i forgive you (y/ns pov)

Chapter 5: Point proven

After meeting Barnes I got so enraged, I had to find a way to let all these emotions out. Usually I would walk out to a bar and got wasted. But with all that anger no bar would even let me in. I had to find something else.

It definitely wasn't my style but I stormed to the shooting range. I remembered all the safety protocols and passwords. The gun cabinet opened within seconds. Quickly I grabbed a pair of earmuffs, a gun and some ammo and started the training program.

A first run. A second run. A third run.

Every shot a deadly hit.

I didn't need practice, I just needed a good imagination.

But I quickly came to the realisation that no matter how many bullets I fired on that target, it wouldn't solve my problem.

I was about to start a fourth run when I heard someone entering the shooting range.

„I hope these bullets are not on me."

Barnes still had the guts to joke around me.

„Each and every one", I replied cold, grabbing more ammunition.

„Can we talk about this?", he begged.

„I thought I made myself clear", I said reloading the gun.

„Back the fuck off."

I repositioned myself for the next round.

„Come on. Don't be so harsh on me, doll."

Faster than he understood, I turned to him and pointed the loaded gun directly at him.

„Call me doll again and I'm gonna shoot your fucking face!"

His smug grin disappeared.

„You don't wanna do this."

His voice sounded way deeper and way more serious than before. His gaze went cold.

I repositioned my hand the slightest and fired the gun.

The bullet just missed his head and went straight into the wall behind him.

„You have no idea how bad I actually wanna do this."

He went silent.

Slowly I let the gun down not breaking eye contact.

He shook his head:
„Talk to me! I don't get it. What did I do wrong?"

So much for Wandas: „We thought about you. Everyday."

How was I to believe that when no one ever told Barnes the truth? When they made him part of their family without ever mentioning that? Did they really expect me to come home after that mission and act like nothing ever happened? They couldn't possibly be this stupid.

Angry tears filled my eyes.

„It was you, Barnes. You fucking killed my sister."

I almost broke down speaking those words.

I tried not to talk about it. Not to think about it. When it came to my sister I tried to focus on all the beautiful memories we shared. In my thoughts she was still alive. She was still living her best life. No worries.
I tried to suppress every memory of her death.
But right now with Barnes in front of me that was impossible.
And it hurt like it did on the first day.

He saw that I was struggling and tried to keep a somewhat friendly face.

„I... I am so sorry. I'm sorry for what happened. I'm sorry it had to happen to you. But I... I didn't kill your sister. It was the Winter Soldier. I am not that person –"

„BULLSHIT!"

Without looking at it, I fired three shots at the target behind me and they all hit. Head, heart, crotch.

I didn't believe a word he said.

He tried to keep his voice as calm as possible but I knew he was struggling:
„All that programming that Hydra did..."

I cut him off:
„I don't fucking care! Programmed or not. You killed her! You wanna point the blame on the Winter Soldier?! Fine! But don't you dare try to tell me that you had nothing to do with it! Her blood is on his hands just as much as it is on yours! You are the fucking Winter Soldier and that will never change!"

He snapped right in front of my eyes. I saw the anger taking over.

„Take that back!"

„Or what?!", I dared.

Within moments he took a big step towards me and grabbed my neck with his metal hand.

„TAKE THAT BACK!", he demanded.

„Never..." I breathed.

His grip tightened. And as it got harder to breathe, I grew a cocky grin on my face.

„What is so funny about that?"

His grip got so tight that he slowly pulled me off the ground.

Once I started to actually struggle, I raised my right arm and punched him with the handle of the gun straight in his face. His grip loosened and I fell down on my knees. Startled, he dropped his arm.

I, on the other hand, kept my cocky grin:
„Point proven."

I got back up and walked right up to him. Close enough that I could feel his breathing on my skin: „Once again, Barnes. Back the fuck off."

I passed him, threw the gun on the table, took off the earmuffs and threw them next to the gun. Without looking back, I knew Barnes was staring as I made my exit. I flipped him off.