Let's Go Brooklyn *Spot Conlon Modern AU*

Only Love Can Hurt Like This

"You messed up," Mush says as he sits down with the other boys at the lunch table on Tuesday.

"Who?" Race asks.

"Brins."

My head snaps up. "What? How did I mess up?"

"That kiss yesterday," Mush says, looking at me. "Spot was off the entire practice. Coach actually started calling him Sean because he couldn't make any good throws."

"And that's because he kissed me?"

"Yes! Spot's never had an off day at practice until last night, and the only thing that was different yesterday was your kiss."

"He kissed me. I didn't do anything. Mrs. Baker said we didn't have to kiss, but he still kissed me. It's not my fault. Plus, he's been ignoring me since then. If anyone should feel off, it's me."

"He's ignoring you because he doesn't know how to feel," Jack says.

"Well, it makes me feel like shit," I respond.

"Why?" Skittery asks.

"I don't know, maybe because before he asked me to Homecoming, I told him I've liked him for a really long time, and then we had a good time at Homecoming, or so I thought, and then he kissed me, made me fall super hard for him, and now he won't even look at me," I say in one breath before slumping in my chair. The boys fall silent and look at me.

"You told him about your longtime crush?" Blink asks as the same time Crutchy asks, "You fell hard for him after the kiss?"

"Yes, to both of those," I answer.

"How stupid can you be?" Race asks.

I groan and drop my head on the table. 

Faith pats my back. "She's not stupid. She's a girl. It's what we do."

"And boys are terrible with girls," Davey says. "Spot has no idea what to do with any of this information."

"He asked me to Homecoming after I told him I had a dream he asked me to Homecoming because I've liked him for a long time," I mumble. There's a beat of silence.

"You did WHAT!?" Snipeshooter asks loudly.

"You heard me," I say, picking my head up and rubbing my eyes. "I'm stupid. I really thought we had a chance. And now I'm heartbroken over a guy that ghosted me after he kissed me."

Sixth hour is the only time I see Spot that day. As soon as I walk in, I see him reading a book. I sit down far away from him and grab my earbuds. After talking with the guys and Faith at lunch, I know exactly what song I want to listen to.

I tell myself you don't mean a thing
And what we got, got no hold on me
But when you're not there, I just crumble
I tell myself I don't care that much
But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch

I think back to Homecoming, and how good it felt to be in Spot's arms.

Only love
Only love can hurt like this
Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
Only love can hurt like this

I get a feeling that someone's looking at me. I look up and see Spot. He's not looking at me, but he's not looking at his book anymore either. He's smiling at something on his phone. My brain hopes it's his little sister but when I hear a giggle, I look over and see Jade also on her phone. She laughs again, and looks up, right at Spot. I look at Spot again, and he's smiling at her.

And I was stupid enough to think that smile was only for me.

Say I wouldn't care if you walked away
But every time you're there, I'm begging you to stay
When you come close, I just tremble
And every time, every time you go
It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul