I immediately erupted into tears when the judge said the words not guilty. I could feel Tabitha hugging me, I could feel Charlie rubbing my shoulders, I could feel how wet my face was becoming, but what mattered most was what I felt on the inside: peace. An overwhelming sensation of peace swept away every last bit of anxiety in my mind.
School didn't matter. Nas and Santana didn't matter. Charlie didn't matter. My job didn't matter. The one thing that could've truly inhibited my life was no longer an obstacle, and I took my not guilty verdict as a new opportunity to treat every decision I would make next with care.
The cherry on top was that I could never been tried again for this crime, so I wouldn't been seeing a courthouse again for the rest of my life (so long as I followed the law).
Fallon's lawyer/brother was swiftly put into handcuffs and arrested for coercion and obstruction of justice. The smile on her face was golden, as we mirrored one another both wiping away the tears that fell from our faces.
I started to feel bad for her. Something deep in me wanted to just run over there and give her a hug. She didn't tell me what familial battles she was facing but her willingness to share information played a huge hand in my freedom. Did I owe her? She wasn't even from Arizona, so where would she go? Back to Minnesota? These were questions that had nothing to do with me, but I found myself caring anyway. She would walk out of this court room alone...and I felt empathetic. I guess I would leave it at this: she had my number and if she needed something she knew how to reach me.
The shock of being an officially free woman settled in, as the judge essentially kicked us all out. There was no time to revel or celebrate, because there was a case immediately after mine in the same courtroom.
Tabitha and I stood before I pulled her into a long hug, slightly rocking her back-and-forth.
"You deserve this," she whispered into my ear. I responded with loud, uneven sniffles in her ear, which made her laugh.
"So what you about to do?" Charlie asked me with an unsure smile as I pulled away from her mom.
"Go home and take a nap," I laughed through my tears.
She nodded her head, nervously hitting her fists together.
"I'll see you later, Char," I said as I gave her hand a squeeze.
She just nodded again, not wanting to read too deeply into our interaction.
I hugged Tabitha another quick time before grabbing my bag and walking down the center aisle by myself.
I could see Nas on the other side of the open double doors waiting but I didn't feel any particular emotion as I walked up to him. I don't think anything could dull my moment right now.
I let him kiss me on my forehead, which made me want to let him do more but I kept myself together.
I wrapped my arms around his stomach and buried my face into his chest. I missed him. He instinctively did the same, resting his chin on top of my head. As my tears soaked his shirt, he rubbed my back and squeezed me tighter. This is exactly where I wanted to be, but I still couldn't bring myself to fall back just because my emotions were high.
"Can I take you somewhere, Indica?" he asked, grabbing both of my hands.
"I really just wanna go home. I'm exhausted."
