Want You to Stay || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 9

Things are good.

But that doesn't mean she knows how to answer the seemingly innocuous question about her evening plans that Tim just asked.

"Tonight?" Lucy repeats, chewing on her lip as she mentally debates her response.

I should just tell him. The whole point is for things to go back to normal. If Lucy wants them to get back to the way things were, then maybe she needs to be the one to make that happen. She's never held back on sharing details about her personal life with Tim before. So why start now? Why should the fact they have seen and touched every single inch of each other's naked bodies change that? Lucy can feel the heat rising in her cheeks as dream Tim's cocky smirk appears in her mind's eye.

"You okay?" Tim glances her way as he pulls to a stop at a red light.

Lucy jerks to attention in her seat, "Yeah — I mean, yes. Yes. I'm fine."

He's still staring at her, obviously waiting for a response to his question and perplexed by why she is suddenly acting like an escaped lunatic.

Here goes nothing. "Tonight... I am going on a date."

A brief flicker of surprise, followed by understanding, crosses his face. "Oh," is all he says, his expression suddenly unreadable.

Lucy rushes to fill the tense silence, "Yeah. It's this guy who works at the DA's office, actually. I've somehow never met him, but my mom set it up; maybe she's finally coming around on law enforcement? It's the first time she hasn't set me up with a doctor. Feels like progress." Lucy laughs nervously.

Tim looks at her incredulously, mouth dropping open, "You're going on a date that your mom set up? Even after everything you told me —"

Lucy bristles, unsure why, but feeling like Tim is turning something she told him in confidence back on her. "It's not that simple, Tim. She's still my mom. She just wants what's best for me, and you of all people know how hard it is to meet someone in LA."

Tim opens his mouth to say something but then closes it, simply shaking his head in what appears to be a cross between confusion and frustration.

Desperate to change the subject, to avoid this turning into a fight, the words slip out of her mouth before she can stop them. "How are things going with Ashley?"

Lucy sucks in a breath, feeling like it was the wrong thing to say — that the question makes it seem like she's going on this date as some kind of petty quid pro quo, which is absolutely not the case.

However much their night together may have complicated her feelings, one thing is still absolutely certain — Lucy wants Tim to be happy. And she is glad that he has seemingly found happiness with Ashley. And now, she just wants to try and find that very same happiness for herself. That is why she agreed to go on this date.

An all too familiar sludgy feeling is beginning to churn in her stomach. She shoves it down, forcing herself to meet Tim's eyes with an encouraging smile, to make sure he knows she didn't mean the question as some kind of veiled barb.

His voice is tight when he responds, "They're good... it's good," he shifts his gaze back to the road, waiting a few beats before he adds, "I hope you have a good time on your date, Lucy."

***

And she does.

She takes her time getting ready, blasting a high-energy playlist and pulling one of her favorite outfits out of her closet — a matching floral halter top and skirt set with strappy black heels.

When her mom calls to coach her on what to say, do, and wear on the date, she even tries to channel the well-intentioned enthusiasm rather than letting herself get overly annoyed by the uninvited advice. She humors her mother with a, "Sure, mom," after the elder Chen reminds her daughter to make sure and wear her hair down, even as Lucy is putting the finishing touches on her updo.

And when, despite all of her efforts, there's still a lingering pit in her stomach, she reassures herself that it's been awhile since her last real date; she's just a little nervous — that's all.

Chris Sanford is handsome and charismatic and kind. And there's an easiness to being on a date with someone that already understands her job, the pressures and mundanity, and even, at times, the hilarity of her day-to-day.

He's smiling at her warmly as he takes a sip of his wine, "You've got quite the reputation at the DA's office, you know. The rookie cop who delivered us two major drug operations wrapped up with a bow. Unbelievable."

Lucy can feel her cheeks flush as she beams back at him, "I was technically a P2 by then," she playfully corrects.

He laughs heartily, "Oh. Well then, I can't believe it wasn't three major drug operations."

Lucy can't help but laugh with him — he has one of those contagious ones that seems like it could pull her out of the darkest of moods. And he doesn't seem to hold back or have any reservations about putting his joy on full display for the world to see.

"So what made you want to work for the DA?"

"Mostly just wanted to piss off my parents; imagine their surprise when I told them I wasn't planning to use my Harvard law degree to secure a spot at a top firm... they were less than pleased, to put it mildly."

He shakes his head, "No, but seriously, I've always known this is what I wanted to do — a few too many Law and Order marathons when I was a kid, I guess. My parents have known it, too; I think they were just hoping law school would knock some sense into me."

"I feel you on that," Lucy says, lifting her glass for a long sip of wine. "Disappointing parents is apparently a specialty of mine."

Chris's face softens as he meets her eyes, "It's not an easy time to be in the LAPD. Or a police officer in general."

"It certainly isn't," Lucy nods, surprised at the sudden emotion building in her throat. "I just want to help people, you know? And this job is the first time I've felt like I'm helping people in a way that feels authentic to me. The way I'm supposed to be, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. I think my parents were hoping I'd at least go into criminal defense with a larger firm once they realized corporate law was out of the question. But it didn't even feel like a choice to me. It's just my calling."

Something in his eyes tells her that he really does know. She feels a warmth in her stomach as his gaze lingers on her for maybe a second longer than necessary. The combination of understanding and admiration in his eyes makes her feel both nervous and excited. And for a second it's like she's seeing herself through his eyes — the version of Lucy that he is seeing right now —and she realizes that she really likes what she sees.

When Chris gently kisses her after walking her to her car later that night, it's about as perfect a first date as she's ever been on. His lips are soft and her stomach flutters as she arches up on her toes to meet him.

And everything about it is simple and exciting and good — something sparkly and new that's not weighed down by confusion or regret or complications. Not weighed down by all of the reasons they shouldn't.

She slides her arms around his neck, and Chris takes the cue to deepen the kiss into something a little hotter, a little more anticipatory of everything that has yet to come between them.