my heart can never trust again

chapter 4

Thabi: POSITIVE!
Me: don't shout!
Thabi: okay!

I open my phone and see that Tumisho has updated his status. I decide to watch it and I wish I didn't. Him and Yvonne are engaged! Oh kill me.

Thabi: what are you going to do now?
Me: I don't know.

I say as I start crying. What am I going to do with this baby? Thabi comforts me and cuddles me while I cry. She leaves hours later. I am now left alone, by myself. Maybe I should go to his house and see him tomorrow but I'll make an appointment with my gynecologist first.

The next morning...

My gynecologist is available to see me at 08:00 so that's where I'm headed right now, I'm using my dads car again. After about 40 minutes of driving, i finally get there on time. I go in and go straight to her office after I'm given my file.

Her: mapi, how are you doing?
Me: could be better but I'm holding on, how are you?
Her: perfect. so why are we here today?
Me: I think I'm pregnant but I know pregnancy tests can be wrong sometimes so I took 5 and they were all positive.
Her: all right then. have you seen your periods?
Me: no.
Her: okay, im going to need you to take this test.

I take the test and we wait for some time. The test is also positive.

Her: do you want to do a scan?
Me: yes please

We go to the room where we're going to do the scan and she does the ultrasound/sonogram. When she's done, she prints it out for me and hands it to me.

Her: you're 6 weeks pregnant.
Me: explains the bump.

I say rolling me eyes and she laughs. I take the scan and my things and I leave. I go to McDonald's first and have my first meal of the day. I really eat these days. So I get a large McFeast, nuggets, a Sprite and a donut. I eat and then I drive back home.

On my way home, I call my parent's. They totally just disappeared on me and still haven't called back.

Mom: hello, my baby.
Ma: mama, where are you?
Mom: my baby, we are at your aunts house. she called and said she wasn't feeling well so we came to see her. We will be back soon.
Me: oh okay.
Mom: I'll have to call you back, we're busy here.
Me: okay, love you.
Mom: love you, bye.

Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm not ready to tell them.

I get home and go up to my dad's study where I reprint the sonogram and the pictures I took on my phone. I printed them out the same way sonograms are printed. I go to my room and contemplate changing but decide against it.

I'm wearing a long black skirt and a long sleeve tee underneath an oversized hoodie, which is all back. I take the second sonogram, the printed pictures and two pregnancy tests. My parents are not home so I lock up and leave.

I'm going to give these to Tumisho, he at least has the right to know about his child. I stop at steers and get a milkshake. After that, I continue driving until I get to this place. I get there and let myself in, I still have the key. I am met with Yvonne standing in the kitchen wearing his hoodie.

YV: hey, can I help you and how did you get in here?
Me: I have a key, I'd like to speak to Tumisho.
YV: where did you get the key?
Me: Tumisho is my man so he gave me a key.
YV: Tumisho is my fiance wena! how dare you come up here and claim my man!
Me: why would I claim a man I've been with for plus or minus 8 months?
YV: and we've been together for 4 years so what's up?
Me: I'm not here to fight with you, can I please talk to Tumisho?
YV: no! I will tell you what you're going to do! you are going to hand over that key and leave!
Me: who do you think you are?!
YV: his woman! and what are you?!
Me: I'll beat you nna!
YV: TRY IT!

Tumisho runs down and gets in the way, pushing Yvonne back while she's trying to fight me.

Tumisho: what do you want?
Me: what do I want?!
Tumisho: you are disturbing our peace. look, nothing happened between us so please leave.

I look at him in shock.

Tumisho: please leave.
Me: you said you loved me and that you would always take care of me...
Tumisho: I never said that and I'd never do that.

The tears are just coming down like a fountain.

YV: leave, you fatso.

She says pointing at my pregnancy belly because I took off my hoodie in the car. I take everything out of my bag and place it on the kitchen counter.

Tumisho: what is this?
Me: your baby.
Tumisho: that thing is not mine.
Me: he is!
Tumisho: then go kill it, I am not going to take care of that or you.

I nod and look away.

Tumisho: let me show you out.

He says grabbing my arm and squeezing it really painfully. He throws me out and I shout.

Me: I hope she gives you an STD and you die!
Tumisho: what did you say?

I feel my cheeks burn while I fall on the floor. Tumisho put his hands on me? Tumisho slapped me so hard that I fell on the floor? I get up and get in my car. I drive off while crying. I get home and lock up the whole house before going up to my room and breaking down. How could he?! I look down at my belly and rub it.

Me: your daddy doesn't want you, nana. but don't worry, mommy is here and she'll stay strong for you.