i forgive you (y/ns pov)

Chapter 1: I hate that you made me do that

„Agent y/l/n, where are you?"

Furys voice cut sharp through my phone.

It's been three days since he found me in Berlin. After a long night out he suddenly sat across the table at one of the random bars I attended that night. The half emptied bottle of beer in front of me had lost its taste an hour ago. I wanted to get drunk so badly. But no matter how much I drowned that night, nothing worked anymore. I took another frustrated sip when I saw him.

„Done staring at that bottle?"

I didn't know when he got in the bar. I didn't know when he sat down. I didn't pay any attention to my surroundings whatsoever.

„What do you want?" I asked looking back at the bottle, frustrated that I wasn't as drunk as I wished I was right at that moment.

„We need you back again", he stated.

I let out a small laugh in disbelief. If only I was drunk. I could just get up and pretend nothing I just heard really happened. I could go back to my hostel and tell myself it was just the alcohol playing a trick on my memories.

„No."

My voice sounded only half as annoyed as I was.

„Y/l/n, I want you back at the compound."

He said while I was chucking down the rest of my disgusting beer.

„Things haven't been the same since you left."

I put the empty bottle down loud enough for the bartender to notice. He looked at me as I got up from my seat. I threw my leather jacket back on and nodded my head to tell him goodbye. I got a small nod and a polite smile back. Without saying another word I passed Fury and left the bar.

„Y/n!", he yelled running after me.

I knew exactly what he was trying to do. Changing to my first name to make his matter sound more personal. I ignored him.

„The team needs you!"

„WHAT TEAM?!" I yelled back at him. He stopped surprised at my anger.

„What fucking team, Fury? The one that betrayed me? That pushed me away? That gave a fucking shit about me? That team?"

I slowly made my way back to him.

„They care about you and you know that", he tried to calm me down.

„Do I?" My voice filled up with anger.
„Then where are they? No one tried to stop me. No one showed up. No one reached out. Not even a single message. They replaced me. They abandoned me!"
I backed up again.
„If they really care for me, they're doing a great job at hiding it!"

„There was a no-contact-rule. You wanted to get away and I respected that wish, y/n. I made sure they wouldn't find you."

„Since when do they care, Fury? They always talk about being a family, having each others back, no matter what. If any of that was true, they would have ignored your stupid no-contact-rule. As they always do. And you know that."

My voice started shaking. I couldn't hold up my act much longer. It has been seven months since I left the team and to be honest: It hurt like hell that no one reached out. Any time someone went undercover or got lost after a mission, they would do everything they could to find them, to reach out, to let them know they wouldn't be forgotten.

This time they didn't.

They let me go and it hurt.

I turned around and started to walk away again as I didn't want Fury to see that I was hurting. My eyes started to fill up with tears. I didn't want him to see me struggle. I was better of without them. At least that's what I wanted to make him believe.

He took a deep breath. Then with a strong and loud voice he ordered:

„Agent y/l/n, you are to return to the compound. This is an official order. You are contractually committed to national and international security. If you don't follow this instruction, I will have to issue an international arrest warrant."

I stopped. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

„Did I make that clear, Agent?"

I turned around giving him a death stare.

„Did I make that clear?", he repeated.

„Yes."

Under these circumstances there was nothing I could say or do about it.

„I'll give you to the end of the week and expect you at the compound on Friday. Contact me with the information on your return."

„Yes, Sir."

My voice got dark and angry.
„I hate that you did that."

„I hate that you made me do that", he replied.

He then turned around and walked away.