𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 | 𝘕𝘔𝘐𝘟𝘟 𝘏𝘈𝘌𝘓𝘠

chapter 3: confusion

lily pov

i just walked out of haewonies room confused and dissatisfied with her reaction to my question. i can tell something is bothering her and i feel like i'm the problem. she recently started acting weird around me and i just can't tell why. i don't really wanna overanalyze it but it's starting to also bother me too. i have this feeling that whatever is bothering her is making her think that i won't support her and things will be different between us.

i walked to my room and sat down on my desk. i grabbed my diary and started to write in it. 

dear diary, today was kind of rough. i feel like haewonie is avoiding me and she seems like she has a secret that might involve me and i'm scared of what it'll be. well, i'm not 100% sure that she really does have a secret, but i'm pretty sure she does! i just hope she knows that i'll be here for her all the time.
also, today at the fansign i got no gifts from nswer which made me really sad obviously, but i tried to make it seem like i was fine and not bothered, but i really am not good at hiding my emotions.
i really hope people don't look into it and make it a big thing on the internet. i don't want people to know nmixx as a group with a member who is not loved because she's half Australian.
i don't want to bring down nmixx.

i finished writing in my diary. i closed the book and put it back where it was. my heart ached while i remembered how coldly haewonie acted towards me when she was obviously disturbed about something. i don't want to pressure her into telling me because she'll be able to tell me when she wants to, but i hope it isn't something that is really important and making her feel uncomfortable.

it's like 1:20 something AM right now which means that the girls are all probably sleeping by now. feeling a sudden need to drink water i grab my water bottle but it feels empty so i take the water bottle on a little trip to the kitchen to go fill it up for the night.

i open my door and try to be as quiet as possible so i won't wake the girls. in the hallway, i look at haewonies room as i sigh and walk past it. i finally make it into the kitchen and i go to the sink to change out the water in my water bottle.
i figured that since i'm already out here in the kitchen i might as well get a little snack too.

i grab a small bag of chips and head back to my room. i check my phone to see how long i took to do this it's about 1:26am.
wow. took me like 6 minutes to do only this? i must be pretty slow haha. i thought as i walked back to the hallway i came from, but something was different...

when i passed haewonies room i heard a noise coming from it

"i like y-ou so~so much, unnie~" my heart stopped, and my eyes were wide open. "u-unnie??" i whispered and almost dropped my chips due to the shock but i tried not to because then she would most likely wake up because i know how much of a light sleeper she is.

a part of me wished that she was referring to me, but another part of me felt insecure and remembered that she could be referring to a friend or something.
i cursed at myself for being so nosy and put the bag of chips on my desk, not having an appetite for a snack anymore due to my overthinking

anyway, i tried to forget about what just happened and opened my phone to update on bubble.

"정말 사랑해! 오케이?
I really love you! Okay?"

"내일 더 얘기하자!
Let's talk more tomorrow!"

"늧었으니!
It's too late!"

"난 자러 가야겠다
I better go to sleep"

"잘자!
Good night!"

❤️

before going to sleep i could only think of haewonie and about what had just happened again. who is unnie? does she have a crush on a girl? but...what if...no, it can't be. there's no way. she's way too good for me.

--

yes those r real texts from lily's bubble from 7/12/23 (the day after the fan meeting irl!)
thx for reading this chapter ik it was kinda short but please vote!!

(btw i also edited this chapter to match the last chapter)