THE AUDACITY THEY HAVE TO PRETEND TO CARE IS APPALLING! They're like, oh, let us know what you're feeling and thinking, you don't have to say it out loud, you can just text us. So i do, i say hey, the wifi is out, there is no way i'm going to be able to sleep so this is your warning to prepare yourself for bitchy [redacted] tomorrow and all they say is " i'll work on the wifi tomorrow" and attatches a screenshot of the [redacted] notice.
AT LEAST BE CONSISTENT ABOUT WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT ME!!! You either do care or you don't but stop with this whole i care about you and i will do everything in my power to make life easier for you but then turn around and DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK like atleast pick a side! And here i was thinking this were getting better, but noooo you had to turn around and stop caring now that i'm eating and not cutting
WELL YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!!! I CUT 3 DAYS AGO AND YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE! DON'T TELL ME I CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING AT ANYTIME WHEN WE BOTH KNOW THATS A FUCKING LIE! IT'S ALWAYS NOW'S NOT THE TIME, I HAVE A MEETING IN 15 MINUTES, OR NO CAN WE TALK LATER, I'M NOT READY TO SUPPORT YOU. FUCKING SHIT DUDE!!! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO TALK THROUGH SHIT WHEN I CAN BARELY MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY WITHOUT RELAPSING!
I don't owe either of you shit. I am capable of feeling shitty without you needing to add to it. And now here i am, typing this out in the same room i attempted in while you two are having the best sleep of your lives, not a care in the world while your eldest is contemplating whether it's worth the possible ink poisoning to cut with a pen and not a knife but then thinking maybe i'm fine with that. Maybe that's how i want to die. Maybe that's how i'll leave my mark on this world, with a pen stabbed into my heart.
HOW FUCKING POETIC
YOU ARE READING
Secrets ||Signed, Me||
RandomA place for me to document me processing my thoughts and feelings as they come out. Apologies 😔 TRIGGER WARNING -mention(s) of self harm, suicide (brief),disorderly eating, trauma, etc.
