Want You to Stay || Chenford / The Rookie

Part 16

Lucy gushes about how much everyone loved Chris on the car ride home. "Thank you for making the effort to get to know everyone; it means a lot to me," she tells him earnestly.

Chris nods, glancing over to smile at her. "They were great. Grey had me cracking up with all of his insider hot takes on the brass. And Nolan..." he shakes his head and laughs. "He certainly has a lot of stories for a guy that's been on the job for less than two years. And I am definitely looking forward to that double date with Angela and Wesley."

Lucy laughs, recalling the enthusiastic and animated conversations Chris and Wes had had throughout the evening. "Should I be worried? You and Wes certainly seemed to hit it off," she teases.

And it's then that something shifts. Chris's jaw tightens and he focuses more intently on the road, becoming uncharacteristically quiet for the remainder of the trip. Lucy tells herself it's been a long night and he's probably just tired. So she fiddles with the radio until she finds a station she likes, and lets the music fill the silence as they make their way back to Chris's condo.

Once they make it upstairs, Lucy has him by the tie before the door has even finished swinging shut, eager to act on the suggestion he'd planted in her ear at the gala. Eager to show him how much she really does appreciate how wonderful he was tonight.

He stiffens when she tugs him toward her for a kiss, and that's when she knows for sure that he isn't just tired. There is definitely something on his mind.

What she doesn't expect is for him to be so direct about it when she asks him what's wrong.

"You and Tim?" is all he says at first, eyeing her carefully.

Lucy freezes, caught completely off guard and feeling suddenly like she is under a microscope. She swallows and tries to keep her voice level when she responds, "Me and Tim what?"

Chris shakes his head, seemingly disappointed in her response. "Look, it's obvious you two have quite a bit of history. And maybe that's none of my business. I guess I was just surprised to hear how close you both were at the gala when you haven't really talked about him at all..."

"I — um..." Lucy is at a loss for words, feeling stupid for not having mentally prepared for this conversation, for not having known it would be coming after the awkwardness at the dinner table.

"Lucy, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," his face softens as he reaches for her. "I don't need all the details; I just need you to be honest with me. I am obviously really into you. My family loves you and we know your parents love me..."

Lucy laughs despite herself. Chris is most definitely the only choice she's made in a very long time that her parents have whole-heartedly approved.

"I'm crazy about you, and I am committed to this — to us. But I got this vibe tonight... at dinner, and then later when I found you both on the balcony... do you have feelings for him, Lucy?" his voice wavers slightly, and it's then that Lucy realizes how much emotion he's been trying to keep under control, how much he really does care for her.

Her throat tightens and she shakes her head, "You're right ... there is a lot of history between us, but... but that's all it is. History. He's my boss, Chris. And, yes, he's my friend, too." At least he was.

Lucy shakes off the errant thought, surprised at how much it stings before she continues, "But that is all. You don't have anything to be worried about." She swallows, wondering why the words feel so hollow even though she is doing her best to say them with conviction.

His expression is unreadable by the time she finishes. He nods slowly, stepping back from her. Lucy reaches to try and stop him and he pauses, "Chris, I —"

He shakes his head, "Lucy, I appreciate you trying to be honest with me."

Lucy flinches at his words. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He's still studying her in that aggravating lawyer way of his, like he can see something so clearly about her that she has yet to discover.

He finally shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Lucy — you're right. If you're telling me there's nothing for me to be worried about, then I believe you. I don't want to fight."

He tugs her back into his arms and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I think I'm just more tired than I realized. You know this trafficking case has me all wound up; maybe we should just try and get some sleep? Talk more tomorrow?"

Lucy nods, feeling like the conversation is far from resolved, but also grateful for the reprieve. She is being honest with Chris; what happened between her and Tim is in the past. She cares deeply for Tim; she always will. But to hear it from Chris — the idea that maybe there could be something more between her and Tim, even after deciding what happened between them was a mistake... it's not something she can stomach thinking anymore about right now.

Lucy takes her time getting ready for bed, peeling off the dress that she had imagined would have been coming off a very different way, washing the make-up off her face, brushing her teeth, and then staring at herself in the mirror for far too long as she tries to understand what exactly had shifted between her and Chris tonight, and how it had all happened so quickly.

She tells herself he must be sound asleep by the time she climbs into bed because he doesn't reach for her, doesn't wrap her in his arms like he has on so many nights before.

It's after 1 AM when Lucy's phone buzzes. She probably wouldn't have even noticed the vibration if she wasn't wide awake and miserable, replaying the entire evening and her conversation with Chris over and over in her mind.

She retrieves the device from the nightstand, squinting in response to the brightness of the screen as she reads the simple two-word message from Tim, "He's dead."