Bravery Requires Fear

14. Secrets

A/N: See end of chapter for triggers

______________________________

Barry was acting odd, really odd. You'd think that after almost a year of living together she'd know everything there was to know about him but no, Elaine did not.

Ever since the captain gave him a raise and upgraded his position on the force Barry had been acting weird around her. He woke up a lot earlier than he used to, was always at the precinct before he was, always made the food expertly and never stuck around for long. It was sad, Barry had become one of her best friends and Elaine knew that he'd been down in the dumps for a little while recently but avoiding her was a tactic she hadn't seen.

Last Friday she saw him at the table at one a.m. writing in some books and when she came back in the morning they were gone. All Elaine knew was that her partner in crime, roommate and newfound best-friend was losing himself again and getting obsessed. She wasn't sure how long she could let him go on like this without intervening.

_____________________

" So, Uncle Barry," Mattias looked up at him with a smirk, the boy was now nine years old and he'd added a few inches to his height, " Mom's been talking about something called the Speed Force and said that if we can make it work more for you then you can run faster and get back home."

He twirled a deck of cards in his hands and stared at the pile of work in Barry's hands expectantly, " Is it true that you haven't told Auntie Elaine yet?"

Barry glanced at Christina and started shuffling his papers into a folder so they could play cards, purposefully avoiding Mattias's eye when he answered the question, " Elaine knows all about what we're working on Matt. You just focus on beating me at cards, yeah?"

" Okay."

____________________

Okay, it really wasn't Barry's fault that he finished both of their case loads in three hours, it really wasn't. He was just so anxious to get these schematics done that he didn't bat an eye at the mountain of work. Elaine had taken the day off for personal reasons (a.k.a. Barry made her call out after she woke up and her nerves were so shot that she couldn't properly get dressed) so Barry was left to his own devices all day.

Of course that didn't help ease his mind very much, it made it easier for him to work on his project without having her around to ask questions but he did miss her, and if he was being honest Barry was worried. Ever since he started working on a way to get back to his earth, back to Joe and Caitlin and Cisco, she'd been pulling away herself. Elaine hadn't hurt herself in quite a few months but her distance still worried him, made him think.

She also hadn't been doing too well with Grayson and his offhanded comments either, that was one thing Barry was going to address before he left them, and it made him wonder if there was anything he said in particular that was wounding her. He didn't want her pulling away from him because of something her cousin said. Barry was stupid to think she would go to him about anything though, they'd hardly known each other for a year and he was acting like it was something special.

He shook his head and turned his thoughts back to the papers on his desk. It didn't matter anyways, he'd be gone in a few weeks. None of this mattered, nothing of what he was feeling would mean anything soon. He would be back in Central City with Joe, Cisco and Caitlin. No more doppelgangers from Earth-8, no more red hair, no more ice, no more popcorn at twelve p.m.

Barry inhaled sharply and clenched his fists to keep his breathing even as a thought hit him.

He would probably never see them again, never see her again.