitting on that bed a few minutes ago listening to him fuss.

On top of that though, him and Elaine were both late for work and were lectured on punctuality and then she was called out for a bank heist or something and he had to sit by and cover for her. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, covering for her when he could be out there with her. When he got home and Grayson came over to lecture them both he just became confused, why was that such a bother for him? Then Elaine got mad and yelled at Grayson, and then she capped it and lost her cool when Barry tried to tell her to call out of work and walked out.

He thought he was doing the right thing when he warned Bryce against calling Elaine, really though it was selfishness. The only reason they didn't immediately call her was because Barry happened to be right there when the alert came in over the police scanner.

He tried to tell himself that, no, he was doing this because she was already stressed out as it was, but that chain of thinking didn't last long. He wanted to prove himself, prove to Elaine and her team that it was worth letting him back out there. He wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't a failure most of all though.

Barry turned the last corner and walked right into Mattias. He shot a hand out to steady himself against a wall and opened his mouth to apologize, but the kid beat him to it. Or well, he beat him to using his words.

He was ecstatic, bouncing up and down and, quite frankly, Barry was afraid he'd gotten hold of coffee. He waved his hands in the air when he saw Barry and started dragging him along talking on and on. He managed to catch 'Now I can play!' and 'you can help me set it up!' before his brain muddled and he started feeling foggy again.

Well, Barry thought, if I can't go home neither can he so we might as well do something.

Mattias led him over, not to their usual group of couches in the middle of the room but to the two armchairs parallel to each other by the back right wall. He let go of his arm when Barry was close enough to sit down and started running around grabbing blankets from the couches across the room and bags of chips (although Barry was pretty sure Christina said he couldn't have that kind) from the attached kitchenette.

Barry took a moment to observe his surroundings, thinking about how different this would be if he hadn't totally screwed all their lives up by coming here. They were actually squared in in a corner and the couches were a soft blue color, much like the ones across the room. Mattias was still running around getting things so Barry just looked at the game he had put out. Mattias had pulled out Candy Land from the cabinet and the pieces were almost all set up. He didn't know why Mattias needed him for a game because what Mattias needed was to go home and go to sleep.

He was a growing boy, he didn't need to be in the middle of this drama. He needed to be tucked into his bed so he would get up in time for school. Or, well, Barry cocked his head, it was Friday so maybe he just needed to get into his bed.