I can't wait to get out of here. I can't wait to leave this place full of triggers and people who think they know what's best for me. Mom's trying, which helps a bit. I know my parents care, and are trying their best. But that doesn't change the fact that I can't get through a day without being triggered by Dad. My little brother cares but shows it in a way that makes everything worse. I wish I could tell him all the secrets they are keeping from him but then he won't grow up in a place he trusts. It eats me up inside knowing I'm keeping their secret. I'm scared what'll happen if I tell someone. I know he won't intentionally hurt me but he's done it enough that I don't believe that.
It's not like I don't have a good life here, I do, which is why I feel so guilty for needing to leave. They're trying their best. Their best just hurts me in ways I can't fully understand and explain. A feeling that physically hurts even though I know it's just in my head.
I need to get out of here for my own sanity. Except I can't tell anybody why.
YOU ARE READING
Secrets ||Signed, Me||
De TodoA place for me to document me processing my thoughts and feelings as they come out. Apologies 😔 TRIGGER WARNING -mention(s) of self harm, suicide (brief),disorderly eating, trauma, etc.
